memories


12
Jul 11

The heat’s fault

I learned how to swing a golf club in weather not too different from this, about three miles from here in fact, about 13 years ago. That field is now being developed for … something not involved with poor uses of a 5-iron.

That seemed more polite than saying “Someone mentioned on Twitter that their heat index was 109 today. I live in a place that makes 109 seem pleasant. The heat index here was 119 here today.”

Because that’s just obnoxious, especially since I’m not making that up.

So I was a little sad I had not yet retrieved my bike, because I would have absolutely ridden at 119, at least for a few miles, just to say I had done it. That’s the sort of thing that makes my grandparents scoff and question my decision-making.

My bike was ready. It was ready on Saturday, but they would not let me pick it up until today. I waited and waited for them to call, but they did not. So I finally went over for a visit. Paid for the two tuneups and bought new CO2 cartridges.

We had a discussion on the value of the decimal point. This particular one was worth 62 dollars, and I’m glad we talked about it as it worked out in my favor. Loaded my car up, bursting into a terrific sweat just wrestling the thing in the car. Got home, unloaded the bike, and my sweat glands proved their efficiency by again jumping into service as I put the front wheel back on. This is a quick release wheel. It takes just a few seconds to slide it into the fork, seat the hub, put the brakes over the rim, tighten the brakes and the release. It was … warm out.

Men

Picked up The Yankee at the Atlanta Airport, home of useful signs and traffic jams.

You know that place on the curb where you drop off people and pick them up, even though the airport, police and all of us agree no one else (except you, of course) should be allowed to do so? Atlanta, in addition to the shuttles, park-n-rides, MARTA, on-site lots, cabs and so on, has a two-tiered curb system. If you were exiting the airport, you’d walk out from baggage, through a door into a sultry Georgia evening and see three lanes of cars. Then you’d see a covered pedestrian refuge island. And then you’d see three more lanes of cars. Beyond that is one of the many parking decks. It is the six lanes that draw your attention, for they are a mess.

But pedestrian pickup dynamics are interesting. My first pass through the airport the inside lanes were an unmitigated disaster. So I chose the outer route. I happened to be right on time, which really meant six minutes early, so I had to do the loop again. I texted “Go to the outside lanes.”

By the time I came around for my second pass the inside lanes were sparsely populated. The outer three lanes were wrecked. Partly because of the several Atlanta PD cruisers in violation of some still-unread section of the Patriot Act prohibiting parking within a four mile radius of airports, Republicans or George Bush. The other reason the outer lanes were wrecked was because of civilian cars parked and abandoned in the pickup area in direct violation of the Patriot Act, the 28th Amendment and common human decency.

So on my third pass I chose the inside three lanes, because the cruisers and the parked cars had not moved in the 75 seconds it took for my return pass. These were moving smoothly on my second circle, but they were gridlock this time through. All three lanes were stalled, mostly because of the double-parking, diagonal attempts at preventing door dings from someone from Gwinnett County. Atlantans know this to be true.

I finally picked up my best girl from her weekend home — there was a god-niece’s baptismal to attend — and we head for home. But not before stopping at Sprayberry’s, where I visited last week. She didn’t get to go, since I’d already dropped her off at the airport by then. Tonight we closed the place, reveling in the best 9 p.m.-is-late-night atmosphere that small town Georgia has to offer. She pronounced the barbecue very good, which it is. I had the Lewis Grizzard special — barbecue, stew and perhaps the best onion rings ever — I felt a just a little more Southern. It is possible.

There’s something on the menu there, the Houston Special, which is the stew on a barbecue sandwich. This is named after Houston Sprayberry, the founder of the place (established in 1926). I did not order it, but dipped some of my stew over the pork. If anyone ever asks me what a grandpa plate tastes, this is the answer. I can imagine every old man in the region eating this. Probably they are torturing the language as they do so, while enjoying their sandwich and looking forward to a Neehi or a Moon Pie or some other regional thing. They are imparting a lifetime of wisdom and defiance on an impressionable young person who is not interested in stew on a sandwich who is thinking Stew is a stew. It should not be on a sandwich. Ironically, dropping the extra pork into the stew tasted entirely different.

