January, 2012


5
Jan 12

Free political, visual advice

I noted on Twitter that it should be no surprise that a soap called “Dancing Waters” from Bath & Body Works doesn’t remove chain grease. Someone observed that is “kind of like saying the aromatherapy candles don’t get rid of the exhaust smell from your Harley.”

Great line, but only because he’s never heard of the exceptionally strong soy scented candles.

The Internet can’t describe the smell, which is a failure of the human olfactory cortex — linked to the hippocampus, but not to the thalamus.

The U.S. broadcast media says “SOPA? What’s that?

Controversial legislation that the co-founder of Google has warned “would put us on a par with the most oppressive nations in the world” has received virtually no coverage from major American television news outlets during their evening newscasts and opinion programming. The parent companies of most of these networks, as well as two of the networks themselves, are listed as official “supporters” of this legislation on the U.S. House of Representatives’ website.

As the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) makes its way through Congress, most major television news outlets — MSNBC, Fox News, ABC, CBS, and NBC — have ignored the bill during their evening broadcasts. One network, CNN, devoted a single evening segment to it.

I get it. They have corporate bosses who have bosses who have properties that think this will protect them. Also, broadcasters aren’t carrying a torch for online entities — since they are so often being torched by online entities. (Though Poynter is finally telling journalists they should be concerned about all this. How any advocate of the First Amendment could read this legislation and not be troubled is beyond me.) We’re moving a significant way down the slippery slope.

God bless America, we need the help.

Speaking of politics, Dale Peterson is back. Remember this guy?

His wife is now running for office. Or, as he says, is “after the republican nomination …”

It isn’t the rifle, or even the pace of the thing, but the air quotes. They’re just reaching out of your monitor, trying to drag you to your polling place … it is an unsettling gesture. If you must do air quotes on video, do them parallel to your ears.


4
Jan 12

4,231 > 17

We’ve been trying to have doughnuts for breakfast since Sunday. But that was New Year’s Day, and so our local doughnut shop was closed. Monday? Closed for New Year’s Hangover, I suppose. Yesterday we had a real breakfast. Today we made it happen.

After the sugar kicked in and moved on — and after having made it through the morning edition of email, text messages and RSS reading — we decided for a light ride. Would have ridden yesterday, but it was too cold. Today it was just right, a light chill in the shade and a good breeze to keep the temperature right when you started working a bit.

Not that there’s a lot of that when you haven’t been on the bike in weeks, another victim of the holidays.

On Monday, though, I installed the new computers on our bikes. Now we’ll now just how bad at this we are! (Hint: Bad.)

The Yankee had two flats. It was one of those days.

At one point I was tucked in behind her, but went around because the time was right. We were about to hit a stretch where I perform slightly better than she does. There was a car coming, which is not where I want to be putting brakes to wheels. So I kicked.

And for one glorious, brief, sprinting, downhill, mass-forward, aerodynamically-tucked moment, I hit 37.6 miles per hour. If I could keep up that pace for 4,231 I might have been competitive in the 1987 Tour de France. The race has gotten a bit faster since then.

But I only rode 17 miles today, clearly there’s some work to be done. But that’s what tomorrow is for.

We made dinner to the Beatles, ate over the bowl game.

Somewhere along the way we put away clothes that will be donated. We ordered four pictures for over the fireplace. I found a new water filter for the refrigerator. It was a perfectly low key evening.

Finally answered one of the many nagging questions of my faulty childhood memory. It was a Woolco. The town I grew up in had a Zayre’s and one of the W stores in what I think of as the place’s two original strip malls. I could never recall if it was a Woolworth or a Woolco, though. Woolworth, you might remember, was one of the original American five-and-dime stores. They slipped in the 1980s and disappeared entirely in 1997. (Now their existing properties are the struggling Foot Locker entities.

Woolco, on the other hand, was their discount store. Think about that: the discount of store of a five-and-dime shop. I don’t remember much about it, I couldn’t even remember which name the store had. Woolco died in 1982, so I guess that’s when that store went away. Soon after Wal-Mart moved into that spot.

Not too much longer after that the Zayre’s down the street shut their doors. K-Mart went in there.

