02
Sep 25

First day of classes

I’m tired. It’s the sort of tired it might take several long days and nights of sleep to overcome. It may be that I am reaching the end of the ability to stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning and get up the next day and feel relatively normal. I wonder if that’s a product of getting older. I think of it that way. Maybe that’s common, I’m getting too old for this… Though I wonder if it’s something else. I’m not getting enough vitamin C for this … or I need more vegetables … or I can’t do this at sea level …

Anything but the amount of sleep I get and being human, I guess. But now, I am convinced, this will get a bit better. That’s probably foolish, but it feels true.

Today was the first day of class. My lovely bride has one class on Tuesdays and I have two. I drove her to one side of campus and dropped her off so that she can do her magical classroom thing. I drove over to the other side of campus, parked the car — fifth floor of the parking deck, a midday treat! — and sat in the office for a while, getting the feel of office hours for the semester.

At 2 p.m. I went downstairs and started class, a new class. It is Criticism of Sport Media, and the class filled almost instantly when enrollment started in the spring. This is the one I’ve been fretting over weeks and weeks. It could be a good class, and now, finally, we’ll find out.

I think that’s what a lot of the last six weeks or two months or so has been about — and certainly the last few long nights — the long, slow, plan, worry and wait. It’s a strange thing. Sometime back, about two years and change ago, I filled the better part of a notebook with class ideas. One of my mandates is to create classes, so that’s just a part of it. Sometime last fall I had a series of meetings and the result was that I spouted out a few of those new class ideas. We ended up settling on one for the fall. I’ve thought about it for a year, planned it out since the spring and drilled into the details all summer long. Somewhere along the way I whittled it down to worry, leaving just enough time in the last week or so to stir up a good bout of self-doubt.

More than once I was told I was overthinking things.

It’s a wonderful job, but you must work your way into that part of it.

Imposter syndrome, I think, never goes away.

We had an interesting conversation around the office about it today. The department chair was telling someone about first day nerves. Those never go away, either — how long as that guy been doing this? The Yankee and I were talking about it on the drive in, too. She said it takes her a few weeks to get through it. I figure if things go well through this week I’ll be fine. Ordinarily that’s the case, but new classes, in my experience, are always an adventure.

It all went well enough today, but it’s syllabus day. So long as you remember your wardrobe, make sure the right slides are on the screen and the power stays on syllabus day is a success.

I have a second class right after the first. It is conveniently located in the same room. And four students from the first class, the criticism class, are in the second class, an org comm class. And those poor guys had to listen to the same syllabus day song and dance twice.

One asked, is the syllabus the same in this class as the other?

No, that syllabus is four pages. This one is five.

So, we are through syllabus day, and underway. Thursday, when these classes both meet again, we’ll concentrate on building up a little conversation. Common ground in sport, what these classes are all about, and all of that. Next week we’ll really dive in.

If I don’t rewrite all the lectures again, for the eleventieth time.

I’m not doing that tonight, though. Tonight, I must highlight the kitties. They are, after all, the most popular feature on this website. And they know it.

The other night a moth got into the house. It was flying around the kitchen, and Phoebe found it. She followed it into the far corner.

I like to think that that moth looked down and said, “Aww, cute!” That’s what I would do.

And then the moth probably met its doom.

Seriously, insects, when you sneak in, I’m trying to escort you out for your own good.

Poseidon found something; I have no idea what he was staring at. Nothing was on the wall, but he sat in his tunnel, as he often does, for a long while. And he peered out like this for some time.

Any insect that saw this staring back would instinctively know what to do.

The kitties are doing fine. They are a bit indignant for how long they were left alone today. I wonder if they pick up on habits. We’ll be working from home all day tomorrow, but then out of their site on Thursday, but back again, pecking away in our home offices on Friday. Will they notice that in a few weeks? Will we?


01
Sep 25

Happy Labor Day

Welcome to September. And to fall. And the semester. Anything else? Everything else. And so long summer. Except for the second summer, which is here for a time. Second summer, a mild, brief, way to overwrite the memory of the heat wave and the sweats you didn’t ask for. Quite, slow and mild, give me three or five months of 70s and 80s and I’ll be ready for spring. In this way we can also overwrite the season that actually offends in favor of a sequence of days and weeks and months of weather just like this. Who needs a winter anyhow?

