This man was almost your president, and since that didn’t work out, he’s become a media consultant:

The Politico version of that story is the first hit if you Google “Kerry equal time.” The second is the inevitable (and immediate) retort, which is the use of archival footage demonstrating a person contradicting themselves at some previous point. This never gets old:

That makes it the classic voted-for-it-before-I-voted against-it, then. Just so we’re clear. There’s not much of a retort for this sort of thing, other than the obvious and honest “It suited my needs at the time.” You don’t expect that anytime soon, either.

Wait —

There’s a noise from the other room.

And that’d be the washing machine.

Which is terrific, because nothing has broken around here since June.

[To quickly recap, in the first year of our lovely home we’ve broke the thermostat (Which costed me $50, a lot of sweat, a dislocated thumb and a big jolt of electricity), the shower (should have cost $1,400, but the home warranty and parts ran us $100), the refrigerator ($50, plus ice and dry ice), the dishwasher ($50 and another electric shock for a friend), the dishwasher again ($50 more), the garage door button ($8), a contact in the air conditioner ($50) and two toilet flappers ($8).]

“Owning a house is fun!” people say. I have a suggestion about that, but I am afraid to say it with too much enthusiasm as a ceiling fan blade may fall out of the sky and give me a concussion.

So the washing machine. The water fills. It grinds and clunks, but does not spin. It drains. Repeat the cycle, give it the technical tap, no change. This just six days after we renewed the home warranty (which is a life saver) with the newly boosted $100 minimum appearance fee. Well, that’s pricey, and washers are even more expensive. To the Googles!

Whirlpool. Washer. Clunking sound.

Two forums — is there a more hit-or-miss effort in modern society than a forum? — and one fix-it page later and I’ve determined the problem may be a coupler. The forums suggest this can be a do-it-yourself exercise that will cost about $20 and take about an hour.

I found this beautiful video:

And took apart the washer and determined that, yes, the coupler had broken. This took 10 minutes.

Now I need a new coupler.

To Lowe’s, where exactly two guys were working the floor. And the second red shirt, or vest as I was corrected on Twitter, tells me they do not sell this part. But I am more than welcome to call their parts place and … he gives me a card as I resign myself to visiting Home Depot. I dislike Home Depot. Their floor staff is even less helpful and the guy who’s eye I finally caught did not know what a coupler was. But I can try the website.

There’s an actual parts place in town, but they are closed on Saturday. Ace? True Value? Nowhere to be found. Home Depot’s website? They don’t carry couplers. Ditto the Lowe’s site. To Amazon! I can buy one for $.20. Yes, friends, just 20 percent of one dollar and it will be mine, minus the shipping and handling and the postal wait. Only that guy is out of stock. To the next option then, where we bought one for $.50, horrified by the notion that this may be the last coupler left in America.

You knew Standard and Poor’s would have an impact, but yeesh.

So we have to wait on that to show up so we can finish the laundry. When all else fails, hit the bike.

So we rode. I did 38.4 miles this evening, covering most of the loop around the city, by the golf course and the airport, through one of the big shopping districts and back out into the country, which you can be in in four minutes in any direction. That last part was entirely racing the sun home.

And the sun won, but only barely.

Steak for dinner, which is good. That supplemented the four pieces of toast I’d eaten today. (It was French Toast, so there were eggs involved.)

It was then that I had the idea: I could take apart the other washing machine and cannibalize that coupler. There’s a reason I’ve kept that thing around … So that will be tomorrow.