After a few years Wal-Mart moved three miles down the road to the interstate and a new Supercenter. There’s a Big Lots where the Wal-Mart and Woolco once operated. A thrift store occupies the place that used to run as Zayre’s and then K-Mart. That entire part of that town has dried up. What was once upon a time the longest lit road east of the Rocky Mountains and, prior to the Great Depression, was intended as the nation’s first freeway is a husk of itself.

For years, though, I’ve wondered: was that a Woolworth or a Woolco?

These are the questions that occupy a preoccupied mind. This all came about because of an essay I read about Best Buy:

Electronics retailer Best Buy is headed for the exits. I can’t say when exactly, but my guess is that it’s only a matter of time, maybe a few more years.

Consider a few key metrics. Despite the disappearance of competitors including Circuit City, the company is losing market share. Its last earnings announcement disappointed investors. In 2011, the company’s stock has lost 40% of its value. Forward P/E is a mere 6.23 (industry average is 10.20). Its market cap down to less than $9 billion. Its average analyst rating, according to The Street.com, is a B-.

Those are just some of the numbers, and they don’t look good. They bear out a prediction in March from the Wall Street Journal’s Heard on the Street column, which forecast “the worst is yet to come” for Best Buy investors. With the flop of 3D televisions and the expansion of Apple’s own retail locations, there was no killer product on the horizon that would lift it from the doldrums. Though the company accounts for almost a third of all U.S. consumer electronics purchases, analysts noted, the company remains a ripe target for more nimble competitors.

But the numbers only scratch the surface. To discover the real reasons behind the company’s decline, just take this simple test. Walk into one of the company’s retail locations or shop online. And try, really try, not to lose your temper.

The store goes on, sounding much like Circuit City and Service Merchandise and many others before it. The piece also included a Wikipedia list of defunct American stores that started between the 1920s and 1950s and now out of business, either consolidated, liquidated or folded. It is a great list for nostalgia.

The only thing I remember buying at that store is maybe some superhero-themed clothing. I wanted a digital watch, I remember distinctly, but my parents wouldn’t buy it for me. I needed to learn the analog watch first, they said. It was a good lesson.

I almost never misread my watch today.

The clock display on my bike’s new computer? Digital in every way.


3
Jan 12

I did not use the tape

Lovely day. Even the Committee on Greatest Day Ever, which meets quadrennially in a secure location in the Pyrenees, will be required to consider it for an international honorable mention. It only gets the purple ribbon because it is an especially cold day. This is unnecessary, and will be waited-out until a pleasant April day comes along.

Late breakfast at the Barbecue House, where the place was empty and thus the hash browns were plentiful. Mr. Price, if you’re keeping track, is back to not remembering me. He asked if we needed a menu. No thanks, I’ll just have the usual.

Stopped by world headquarters of The War Eagle Reader. We visited with one of Jeremy’s daughters, talked about tomorrow’s stories today and met Torch, official co-cat:

Torch

Later I visited Lowe’s, because they’ve offended me less than Home Depot. (The next time I need a hardware part I’ll visit Home Depot, because I hit up Lowe’s this time.) I needed to address an issue in the kitchen sink. Not the sink itself, but an attachment, that retractable spray hose. Not the spray hose, though, but rather the little plastic circle bracket it rests in.

The old one cracked in two before the holidays. I removed all of the cleaning supplies that live under the sink, crawled inside, reached around and through the various pipes and traced the hose up to where it attaches to the plumbing. There was no easy way to get to it, everything was by feel and felt awkward in every way. This was not going to be an easy task.

So at Lowe’s I walked around with the Confused Looked of Resignation until someone in a vest stumbled across my path. I’d been in three sections by then, when he asked “Can I help you find something?” I was surrounded by sinks at the time, but this was the wrong place to find a sink accessory attachment, which was four aisles away.

The good news, the gentleman told me, was that this is attached at the hose, not under the sink. That’s much better. But you have to buy both the nozzle and the flange. Used to be, he said, that you could buy just the flange, but no more. I picked up the cheapest one, which almost matched the one in our kitchen thinking, That might explain somethings.

There are instructions inside. On the outside it says you’ll need an adjustable wrench, adjustable pliers, needle nose pliers and pipe thread tape. I have the tools, or can make do, but I needed the tape. Found it two aisles over, nearer the sinks, so things are well organized. The tape cost $1.06.

Got home, where we had company. Visited for a while, talking of football and jobs and weddings and things.

