memories


3
Jan 14

Better than perfection

The thing about the football bowl system is that it gives you time to dream and fret and be exposed to endless amounts of hype. It also lets you reflect. I wrote most of the list below at about this time in 2011, the last time Auburn was set to play for a national championship. It was to be their first appearance since 1957. There are people in Jordan-Hare Stadium who waited all that time to watch their beloved team achieve that kind of success. And now we’re going to see them try again for the second time in four years, which is remarkable.

Football is an important part of the culture here, but Auburn is not a football team. Auburn is a community, a history, and sharing in a common experience. Auburn’s biggest dream is realizing her potential and Auburn’s greatest potential has always been her people.

Jordan-Hare

And we’ve got a lot of people.

I want Auburn to win for:

A teacher – One of my favorite high school teachers, an Auburn grad.
A girl – She was a big part of the reason I chose to apply to Auburn.
Mr. Ethridge – Who gave me my scholarship. He died in 2009.
Dean William Alverson – He helped raise that scholarship money and was my academic adviser. He retired just a few years ago.
My roommate – He and his family, all Auburn people, and all nicer to me than they had to be during my first two years at Auburn. He’s going to Pasadena, and no, I’m not jealous.
Chadd – A friend of more than 15 years, he gave me my start on air, was always full of advice, helped me build an incredible professional foundation. He’s never asked for a thing in return.
For Jim and Rod and Andy and Bill and Paul – Auburn athletics wouldn’t sound the same without them.
For an old man – I sat next to him during the 2004 season. He said simply, “I went to school here when it was API.” He was impressed by that perfect season, and I’m sure he’s amazed by this season, too.
For my wife – She was undeclared until I brought her to her first game but she’s been an Auburn woman ever since. Now she teaches at Auburn and is the director of the public relations program.
For the family in Section 52 – They adopted us and let them sit in their section for years. They remember the Barfield years.
For the Browns – Another strong, proud, kind Auburn family that have been indescribably good to us over the years.
For Shug and Doug and Pat and Terry and Tommy and Gene and Gus – And for all of their coaches and players and staffers, the people fans really mean when saying “We won.”

New additions to the list:

For the Hallmarks – Adam sat through last year and celebrated through this year. He’ll watch this BCS game shivering in some pub in Alaska, on his way to his new duty station.
For the tailgating crew – War Drunj Eagle.
For The War Eagle Reader – which loves like no other. War Eagle forever.

Mostly, I want this team to win for this team. We’ve seen great years, and this has by far been one of the best and most entertaining in many respects.

I wrote this, one of the few good football things I’ve written, before the 2011 BCS game, when everything those guys played for seemed to be more about everyone else. Now, I’m eager to celebrate a great season — I’ve said for the last three games, that we were going into the stadium to congratulate a team for a great performance this season — for the guys actually in the blue and orange.

Much has been written about this team turning around last year’s 3-9 effort. Less has been said about what these guys have gone through. Some of them are national champions. Some have two SEC championships. They’ve also changed head coaches. Some are playing for their third position coach. Some of them have lost parents. Others have had children. They’ve lost teammates. They’ve battled cancer. They’ve stuck together and demanded so much of themselves.

And still Heisman finalist Tre Mason told reporters: “We owed them that. Putting them through last year, we owed them a season like this.”

But, no, this is about them. They’ve succeeded beyond the wildest expectations of everyone but themselves. They’ve always believed.

buttons


28
Dec 13

Connecticut Christmas

I’ve been battling a head cold of sinuses and various other fun for several days now. I can point to when it began, precisely at the end of dinner on Christmas Eve. This being the holidays, and that meaning traveling and a dozen people’s varying schedules and being courteous to the dietary habits of others, that would have been at around 5 p.m.

We’d had dinner with a portion of the family that was just getting over some bug or another. And I thought, for a time, that I’d been given some fast acting strain of a thing that I did not want.

Instead, before I complain about being sick and never eating, let me tell you about the best Christmas present I received on Christmas Eve.

We show up late, because there is being courteous to the dietary habits of others and then there is being alternatively busy and passive aggressive against the idea of eating dinner at 3:30 in the afternoon. So we sit down, all of the family in one big giant circle. For some this is a nice time. For others, perhaps they’d rather be elsewhere. Presents are passed around because one of the kids has to go to his father’s for another meal — the typical modern American Christmas, of course.