Sometimes it’s easy to miss a subtle joy of spring, overlook an earnest day of summer, or the calm and thoughtful afternoon of fall for dreading what comes next. It’s a shortcoming; being aware of it doesn’t solve the problem. I guess one day I should find ways to enjoy the winter.

Thinking of it somehow just highlights the problem.

I mean, here I am, going on and on about that on a perfect mid-year day, the beginning of a beautiful September, which was hearkened forth by the beautiful end of August. A day which, just a bit ago, I was outside watering plants, covering the grill, and counting my blessings: health, a peaceful day, a delicious dinner, and so on. Everyone should have those things.

This was the view from the backyard, while the grill was going.

And while we had perfectly made steaks, we also enjoyed our own fresh-grown okra. Took all season, and we got one large meal out of the yield. Worth it.

Today, being the first day of the month, means cleaning the computer, updating some files, building new subdirectories, and so on. One of those little tasks is tracking the site data. August, for some reason, had the most visits in the 21 years of the website. I don’t know why people keep coming back, but I’m glad they do.

And also the bots, I suppose, but I appreciate the people more. So thanks for being here.

We had a bike ride with Miles, the neighbor, on Saturday. They dropped me near the end, but I took this shot 30-some miles.

Ours was a morning ride, which is unusual. Especially after the fact. There was a full day still to go. There are so many things to discover about early mornings. Rediscover, actually. I did morning drive for about a decade and, years later, I am still revolting against the notion of early alarms.

I went for a solo ride this evening, a much more normal time for a bike ride, if you ask me. And no wonder, look at these views. This is some farm land not far from the house. I wonder if they put in any okra this year.

I missed the perfect shot here as I pedaled along, but there is also a little cut out in the treeline, and I knew it was coming. So I framed up the sun. Not a bad composition for off-the-hip soft pedaling. Just staying upright and getting close to the photo you want is sometimes a thing. Putting the sun between those trees in the foreground and the trees in the background, simultaneously? That’s real talent.

Along that same road, the tree, the moon, the chip and seal.

And just over that hill is a beautiful old swayback Appaloosa, enjoying dinner.

You wonder if horses ever look at sunsets. You wonder what they think about when they do.

Classes start tomorrow. Guess I better figure out what I’m going to talk about, huh?


30
Aug 25

The steps we take

It never ceases to amaze me how the foundational stuff comes together just in time. Life will through you all manner of curve balls, of course, but if you know what needs to get done and know how long you’ve got to do it, you can can usually get it in. Maybe it’s a touch or a feel or just an overdoing it. Anyway, here, just four days before classes begin, I can see the path to the finish line, which is actually the starting line.

And if that starts to sound like I’m re-trodding the same trodden land, you’re probably right.

I’m not sure what I’ve done that hasn’t been done or re-done. I do know what is left to do.

Anyway, this afternoon I compiled master sheets for departmental social media, which is a role I was recently asked to take on. Two of my colleagues had the job, and they supervised a student who ran the socials. My colleagues are extremely busy, and this took something off their plate, and I’m happy to help. So I learned over the summer that the department’s social media began with a real go-getter student. But she graduated. The nerve. We have another student running the bulk of the content creation now, but she graduates this December.

And this is where I draw on my 15 years of student media. The first task is to build institutional history. So master sheets. All the passwords. Baseline analytics. Consistent messaging. The second task is my learning from the student we have working on this project right now. And then we’ll have to hire a new one, because students graduate.

The nerve.

Yesterday, I talked with the chair briefly about what we want out of this role. It was enough to let us know we should talk at a bit more length about it. Today, I had a meeting with someone in the alumni office about their social media efforts, because we think that one of our secondary audiences might be our alumni.

Then I wrote a bunch of emails. And then updated my syllabi with last minute YOU MUST INCLUDE info.

And then I wrote and rewrote and rewrote again my first message for my online class.

