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5
Sep 12

A cute dog is found below

Any day that starts with fruit and grading can’t be bad, right? I think so. Also, apple slices are delicious.

I’m a phase eater. Sometimes I eat a lot. And then, for a brief while, I’ll eat very little. There’s nothing consistent about it, except when I’m in the habit of eating the same things over and over. Lately I’ve been on a fruit kick, which is not particularly interesting to anyone but me, and only then given how many bad-for-me things I typically ingest.

There is a boy in my family who apparently reminds me of me — how he talks and walks and laughs — and I think, “Poor kid.” And then I text his mother and say “If he is like me tell him to study harder and eat fewer candy bars.”

“Enjoy more grapes.”

So I had a small fruit tray for breakfast and graded quizzes this morning. I had lunch with one of our recent grads. We had barbecue, my first ever trip to Saw’s. It is a small little place in a roadside strip mall. There are maybe eight tables inside, we had the corner window. The lady at the register is managing chaos, but thanks everyone who writes out a tip. It doesn’t feel particularly clean, but you can’t make respectable barbecue in a place that aces the health code rules.

A young man brings out your lunch on paper plates. They leave you alone otherwise, despite the lunch crowd and the few tables. There are framed newspaper articles and magazine covers on every inch of the walls. There are license plates above the doors. It is all a thin and perfectly random homage to a sub-genre of food.

Longtime readers know barbecue would be the center of all of my food streaks if it were actually healthy. All things in moderation though, even slow cooked, pulled pork.

Back on campus I had a brief meeting with the editor to discuss distribution patterns and then a visit with my chair, who’s the nicest guy around, and some students about various student things. I wrote plenty of emails.

The guy that can fix my office phone called my cell. He stopped by near the end of the day. This is what he did: glanced at my phone, followed the path of the two cords coming out of it with his eyes, picked one up and plugged it into the wall.

The phone paused, lit up and turned on.

Naturally, I feel like a dope. Turns out he’d had to do some electrical work in a panel in a Jeffries tube somewhere in the building. He did that after I called to complain that my phone wouldn’t work. I didn’t know that, and hadn’t thought to test the highly technical technique of plugging the phone back in to see if it was working this week where it did not last week.

So I spent a few minutes playing with the settings. Turns out you can run your computer off this phone. You can both phone home and phone the Internet from this Cisco IP device. It does not have the ringtone from 24, however. I’m sure there’s a way to do — yes there is.

The engineer that fixed the phone left his notebook in my office. It looked important, so I called his office and someone was still there. He answered his phone, on this same server networked phone. Sounded like he was standing in my doorway.

Pin drop nothing, I could hear the creases in his slacks settling.

So I walked the book over, because this is one thing the phone won’t do. The phone guy will thank me in the morning.

He’ll send an email, no doubt.

Hot day today, even into the evening. I believe she had the right idea:

dogpaddling

She does it, her owner said, more than he would like. But the fountains at Samford are just so tempting.

Burr and Forman, by the way, are not buried beneath that fountain. That is a large regional law firm. Some 55 of their lawyers graduated from Samford with their undergrad or with their JD from Cumberland.

Two things to read on the student blog. Steve Yelvington dives into what drives local media traffic and Alan Mutter discusses how Apple and Google are threatening local mobile providers.

Do follow that Crimson blog if you like journalism and think pieces. Also Twitter and Tumblr


3
Aug 12

What do ladders, Olympics and football have in common?

I have older memories. I remember a few things that happened in the place where we lived when I was four. That’s about where it starts for me. And it is increasingly foggy up until about … I dunno … 15 minutes ago.

Sometimes I wonder about the false memories. The oldest memory I have, as I have described it, didn’t actually exist. We never lived in a place with a yard like that, I’m told. Did I see Empire Strikes Back in the theater? Or was it a re-release of the original Star Wars? Do I remember the I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke campaign? It started long before I was born, but did it run long enough for me to eventually notice? Or was that some reproduction?

Picking out what is right and what is wrong on the conveyor belt of your brain is like pulling getting that one bad grape. Squishy and bitter. And it puts you ill at ease about the next grape, too. Ancient memory is a tricky thing, but for as long as I can recall I’ve wanted bookshelves with a ladder attached to them:

ladder

I have a lot of books. We turned a room in our home into a library. It has a fireplace. This is serious. We have bookshelves in other rooms because there isn’t enough room in the library. And yet we still don’t have enough books for the bookshelf ladders. You can’t have one. You need at least two. That’s the mark of a good library.

I saw that one in a bookstore today. We hit two today, after a late breakfast. I found the book I wanted at the second bookstore. It wasn’t on the shelf at the first place, but I did see an employee playing checkers on his computer. It was slow. Bookstores here will pick up in the next few days, though, when the college kids come back to town.

You know who doesn’t come back? Anything to Olympic venues. Surf around and you’ll find plenty of complaints about facilities rusting away in Beijing or going to seed in Greece. Apparently they aren’t even showing up to begin with in London:

After a week of unusually quiet streets, idling cabs and easily navigated shops, fears of the Gridlock Games have transformed into complaints about the Ghost Town Olympics.