Links: This is a piece of poignancy making the rounds, father and son at the first shuttle launch, and again at the last. But if you really want to get misty eyed over pictures, Dear Photograph. Give it a try. You’ll catch the premise immediately, there’s a universal call to appeal there, and you’ll realize looking through the full site is worth the time.

Birds. On radar.

And, now, the most obvious story you’ll read this week, the one that makes you question the scruples and decency of a union which would make such ridiculous claims. (Hint: this is about teachers.) Dr. Joe Morton, the state school superintendent, is retiring. He seems a good man. I’ve interviewed him several times. The AEA recently published a hit piece on the guy. And now, on the way out the door, he’s having to defend himself. But for what?

In a recent issue of the Alabama Education Association’s Alabama School Journal, AEA Associate Executive Secretary Joe Reed said Morton has been “openly hostile” to public educators and that Morton proposed that more teachers have their certificates revoked than past superintendents.

Morton told the state school board Tuesday that Reed’s assertions are “incorrect and wrong minded.”

Morton said he takes the revocation of certificates very seriously and that most revocations he recommended involved teachers using illegal drugs, having inappropriate sexual contact with students or committing crimes.

Just a little more evidence: the union is not in it for the kids.

If you were wondering, my golf swing has never improved that much. I blame the crushing heat.


9
Jul 11

Sizzle and ouch

Lord, it was hot today. Walked out onto the back porch and was slightly baked by the convection currents. The thermometer suggested the heat index was 110 degrees.

I have a reasonable tolerance of heat, but be it psychological or physical, anything over 106 just hurts.*

So I hid inside and read. I watched a little television. I caught up on the site. Everything is up-to-date. The July photo gallery is current. Until very recently the photo gallery section was criminally behind. No more.

Also, I transferred a lot of video from blip.tv to boxes holding iframes here. Blip is great. I still use them, but I like to have them linked on the home site, too. So that got done.

Late in the afternoon, when it was only 92 or so, I took The Yankee’s bike to the bike store for a tuneup.

“You’re the guy that brought in the Felt, right?”

That’s right. Good memory.

“I fixed it. It will be ready on Tuesday.”

These are nice guys, they give good advice and have actually offered us a few freebies, but I hope they never run the world. Dropped my bike off late Friday. It was ready by late Saturday. I can pick it up on Tuesday?

I caught up on Falling Skies, TNT’s newest superlatively promoted summer program. Aliens invaded and they’re stilling kids. Somehow John Carter, who left ER to become a librarian and then a professor of history, must save them.

The acting is a bit wooden, but it is post-apocalyptic with optimism, and so that deserves a look. My rule of thumb for science fiction is three episodes. Intrigue me by then or lose me forever. I’m giving Falling Skies a fourth episode, but only because of Will Patton. Tomorrow night’s episode better give me something more. (I’m sure they’re all rushing in to re-write and re-shoot as they read this.)

I even cleaned off a bit of the Netflix queue. Watched it already? Delete. Indy film? You get a short leash. I nixed one this evening because, for the first three minutes there was no dialog. There was a lovely window shot, an introduction to two characters who just stared at each other and then a dream sequence. Three minutes worth of this. Gone.

I did watch One Week, which offers a grim scenario — you get a cancer diagnosis, decide you don’t like much about your life and then buy a motorcycle.

Even if you don’t care for the movie, the scenery is worth seeing alone. Beautifully shot film.

*When we got married the heat index was around 122 degrees. We were married outdoors. We are very smart.


5
Jul 11

Attention shoppers

Started the day on the bike, as per usual. Made it 14.5 miles. It was warm and bright and sunny, but that wasn’t the problem. There’s a cramping pain in my shoulder that would not allow me to look behind me to the left. This is important, you know, to monitor traffic, so I figured I should call it an early day.

Which is very interesting. At 20 miles I feel as if I can at least say I’ve had a little exercise. Thirty miles seems to be where I can say is a good place to park the bike, clean up and still have a marginally useful day. Higher than that and the bike ride becomes the day, physically speaking. Thirty isn’t a plateau, but you can see it from there. Fifteen? Why bother?