So it turns out that all of the gifts are aimed at the children, as it should be. This set ranges from 10 to 17 or so. Being book lovers, and considering these particular kids, The Yankee and I decided we’d simply do gift cards for all of them to a local bookstore.

The 10-year-old, after the haze of Christmas presents presents burns down to a nice, soft, amber glow in his mind, becomes upset. He has gotten me nothing. He disappears. He scours his room. He sends word that I am to join him there. He presents a miniature American flag. And a child’s giving, loving heart.

For the next three hours he proceeded to try to cheat me out of every dollar possible at Monopoly, but, still, for a moment, that was perfect.

Anyway, that was Christmas Eve, where I started coming down with something in his house. When the plane landed the day before yesterday here I couldn’t hear anything because of whatever is going on in my head. I’ve been walking around sniffling and listening to everything as if I’m three feet under water.

So we went for a run this morning. So we walked up the hill to the park where my wife played as a child, the same park where we had our engagement photos taken a few years ago. It is one of those old, large homes turned into a city showcase arrangements. There are dog runs and empty fields and disc golf and a gravel path and plenty of woods.

It was about 39 degrees and I’m going to be that guy, here, but the run helped me feel better. Cleared my head a bit. Now I’m hearing things slightly more clearly, and so on. I got in just over four miles.

We got back to the in-laws just in time to see Uncle Scott, who was up from New Jersey for Connecticut Christmas. How nice of him to wait for us, huh?

Cleaned up, and then Christmas presents, where Santa did an amazing job of bringing wonderful things to everyone. I’m still very much under the spell of that thing parents tell kids just before Christmas, and I’m always sure that I’ve never been good enough to deserve the Christmas gifts I receive. This year, this fine year, was no exception.

We had Christmas dinner, at a reasonable hour. And I calculated this: I believe it has been eight days since I’ve had both lunch and dinner at or near their regular times.

Now let me tell you about the luck of Christmas dinner. My mother-in-law, she’s a fine chef. Christmas in their home is shrimp cocktails and prime rib. Prime rib isn’t the first cut of meat I’d choose for myself, but she makes it happen and it was delicious, as always.

So I helped her clean up afterward and then went to play with my Christmas presents, which are too many and too grand for a boy like me.

Also, at this Christmas dinner, we open crackers. It seems you have this tradition or you’ve never heard of it. There is a cardboard tube with a ribbon coming out of either side. You pull the ribbons and it pops, a mini-firework! The tube opens and you get a paper crown for dinner, a cracker jack-type toy and a joke. These are the jokes we received tonight:

LincolnCenter

And Christmas still isn’t finished! One more tomorrow …


2
Dec 13

Día de la última clase

It was the last day of class for me. And a hectic day, at that. We wrapped it up with broadcast writing. I showed the 4,353 slide of the semester and asked the class to write the 129 story of the semester. That’s good for them, the writing part. I have to grade them all, which will be the next two weeks of life, I’m sure.

Visited the library today. Had two nice phone calls and then some recruiting calls and did a little bit of the grading and so on. Managed to have both lunch and dinner, which is sometimes a special trick. I’ll probably be up until the wee hours.

Also, two of our Christmas trees are now decorated. One is the large, fresh cut traditional variety. We display two miniature trees, too. One of them is purely a joke, the Auburn tree:

Aubie tree

It features lights and helmets and the Aubie. My grandmother, who has a way with arts and crafts, made the tree. I found the helmets years ago at a going out of business sale. A former co-worker gave me the Aubie, years ago, too.

The whole thing sits on top of the book case full of Glomeratas. It is also covered in Santas, so we have the Christmas spirit.

These are the Sunday editions of the newspapers from across the state, full of Auburn material. You can click any of the images to go to each paper’s respective site. The Birmingham News, Huntsville Times and Press-Register look the same on purpose. I assume the Montgomery Advertiser didn’t know what AMG was running when they did their own layout.

It seems Kick, Bama, Kick, is going to be the name that sticks, so the O-A News has a nice headline. The Tuscaloosa paper touches on a topic important to much of the state right now.





DothanEagle OpelikaAuburnNews
BirminghamNewsHuntsvilleTimes
PressRegister GadsdenTimes
TuscaloosaNews MontgomeryAdvertiser
TimesDaily DecaturDaily


9
Nov 13

Giving the present

Someone in my family must always give the blessing. And usually there is a storytelling period after dinner. If there is any general silliness, because my family enjoys silliness, this might get in the way of storytelling. If there is to be the presentation of something there is usually a speech.