Tomorrow I’ll polish some things in my in-person classes — which will be the sort of thing I do all weekend. I’ll also have to update my PowerPoint templates because in today’s meeting I learned that a logo we’ve been using since August 1st is now obsolete. And this is where you become aware that the re-trodding is really just your tripping all over yourself.

There are many delightful seasons that come to you when you linger around a hydrangea. The budding and the burst of leaves are the first. Then, of course there are all of the moments surrounding the flowering petals. Ours are white, and they’re brilliant in their moment. One of the two troubling stories a hydrangea will tell is when the rains come. Ours grow so big that they held more water than they can shed. The weight bends the branches bend over and that’s the way they’ll stay, even if they eventually do dry out. It’s a lasting story. But it yields to this surprisingly lovely one.

The Yankee cut some of the flowering stems. Watching the delicate ways the colors change is an unexpected treat.

And I guess those colors are a theme. Because look at this accidental photo I took. I don’t even know when it happened. What do you suppose is out of focus here? What’s that different color in the bottom corner? And is this even oriented correctly?

We enjoyed some local corn this evening. Fresh off the stalk, fresh off the farm, fresh off the grill.

We have three months that make for real seasonal change, and we’ll, very soon, be in one of them. When we reconvene on Monday it’ll somehow be September. Who is ready for that?

If you, like me, aren’t ready for that, don’t miss a moment of the weekend.

Ehhh, that’s good advice every weekend.


28
Aug 25

A day long meeting

We had a faculty meeting today. The full department, reunited. The chair had put together a nine-page agenda. That’s a lot to get through! He’s masterful at pulling this together. He knew exactly where to put the lunch break on such a large document, and we got to that moment precisely at lunch time. He also honors the scheduled ends of his meetings. This one was slated to run from 9:30 to 2:30 p.m., and no matter what, you know you’re going to be done at 2:30.

Hitting a hard out on a five hour meeting with all of the sidebars and non-sequiturs that come with a bunch of professors is a bit of magic. The guy has mastered it.

Still and all, that’s a full day, especially after the optional social hour that followed.

Here was a little note card I found in the classroom we were in.

I wonder if that applies to all of us. Can I refer to that on a day when my class plans don’t come off as well as I’d hoped? “This was the best me today. I remembered that!”

Anything but work is the theme of the social hour, which of course devolves to pedagogy or theory because it’s a room full of people that think about that stuff incessantly.

There’s a school of thought that you should take part in these with great interest. See and be seen. Collegiality and all of that. Another good reason is that there are still people in this department I don’t know especially well. So today I learned all about one fellow’s vacation-slash-retirement home he’s working on in Mexico, and someone else’s recent hiking adventures.

We left in time to enjoy some of the evening daylight, so it truly was a full day on campus. (We’re not even working yet, and yet.)

Not too long after I got home I found a nice little headache, and so I spent the evening bumbling around, rather than being productive or otherwise exercising. There’s always tomorrow for one, or both of those things.


27
Aug 25

Pump me up

We’re coming to it now, he said with a cosmic blend of emotions — excitement, lament, worry, stress, the weary desire for a nap, fear of returning to a schedule, the optimism of returning to a schedule, paralysis by analysis and others. I am excited for the new semester, which begins next week. But that means the summer is almost over, which is a sadness, but a real lament that that also means the actual, meteorological summer is almost over. And did I do enough with it? Probably not, because of the worry and stress of the upcoming semester and all the new classes.

Prep is a word I’ve used something like nine times here in the last month, and thought about constantly. I am doing new class preps seven, eight and nine this term. I have been here four terms so far. So there’s your worry and stress.

Which leads us right into the desire for a nap. That or my poor sleep habits. I am not a very good sleeper. And that’s also figuring into the summer laments. Worse, it is a very small concern when considering a proper schedule. But this is a low buzz rather than a blaring klaxon. My entire adult life I have lived in fear of the alarm clock: what if I miss it. As such, getting out the door each day is usually one of the day’s biggest challenges. So, in that way, I’m fortunate.