I pedaled around most of the bypass, hooked a left through the airport’s neighborhood and decided to shut down from there. I took the downhill express route home, and found The Yankee already back inside. She’d bailed, too, blaming the sun.

So we had a day of Court TV. Casey Anthony not guilty! I’m shocked! Appalled! I don’t know why, but the media is telling me I should be! And the media is full of talented litigators.

This sort of news holds little sway with me anywhere. It’s terrible on the personal level and cheap and facile from the news media’s perspective. No doubt it is very important to those involved, and I understand how bystanders can become invested in it. We’ve all been there on some type of story or another. This particular one just isn’t for me.

This is what I know of the entire story, which has been going on for years now: a child is dead, a mother is the suspect and she probably won’t win any Mother of the Year awards. So, naturally, I’m shocked. SHOCKED!

Because the newspapers tomorrow will tell me I should be; just like the talking heads have told me I should be all day. Except for that one lady on CNN, who suggested a lynch mob was on the verge of forming at the courthouse.

Really?

They set up for a jury press conference. Those wishing to take part could stand before the media and give an oration dissimilar to the fiery stuff that came out of one of the defense counselor’s head. The jury demurred. And that’s where the entire thing got boring.

I’m only writing this for the search engines. Casey Anthony! Mother of the Year! Guilty! Not guilty!

Shameful, isn’t it? And that’s what cable news has been doing for months. Or, in the case of some of the Headline News wags, years.

In my fun reading today I stumbled across a site called Dead Malls. This is a subject of little interest to me, but I appreciate the labor of love that goes into it. There’s a generation of culture built into the trappings and successes and failures of the mall culture. And you have to know, beginning a site like this, that your audience is extremely narrow. Who wants to read about a mall in Peoria except for the good people of Peoria?

Here are three I skimmed from Alabama: Eastwood, Century Plaza and Montgomery. The first two I’d actually visited at one point or another.

I’ll admit it. I was a teen in the right time for malls. They were a great place to meet with friends, play video games, catch a movie, buy things and play with the gadgets at Brookstone. Visiting one now does seem a bit different. Maybe it is timing, or age or the economy, but the vibrance seems gone.

Of course, I’ve been in a dead mall, too. I suddenly remembered. Only those people hadn’t covered it. To the Googles!

Another mall blog — there are several, it turns out — chronicles the sad demise and the odd current stasis that inhabits Westlake Mall.

The guy that runs that site is in his early-30s. He’s from Atlanta. And, despite clearly being uncomfortable cruising around the place he has the history pretty well figured out. The comments are wonderfully insightful. I left one, too, because one good comment deserves another and another. And it all harkens back to a changing of the retail guard, names I can recall in locations I would know better under different fonts and signage. But still. What was Woolworth became a Walmart, until they moved and that is now a Big Lots and a Fred’s. What used to be Zayre morphed into Kmart which was in a perpetual slide, but is now a thrift store. What was once Westlake Mall went through two iterations of anchor stores. (I remember the Consumer Warehouse Foods, where you wrote your own prices so they didn’t have to employ extra help, thereby keeping prices down. I recall Ronnie Marchant Furniture which was going out of business for 20 years, but is even still open today just a few blocks away from the mall. I recall Goody’s, in what used to be Loveman’s, have the faintest recollection of Sears and a Handy electronics place where no one ever seemed to buy anything.) The mall finally died after years on life support around the turn of the century and is now owned by a car salesman (who’s sons I knew in elementary school) who hopes to turn it into a giant flea market. Maybe.

Retail is always changing, but it seems to have changed a lot in my youth.

I began looking at other malls on his site. Here’s the Galleria, the local mall of choice in my youth, which was fabulous and then became generic, but is still rather impressive to see, especially through other people’s eyes.

I wrote of this in an Email to a friend, suggesting he give it a look because there would be a few names he recognized. I said this is another in a long list of “I love the Internet” moments. He wrote back that that is sort of sad.

Not sure if he meant the dead malls or what I found interesting today.

One final interesting thing: All of this somehow led me to an old column one of the local writers had on the fabled Bessemer Super Highway. He once ruffled some feathers by asking what was so super about it. (The corridor has seen better economic days. And that’s being kind.) Also, he said, it isn’t precisely a highway.