Later we visited Target, where we received a gift card for Christmas. We decided to pick up frames and continue the house decorating. We walked out with seven frames, two of them will hold a trip we took to San Francisco four years ago. We framed a lithograph from Rome and two pieces from Greece, from our honeymoon two years ago. Good prints take time, you know. You have to study these things, consider them for taste and durability, before you commit them to a frame.

And then, like later tonight, there’s the pulling out the paper examples, replacing the mattes, cleaning the glass and making it all fit together again. And then there’s the difficulty of finding the proper wall. Where will the sun accentuate the proper setting? Will the ceiling fan reflect off this frame?

These are difficult questions.

Anyway. Saw this at Target:

Sign

In one swift, 8×10 motion the designer managed to offend at least two different groups of people. Keeping calm having to do with the Blitz, rocking on antithetical to the stiff upper lip of the English establishment. But when rock has become over-produced pop, and with rocking on now meaning a third thing entirely, we’re really just dumbing down the argument. There is no need, the artist suggests, to understand the origin of these expressions, their historical antecedents and how these two things are actually tied together by pushing against one another. Just appreciate the juxtaposition and this wicked awesome line art of a Flying V. And so it will be that a 13-year-old will have a cute, possibly ironic mantra for the Twilight generation.

Later still I returned to the sink fixture. Turned off the water, made the source pipe leak. Emptied the entire two cabinets in a hurry, mopped up the water, fixed the leak and carried on. The instructions tell you to remove the old sprayer, but not how. (It unscrews. Not to worry, though: I have an advanced education.)

Popped off the little clamp, removed the washers. Dropped one washer down the sink, where it fell perfectly through the drain.

Pull the hose out of the sink, putting the flange in place, feeding the hose back through. Insert the new washers, apply the new clamp. Screw on the new nozzle, turn on the water, give everything a try.

It works!

And then I completed reorganized the things under the cabinet.

Thing I’ll take the pipe thread tape back to the store. It never appeared in the directions, nor did any of the wrenches or pliers, so now I’ll be awake all night wondering if I’ve managed to manufactured by own leaky faucet.

Even still, wonderful day.


2
Jan 12

Glomeratas

The Glomerata is the annual yearbook of my alma mater, Auburn University. This feature on the site gives a quick glance at the often beautiful and sometimes curious covers of the book, which I collect.

Glomerata76

At this point in the Glomerata feature section we exit the 1970s and step cautiously into the 1980s. In the judging a book by its aesthetic cover as an aesthetic, this is approaching a strange time. But we’ll journey on, undaunted. Mostly because you don’t know what’s coming up. Oh, sure, these next three are fairly sedate as these things go. But soon … soon we find one of the series most surprising outliers.

But that’s for next week. Go here for today’s installments. Visit here for the entire section of Glom covers. Try here for some more in-depth looks at various years.


2
Jan 12

A day of football

Slept in, mostly because I stayed up late. I stayed up late mostly because I didn’t fell well the night before. Something I’d eaten didn’t agree with me. When that unpleasantness passed me by I slipped under an electric blanket for a hibernation.

And so then there was a lot of football today. Somewhere along the way Ross Collings started examining Georgia’s big game performances in recent years. That turned into this long bout of schedule staring.

This is what I did during breaks in the football action today: the complete SEC story of victories against teams that finished in the top 25 of the BCS for the years between 2008-2011.

They are sorted by the most successful program against their opponents in terms of raw wins – no style points, home/away, injuries, upsets or other considerations have been made. Each school has a list of the year of the game, the team they defeated and that opponent’s final BCS ranking of that season.

All efforts have been made to keep this accurate, but your eyes get dizzy looking through 14 teams’ four years of scheduling. No, seriously, have a look. The source links for the BCS rankings are below. If you find any errors, write them in the comments.

As you can see, LSU has had an impressive run, particularly the last two years. They’re neck and neck with Alabama. In fact, the best part of the upcoming BCS title game is that it will break a tie between the two programs. Auburn is next in terms of wins over BCS ranked opponents. Not bad when you consider that we’re talking about 2008-2011 here.

LSU**
2008: Georgia Tech (14)
2010: Alabama (16)
2010: Texas A&M (17)
2010: Miss State (21)
2010: West Virginia (22)
2011: Alabama (2)
2011: Oregon (5)
2011: Arkansas (6)
2011: Georgia (16)
2011: West Virginia (23)
2011: Auburn (25)
**LSU and Alabama meet for the perfunctory rematch on Jan. 9.