I’d already offered the blessing and I had no speech. I’d thought of things to say, but nothing I could say seemed simultaneously big enough and small enough for the moment. I can’t explain that, dichotomy, you’ll just have to go along with it. So I said to my grandfather, about his present, that it was from the four of us: my folks, my wife and me. It was something we did, I said, because of how much we cared for him. I finished my speech saying that we’d cared a lot about this project, and that we hoped he liked it, too.

He unwrapped the box, cut the tape from the folds and he flipped them back and looked at this handsome cherry box with a black background and colorful elements inside.

I had the good fortune to sit next to him and tell him what they all meant. He listened closely. He read, for a long time, the certificate that came with the flag we had flown over the U.S. Capitol. It said that it was flown in honor and memory of Tonice, a Christian, husband, father and grandfather, a medic in the 137th Infantry Regiment of the 35th Division, wounded at the Battle of the Bulge. The certificate noted it was flown on the anniversary of the end of the war.

I pointed out what some of the medals meant. I told him that this booklet had a few pages describing what was involved with each of the medals. I said the rest of this booklet was text about the 137th’s time in France and Germany and Belgium while my grandfather’s father was there. It reads day-by-day. Read it at your own pace, I said. Just please promise me you’ll at least read through Christmas Day.

That day’s notes are comforting. It was important to at least read that much.

All of this had been a mystery in the family. Now, for his birthday, my grandfather suddenly had a lot more information about what his dad did in the war. My great-grandfather had never talked about it that much, if at all. And this would have been far too fancy for such a quiet and humble man. But it was important to me to find it and important to all of us to share it with my grandfather.

By the time I started explaining the medals, my grandmother had walked over. She leaned in to see it the display case sitting on his lap. She was eyeing the walls. Where could we display it?

My grandfather is a pretty quiet man, too. He took it all in, and it was a lot to take in. But his reaction was almost inscrutable. When we left last night he gave me a big hug. This wasn’t new. He thanked me again for the display case. He held on a bit longer than normal and thanked me a few more times. That wasn’t why we did it, of course, but it was a hint about how he felt about the thing, and that was gratifying.

Today my grandmother said he read through all of the pages that I’d given him. He’d read awhile, she said, and then show her something. He’d read awhile longer and then show her something else. She’d thanked me last night for making this for him — How often does someone thank you for something you did for a third person? — and today she made sure that we knew how much he was enjoying it.

He got up this morning, she said, and walked around their house staring at all of the walls. She’d asked him what he was doing. He said he was looking for the right place to put the display case. They’d thought, at first, about hanging it over the sofa in their living room. The way their home is laid out this is essentially the center of the universe.

But, he’d decided there might be glare from the window opposite. He found a new place and we installed the display case today.

Clem

We realized it is in a place where everyone who walks in their home will see it. We realized it is also in direct view of my grandfather’s recliner.


8
Nov 13

About that present

From the beginning, you must know that all of this would be frowned upon as too much of a fuss. This would be disproved of because this is not the right thing to do. It is vainglorious. It would be dismissed because it didn’t fit the man. All of this is ostentatious. But, sometimes, a man is bigger than he realizes.

These are my great-grandparents: Tonice and Ocie, and their oldest of four children, my grandfather, Clem:

ToniceOcie

That picture has landed here before, but it is important to introduce them again today to wrap up a story that went untold for 60 years, research that was unfulfilled for a decade and a mystery that was unraveled off-and-on over the last 12 months and is being presented tonight.

My great-grandfather, Tonice, was, to me, the archetype of a Christian man. (He would probably object to that, and really would not like all of the things I’m about to say.) He was a humble fellow. He was a farmer, a pillar of his church and the kind of guy I’d do well to be like. He was a quiet guy. He had a voice that I remember as a loud whisper, the kind you lean in for. He was a kind, giving man. He’d rather you didn’t notice that he did his earthly work without fanfare. That’s probably part of why he came home from the war, like so many others, and didn’t want to talk about it.