This, of course, prompted a reply and a terrific picture. Most importantly he received a little written history from a former DOT official that explained the road:

By the mid-1930’s, the State Highway Department began serious consideration of (a) new route to connect Jefferson County’s two major cities.

State engineers were aware of the revolutionary freeway system, the Autobahn, being developed in Germany and acquired a set of design plans from the Europeans. They then applied the design to a new highway … Unfortunately, the economic constraints resulting from the Great Depression caused the State to eliminate plans for a complete freeway facility.

[…]

However, the completed product was magnificent and resulted in the State’s first completely new multi-lane highway with roadways separated by a grassed median. The State Highway Department intended to simply call the highway the Birmingham-Bessemer Boulevard, but the public was so enamored with the facility, they dubbed it the “Bessemer Super Highway” and the designation was ultimately officially adopted. In 1940, a lighting system was installed along the route and, for a time, the Super Highway was the longest whiteway east of the Rocky Mountains.

[…]

Had the State been able to carry through with the original plans, the Super Highway would have pre-dated Connecticut’s Merritt Parkway and the Pennsylvania Turnpike as the first freeway in America.

I grew up alongside what was almost the first freeway in the country. The Yankee grew up alongside the Merritt, which was the first.

MerrittParkway

That’s an M.P. Wolcott shot of the Merritt Parkway (via the Library of Congress), in July 1941 Connecticut, months before people knew what Pearl Harbor was. This was 70 years ago, perhaps to the day. What do you think they were listening to on their car radios?


4
Jul 11

Six Fourths

We have Fourth of July traditions. We go to Dreamland, enjoy the ribs, take a photo and watch fireworks.

Dreamland

So it is a mosaic, a history of summers well spent. The most recent, in the bottom right corner, is at the Montgomery restaurant. This is the first year we’ve not done this particular shot at the Birmingham Dreamland.


29
Jun 11

Four stories for the price of one

Let us recall: I did 42 miles on the bike yesterday. That was, in a sense, giving up on my original plan. Recall I’d planned to do 50 miles. But, when I crossed the artery off which our subdivision thrives I noted a deep, emotional pleasure of seeing the road sign. Taking that as a sign, I turned and headed in.

Because saying no to the last 10 miles with a heat index of 96, to me, is giving up.

But the better for it, I felt. Discretion and all that. Saddle sores can’t be nearly as fun as the alliteration they make. So I was OK with it, especially after rubbing a curative elixir in my quads. All of that was yesterday, after which I visited the helpful bike store which is full of helpful lads doing thoughtful things trying to keep their laughter about your predicament to a minimum.

This pain in my hand, for instance. And what about this? And how do I? Why, yes, 42 miles, thank you. Why do you snicker?

So today The Yankee and I set out for more of this delightful fun, where the heat index was a mellow 90 degress — hey, even the relative humidity has a take a day off every now and again — and we covered 29 miles.

Well, I covered 29 miles. I took a slightly longer route, intent on racing her home. But then every part of me gave out in the last few miles. Which doesn’t mean anything bad, really. Not to worry. I just coasted more than I should. And wondered how I could simultaneously cramp in 103 percent of my body.

She beat me soundly.

Here’s the cheering section.

Horses

Note their casually dismissive approach to encouragement. The distance between camera and subject isn’t expressive enough, but the fence line keeps them back and their lack of amazement by my cycling further restricts them.

At first I thought that it was a denuded poplar tree in the background. When I finally cropped the picture I realized it was the power pole. Cursed power poles. Yesterday, on one long stretch of highway I found no shade. All of the blessed, dark coolness was on the left-hand side of the road. It was long and my field of vision was clear. This blisteringly hot condition was continuing on for some time. And then, I realized, it was the power poles. They were all on my side of the highway. Everything else had been clear cut.

And I uttered perhaps the most petulant thing I’ve said in my adult life.

Oh, like these people need power.

Clearly my shade was more important.

Where I tell you about our search for dinner: Have I mentioned we broke one of the toilets in our house? I did. How about the various evil spirit curses placed upon our property?

When we first moved in we broke the thermostat. That cost $50.