Alabama**
2008: Georgia (15)
2008: Mississippi (25)
2009: Texas (2)
2009: Florida (5)
2009: Virginia Tech (11)
2009: LSU (12)
2010: Arkansas (8)
2010: Michigan State (9)
2010: Miss State (21)
2011: Arkansas (6)
2011: Auburn
**LSU and Alabama meet for the perfunctory rematch on Jan. 9.

Auburn
2009: West Virginia (16)
2010: Arkansas (8)
2010: Oregon (2)
2010: LSU (11)
2010: Alabama (16)
2010: South Carolina (20)
2010: South Carolina (20) SECCG
2010: Miss State (21)
2011: South Carolina (9)

Arkansas*
2010: LSU (11)
2010: Texas A&M (17)
2010: Miss State (21)
2011: South Carolina (9)
2011: Auburn (25)
*Hogs play BCS #8 Kansas State on Jan. 6.

Florida
2008: Oklahoma (1)
2008: Alabama (4)
2008: Georgia (15)
2009: Cincinnati (3)
2009: LSU (12)

South Carolina
2008: Mississippi (25)
2010: Alabama (16)
2011: Clemson (15)
2011: Nebraska (20)

Ole Miss
2008: Florida (2)
2008: Texas Tech (7)
2009: LSU (12)
2009: Oklahoma State (19)

Georgia
2008: Michigan State (18)
2009: Georgia Tech (9)
2011: Auburn (25)

Missouri
2008: Northwestern (23)
2010: Texas A&M (17)
2010: Oklahoma (7)

Texas A&M
2010: Oklahoma (7)
2010: Nebraska (18)
2011: Baylor (12)

Vanderbilt
2008: Mississippi (25)
2008: Boston College (24)

Kentucky
2010 Carolina (20)

Tennessee
None

Mississippi State
None

This would look very pretty, and reveal something, I’m sure, if you put it in the appropriate type of chart or infographic.

Update: The War Eagle Reader has picked this list up, too.

Also I added a CatEye computer to my bike today. This was a thoughtful Christmas gift from The Yankee and, in that spirit, I attached it in that spirit. I’m never good at building or installing the first of something. Sure, there are instructions, but there’s always some detail missing, or an extra part that psyches me out, or a missing part whose absence can defeat even the heartiest of spirits. Or, more to the point, some small thing I didn’t notice in the illustration.

This computer requires a magnet on the spokes, a sensor attached to the fork no more than five millimeters away, and then the computer itself, attached in a four-part ceremony to the handlebars. The computer must be no more than 70 millimeters away from the sensor, and the back of the computer must be facing the sensor. And, also, it must spend at least 48 percent of each lunar cycle pointing to magnetic north.

All but one of those facts are true.

So there was first the incorrect installation of the sensor on the fork. Then there was struggling through the computer, programming the clock, tire circumference and the always troubling 12-hour or 24-hour setup. Then there was mounting the computer in the four-part handlebar bracket, which was its own series of curiosities. After which I discovered I couldn’t remove the computer from the bracket.

A few engineers were consulted and we finally concluded that our instincts are wrong and sometimes you must force it.

So now the sensor, the magnetic it is detecting for movement and the computer are all mounted. I pick up the front wheel and spun it, the first test to see if the computer and sensor are communicating. One of the LCD elements in the crystal should be flashing.

It is not.

The first troubleshooting element is the sensor and magnet configuration. They must be no more than five millimeters apart. Not six, because that is not in the Holy Book of Armaments. So I nudged over the senor a bit closer to the magnet mounted on the spokes. Pick up the bike, spin the wheel, the LCD flashes. The computer works.

This should have taken about six minutes. It took me the better half of one half of a football game.

So the first time is always a challenge. It could have been that I was working from the Korean instructions. Next time I’ll use the English version.

The second time was a breeze. I installed the same computer on her bike. It was done in no time flat. Now we are ready to ride and see, truly, how fast — or slow — we are going. And, of course, if you’re dissatisfied with the speed you can always reprogram the computer’s understanding of your tire circumference.

So you can imagine why digging up that list of football victories above was a good way to spend a windy evening. There’s an impressive, and thankfully temporary cold front blowing in just now. We won’t break 40 degrees tomorrow. I’ll try out my new cycling computer on Wednesday.