Experts say tens of thousands of foreign tourists without tickets to the Olympic Games appear to have decided to skip London, bowing to official warnings of stifling overcrowding — a forecast that ignored the lessons of other Olympic host cities that have emptied out during the Games over the past 20 years. In even larger numbers, these experts say, Britons themselves, including tens of thousands who normally commute to work in London, have heeded official appeals and stayed home.

Aside from that timeless crutch of the lazy journalist, “experts say” there are plenty of lessons here. The biggest two are maybe it is a good thing Chicago didn’t get the Games. Maybe bids should be limited to cities with the venues already in place or cities … elsewhere. Boondoogle: not in my backyard.

By the way. I wrote last week about Auburn’s first Olympians. Here is a picture of the first one, Snitz Snyder, taken from the 1928 Glomerata.

SnitzSnyder

He ran in the 400 meter race in 1928. If he had the race of his life — the race he qualified with was a national record, 48 seconds — he might have made the medal stand. For comparison: the world record in 1928 was 47 seconds and the U.S. record today is 43.18.

Snyder came home and became a legendary coach in Bessemer, Ala. He has a football stadium named after him today. The gentleman standing next to him is the great track coach Wilbur Hutsell. The Auburn track and field facilities are named in his honor.

I did a bit of hasty counting today. At one point this afternoon Auburn athletes, as a nation, would have ranked 44th on the all time Olympic medal list. The Tigers are coming after YOU, Kazakhstan. This list doesn’t, of course, count the Jimmy Carter 1980 Games. There were a few guys on that U.S. Olympic roster projected to compete for medals in Moscow. Impressive stuff for a university.

One other Olympic note of limited use, the most retweeted thing I wrote on Twitter today: NASA is landing something on a DIFFERENT PLANET and airing it live. Your move, NBC.

You start noticing third party effects when people you’ve never heard of start retweeting you. When you see it more than a few times you start to wonder about it. I ran that Tweet through a tracker and found it reached something like 28,000 accounts. Of course not all of those people were online at the time, but that’s still a nice statistic for a piece of sarcasm. The conclusion, we’re all happy to complain about NBC.

I began following this Smithsonian blog on Tumblr last week. (Follow my Tumblr, too!) They are quick hits, and mostly pictures. I traded out a few other sites for this one. (I’m trying to cut back.) But this one is worth seeing, and this post today proved it. The person that uploaded it asked “What’d be going through your mind in this photo moment?”

I’d be thinking This is the GREATEST thing that has EVER happened to me!

There aren’t enough explanation points in that air tank. I’d suck it down to 200 pounds in no time.

Speaking of photo essays, the best one of the week is from a Birmingham toddler.

It rained today. Hard. Almost like this:

When the real serious rains blow through now we think about the 2009 West Virginia game. I wrote about that and have some nice pictures to memorialize the day. (Rain was in the forecast and I wisely left my big camera at home that night.) We sat in that over-crowded concourse for an awfully long time and I wondering: How many places could you be crushed like this for … almost an hour now and watch all of these people maintain their good spirits? Not many, I’d bet.

Is it football season yet? We’re only about four weeks away …


25
Jul 12

Stitch free

Visited the orthopedic surgeon again for another checkup today. He moved my arm once, glanced at his handiwork, answered three questions, asked two and referenced something we said conversationally when we met two weeks ago.

One of his assistants removed my two cosmetic stitches. They look like fishing line. Removing them was like pulling out one hair by its super-long root. The Yankee pronounced the incision “not as bad as I thought” saying later “it looks like a bad scratch.” And so it does.

Therapy starts in two weeks. I’ll be on my bike on the indoor trainer by then.

I finally got around to taking a few more pictures of my now destroyed bike helmet. The original picture was taken on my wife’s iPhone, side-lit by my friend’s iPhone, when we were all calmly waiting for someone in the emergency room to call my name. Now that I have two hands again, for the most part, I decided to use my real camera for more detail.

[If this is all new to you, here’s the accident, the hospital and the surgery.]

This is the back of the helmet, as seen from above. So you’d be wearing this and facing the top of the frame. The thin plastic aesthetic cover popped right off when I hit the ground. (I brought it home for posterity, but it didn’t suffer any serious damage like you’ll see here.) Note the chunk that the road just sheared off. Part of that is resting beside the helmet:

helmet

Again the back, this time from straight on. See how the upper left and center of the back was ground away? Note the small cracking at the base of the helmet’s back as well. See that crack on the left side? We’ll get to that next:

helmet

Here’s that left-side damage. Hardly a hairline crack:

helmet

This is a little farther up the side, but still on the left. As you’re wearing the helmet this crack would be directly over the left ear. The fracturing only stops at the air vent. Who knows how far it could have gone beyond that in a solid form, like a skull. From these pictures we can surmise that, without the helmet, the crown of my head over to my ear would have been heavily damaged:

helmet

Finally, looking up into the helmet. That’s one-piece, molded crash foam. Look how much it separated:

helmet

Tomorrow I’m going to write about something else, promise. Pictures of other things on Tumblr. Lots more on Twitter.