Then I broke the shower head trying to fix a drip. That led to a larger problem which required plumbers, a drywall saw and an acetylene torch. It should have cost us about $1400, the plumber said, since it was a weekend. Fortunately the house warrant and the new shower head stuff cost us around $100.

And then we woke up one weekend to find the frozen contents of our refrigerator hanging out in liquid form on the floor. That cost us $50 (thanks home warranty) plus whatever we paid for ice and dry ice to preserve our perishables.

(We’d been in the house for two months by then.)

Then, in October, the dishwasher broke. Fifty more bucks. (And our second in-house electrocution.)

Then it broke again in December. We had it repaired during the holidays. Yep, $50 more.

This list does not include the bird feeder or the cable/Internet problems.

It does now include March’s necessary garage door button replacement.

It should also be noted that another air conditioner man had to come out and replace a contact on our external unit. Seems you can stop a Trane. And I have to pay $55 dollars to get back on board. This was, apparently, not noted in the blog. But believe me, it happened. I have the canceled check to prove it.

The current minor plumbing issues.

At this point we’re keeping a running total of the devious spirits.

So, to quickly recap (because, really, this story is about dinner): I replaced the flapper in the basin of each toilet tank. In doing so I managed to make one of them leak. I emptied it again and dried the tank, hoping a sealant would be an easy and quick fix. Tonight we visited Lowe’s to get silicon. I run across a man who works there who suggests the fix is probably in a filter, and corrosion related. So he dissuades me from picking up a sealant, encouraging me to bring in the damaged parts so we can find a suitable replacement. “Oh and plumbing repairs are seldom easy.”

Not that that was anything new to hear.

So we leave Lowe’s and look for dinner. We rattle off the options, prattle off the things that don’t sound good and turn to a food app. Thai! There’s Thai in Opelika. We turn the car around and drive across town. We find the right place, where we see a sign that translates to mean “We are no longer Thai.”

NoThai

We settle on Logans. Which is right across the street from Lowe’s. When the waiter comes The Yankee orders. He turns to me. I’ll have the Thai. This is hysterical to everyone. They’re holding a ceremony to honor this joke next week.

Where I tell you about my repair work: After dinner I decided to investigate the water filter on our refrigerator. This is the first unit I’ve ever had with the water and ice dispenser in the door. There must be, I rationalize, a filter somewhere. Probably it needs replacement.

I do a little study. I find the Whirlpool site that tells me precisely where the filter is. The site insists I find the model number so that it can tell me what filter to order.

I find the model number of the refrigerator. I enter it into the Whirlpool website, which does not recognize it. I enter it again. I carefully inspect my data entry. Still the Whirlpool database suggests this is a secret box of government documents, or perhaps a crate of uranium, anything but a series of letters and numbers that correspond to a refrigerator. I examine each number on the filter. I enter them all into the Whirlpool site. None are recognized.

I’ll just order a new one by eye. Because this is a good technique for this house.

Fridge

I decide, after failing to resolve my refrigerator issue, to take apart the toilet tank. One needs the feeder hoses, washers and connectors so the hardworking folks at Lowe’s can remind me: lefty loosey, righty tighty.

I remember that to put the flapper into this tank that I had to remove the feeder tube that pumps the refill water in the right place. This wiggled the floater canister, which controls how much water the tank holds. This is the area in which the leak has suddenly appeared. I take the entire thing apart and put it back together. I torque it as if I need to crank down the landing gear so we can safely put down and we’re only getting one chance at this. I say a little prayer, pre-select an oath to mutter just in case, and fill the tank.

No leak!

This is the first thing I’ve fixed in this house that cost five bucks and stayed at that price.

But the brick which is in there, because water displacement saves the earth, started making noise. Seems the porous brick had dried out. The water seeping in and the air escaping sounds like a rainforest. After a few flushes the creatures in the brick were drowned and silenced.

I tinkered with the master bathroom’s toilet, too, because I did not like the flush rate. I adjusted the chain’s location on the handle, which improves the turning ratio (and now it can climb semi-steep hills). I realized, in glancing at the flapper package as I’m about to throw it away, that there is a part of that rubberized flapper I was supposed to cut away. I make the requisite snips.

Now that one is running again.