There’s also the fortune that comes with a return to a schedule. No more planning. Just doing. Which is great because I’ve been thinking about how one of these classes should work for … I dunno, seven eight months now. Paralysis by analysis.

And there’s this weird, irrational belief: when the semester starts, I’ll actually have more time to figure out all the unknowns. That seems like the desperate bargaining of a desperately bargaining mind, no? But, again. No more planning. Just doing.

Doing much more. Aye, there’s the rub.

Tomorrow we have a day-long faculty meeting.

Tuesday, when classes begin, we’ll actually be under contract.

Today, I went to a different kind of meeting. I’m on a county-wide committee, which of course is part of my “service to the community.” This is a traffic safety thing. On the way, I drove down Main Street.

No kidding, that’s the name of that road.

When I tell people it’s a lot like home, that is a road I drove down today.

Today’s meeting was about implementing some traffic improvement and traffic calming elements at historically dangerous spots. It’s all done based on data which acknowledges that funds and grants are finite, and not every street we have emotional, dangerous, encounters on are at the top of the list. It’s a round-and-round sort of argument. But the implementation here is one part structural, road engineering, and one part psychological, human engineering, which is how they came to invite me to the thing. I suppose they were running low on options.

But at one point, a fellow down at the other end of the table, a county higher up, said “Perhaps the gentleman from Rowan … ” and pointed at me.

So, you bet, this is service to the community, and it sits proudly on my vita. Which I need to update.

When I got home, having driven down that bustling main street once again, we went for a bike ride. It was a slight variation of my 25-mile time trial. And I had good legs today. Moving so fast was I that I did not see the driveway gravel that had leaked into a road. I hit it hard, knew it right away and thought If I still have air pressure in a quarter of a mile I’ll be OK.

I did not have air pressure in a quarter of a mile. But I was OK. So I stood in someone’s yard — not for the first time this year — replacing a tube. My sixth of the year. Or maybe my eighth.

So I did the whole thing, removed the wheel from the frame, pulled the tire of the wheel, slipped the tube out from the tire. I spent a long time running my fingers over the wheel and inside the tube, just to make sure nothing was inside there. Which seems silly since I knew it was a handful of stone just down the street.

I put the tire back on the wheel, and then tucked the tube inside the tire, then folded the other side of the tire inside the wheel. All that was left to do is inflate it.

I carry a handheld pump in my jersey pocket. It’ll inflate a tire about halfway, and give you an unanticipated arm workout at the same time. It’s fine enough in a pinch. If I can get it working it will put enough air in the tube to get you home, but the ride is basically over.

So last, month, I bought an electric pump. It fits neatly in your pocket. You put it on the valve, press one button and, supposedly it inflates the tube. It is said the thing holds a charge for months, and that you can basically inflate two tubes on one charge. I’ve been carrying it for weeks, almost forgot about it, but then realized, this is the perfect time to try it. If it doesn’t work, I can get home in just three miles using the old hand pump. I dug the electric one out of my pocket, put it on the valve, pressed the button and waited a second or so for it to come to life. Then it hummed, vibrated slightly, and filled the tire up right away

I am impressed.

I didn’t fill it to capacity, because I wanted to have some extra juice in the thing for later if necessary. Even still, it was vastly superior to the hand pump. Faster, and more air pressure, and it allowed me to continue the planned route, rather than limping home. I was only four miles behind my lovely bride, which meant the whole thing, from stopping to starting, took about 12 or 13 minutes. It would have taken much longer, and been more frustrating, if I’d only had the hand pump.

I stopped a bit later to put a bit more air in the tube. And it was then that I resolved to buy about a dozen more of these little pumps, have a bandolier made and wear them across my chest, like some old western warlord.

And now I will tell everyone who rides a bike about electric pumps. You can get the Cycplus for a lower price if you shop around. After one use, though, I am reasonably sold.

I never saw The Yankee again. She was too far ahead, and moving very fast, indeed. But I had a nice enough ride, even if I was standing still for too long to keep my legs warm.

Here’s a shot over my shoulder.

And a left-handed shadow selfie at 18 miles per hour.

But, for now, back to the school work.