19
Jul 12

Reflex is a dangerous thing

I had a great day yesterday, coaxing myself into being studiously lazy. This, I thought over and over, will be good for my arm. So I did my little therapy and didn’t overdo it otherwise.

It is easy to overdo it, actually. Even the smallest general exertion can wear me down right now. I suppose that is the surgery and everything that comes with it. Or maybe I just pound the ground when I walk and my shoulder is tired of absorbing things. It feels like there’s a giant water balloon in there. If I fell in a pool right now I’d sink left shoulder first, I’m certain. Between that and being transfixed by the swelling and self conscious about caring for it have entirely changed my self-perception.

I talked with some of the little kids in my family on the phone today. Yes, I’m OK. No, I’m not in the hospital. Yes, I had surgery. Yeah, that hurt a bit. The helmet kept me from having truly horrendous, medical problems and I am very lucky, so wear your helmet, kiddos. This is my role to the next generation in the family, serving as a cautionary tale.

They asked me if I’d come ride with them at their house when I could. Of course I will. But for now I have to take it easy and rest and do everything one-handed and so on.

And then I was making myself a little grape snack later in the evening. I rinsed off the beautiful green treats and dropped them in a mug. I overfilled the mug and the last three grapes rolled off the mound, onto the counter and ultimately the floor. Naturally I reached out to try to catch them. Of course my left hand was the closest. And this produced the most remarkable pain in my shoulder and collarbone, the site of my Monday surgical procedure.

grapes

I spent the next few seconds yelling, and the next few moments remembering to breathe. Finally I had to look at the incision. Did I tear it? No. Did I break something? I don’t think so, there’s titanium in there now, after all, but still, this sensation … Did it hurt?

For four hours.

So, no, I’m not going to write about this every day. I’ll deliberately find other things to write about because I know you don’t care that much. But it is important to remember: don’t do that. Sometimes you have to allow yourself to lose a little produce. Moving without thinking can be a remarkably painful thing.

At least I can sleep in my bed again. Did that for the first time since I wrecked. And I slept about six hours last night, which might also be the best rest I’ve had in a week. Between that and already feeling improvements, morale is definitely high.

We walked around outside for a few minutes today talking about trees and shade and wondering why our elm sheds so much. If ever you need kindling, we can set you up. How there’s any tree left up in the canopy is a mystery.

Brian stopped by for a few minutes, on the way from here to there. He did not want to see my incision — not that I blame him — but we of course discussed the recovery since he was there two weeks ago for the injury.

Also this evening we visited the little vegetable store this that is tacked onto one of the plant nurseries in town. I took a lot of quick pictures there to post later on the Tumblr blog. I finished uploading the discarding fishing lures I found on the pier at Orange Beach there today, so it needs new content.

So be sure to surf over to my Tumblr and check that out. And if those pictures don’t captivate you, there’s always Twitter.

More, as they say, tomorrow!


17
Jul 12

Fall risk: a warning, a memento

I woke up at 6:26 this morning. I know this because at 6:30 it was time for another dose of Lortab. My lovely bride had woken up punctually every four hours to give me the good stuff. We ignored the Ibuprofen dosages during the overnight, because that would have meant waking up every two hours. And one of us, we figured, should get some sleep.

Clearly my collarbone and greater shoulder area were ready for their next painkiller before the clock said I should be. But that’s OK. I had the chance to open the blinds and watch the sun play on the tangerine bonsai tree that Kelly sent us.

I considered the fate of my medical bracelets.

fallrisk

The white one, with the names and hospital UPC codes, is coming off. So is the red one, which warns the medical staff of allergies. The yellow one though … considering how I got here … well it seems appropriate.

The nurse told me yesterday that everyone that gets sedation gets the yellow bracelet. I think I’ll put it on my bike when I can finally hit the road again and wear it with pride.

The surgeon was right: I’m hurting today, but I feel a bit better today than I have since I broke my collarbone. I’m taking painkillers precisely on schedule, don’t get me wrong, but the post-operation pain is less and different than the post-accident pain.

The downside to this injury, I’m guessing, is that it becomes a very boring recovery. You sit and don’t overtax yourself. You rest a lot. You don’t hold things in your hand before rehab. You try not to wear on the nerves of the people around you. So I’m resolved to celebrate every highlight.

We got a Harry & David box, a thoughtful gift from dear friends. (A night we don’t have to cook!)

I received the kindest Get Well email from someone I don’t even know:

Regardless of your topic you are a joy to read. Thus, having learned of your recent accident, I want you to know that I’m thinking of you.

Please feel better soon . . . very, very soon . . .

Wasn’t that thoughtful?

I moved from the arm chair … to the sofa! I’ve been in the chair, even sleeping in it, for a week. (A great half hour of variety!)

I stood up for about 20 minutes. And then my arm insisted I sit down. (More variety!)

The Yankee got me an awesome Get Well gift, a CycleOps indoor trainer. (I can ride while hurt!)

She wouldn’t let me use it today, though.

The final highlight, just like at 6:26 this morning: more Lortab.

Back on Twitter today. Returning to Tumblr tomorrow.