The day we buried Tonice, in 2001, the preacher talked about how he’d been visiting people in the hospital even as his own body was being worn away. His preacher told us an anecdote about his wartime service, a topic he was always careful to avoid. His children learned perhaps as much about what he did in Europe in the church’s bulletin that day as they had in a lifetime with the man — and even then it wasn’t much. It just wasn’t important to talk about. Or perhaps it was important to keep to himself.

Before he died he’d asked for a simple funeral. As pallbearers we put his casket in the earth and covered it ourselves. It was one of the saddest and simplest and greatest honors of my life to be a part of that. He was, by rights, entitled to a military funeral, but he demurred. He simply wanted someone from the VFW to come out and present a flag to his wife. They did and it was all done simply and efficiently and he would have liked that.

I stared at that church bulletin for a long time. I’d come back to it every few months and then again around the time of year he died. My appreciation of history was in full bloom by then and I tried to find more about this chapter of his life. The man was a farmer and a family man, but there were other important things, too. I found his draft registration online. About five years ago, with my grandfather’s permission, we sent off to the national archives to see what they had on my great-grandfather. The 1973 fire sadly wiped out a lot of records. The title of that document is A Study in Disaster, and that seemed appropriate.

The government sent back word that they had nothing, and would we kindly fill them in? We had nothing, too.

The trail went cold.

Late last year a friend suggested I seek out his discharge papers. Returning troops, I was told, often filed them with the county back then. So I went to that office in his county at Christmas. They didn’t have anything, but they suggested I try the VA next door. I walked over and met an angel who called everyone under the sun until, after an hour or more, she found someone that actually had a copy of his DD-214. Someone, whose name I never heard, on the other end of that phone call had to go out in rain and maybe sleet to dig through files and boxes in an uninsulated outbuilding, but she dug up the file.

They faxed it over and suddenly, in my hands, were details. When he was wounded. When he was shipped back to the U.S. Where and when he was discharged. Some of his medals. His unit. This was the Christmas present of the year. My new friend at Veterans Affairs and I shared a little cry that embarrassed us both, which seems silly in retrospect. This was an important find. From this paperwork things started to come together.

Knowing his unit was the key. I found, online, a roster of the 137th that included his name. Confirmation. From there I was able to make this interactive map, which I shared here last January:

We decided that my grandfather deserved a big birthday present this year, so we continued the research. I found, and ordered, the medals Tonice never talked about. I had a flag flown over the U.S. Capitol on the anniversary of the end of the war in his honor. I took the history of the 137th Infantry Regiment of the 35th Infantry Division and wrote a narrative of Tonice’s days in France and Germany and Belgium, some of which is included in that map. I pulled in other sources, weather reports, soldier stats, the incredible tale of Mr. Michael Linquata a medic from the 134th, historical photos and more. There are now about a dozen or so sources in all. I added photo maps. It grew to over 30 pages, but I trimmed it to 26 for a high-altitude view of Tonice’s time in the war. It isn’t complete. It isn’t personal, but it is a tangible observation of a period he never talked about.

We ordered a nice display box. We worried for hours, it seems, over the proper layout and the precise measurements of things. We managed to keep it all secret. So my parents, my wife and I were able to present that big historical document, the flag and the accompanying certificate in my great-grandfather’s honor and this display case to my grandfather:

displaycase

That picture in the middle is the one at the top of the post, circa 1944. My great-grandfather was a combat medic, enduring the coldest winter Europe could remember. A weather report I found, and incorporated into the historic narrative, said the ground was frozen four-feet deep. His preacher said, when we buried him, that Tonice was the man that took his field jacket off and gave it to a soldier in a war zone to help keep him warm.

That didn’t surprise anyone in the church that day. The conditions he was in at the time might have. He’d never talked about it. We knew about the quiet, steady nature and nobility of the man. What it carried him through, until now, even his children couldn’t imagine. I’m pleased to be able to give his son, my grandfather, a bit of insight on that. If I didn’t know what the phrase “labor of love” meant before, I have a slightly better understanding of it now.

I’ve been hinting at this and we’ve been working on this project for a good long while. I’d gone through all of the stages — elation at discovering a new tidbit, the fear of finding too many tidbits, pleasure at laying out a handsome display, the misery of wondering whether I had enough tidbits, the uncertainty of how it would be received, all of that — and now we’re finally to the point of getting the glass cleaned and making sure everything is just so and wrapping the box and putting it in my grandfathers hands …

And I’m going to tell you about that tomorrow.