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9
Jul 12

In praise of bike helmets

Updated with higher quality images at the bottom. — Kenny.

Get up.

Get up, Kenny.

Get up now.

As my mind clears I find myself sprawled on the asphalt. Not lying. Not sitting. My bike was a few feet away. Getting up was hard.

There’s shade over there. Shade is a good idea. I can check everything out in the shade. I can’t put much weight on my left arm.

My ride is over. I know that before I reached the shade. I can feel my shoulder swelling.

A moment ago I’d been 29 miles into a 45-mile ride. I was riding along at an easy 18 miles per hour. There was a loud bang, a violent jolt and everything went white. I could hear my helmet disintegrating. The foam and plastic and rubber were ground up by the road.

The flimsy plastic top, the aesthetic cover of the helmet, popped off. It is upside down, coming to rest close to the chunk of wood that I hadn’t seen in the road. I bounced and slid maybe 20-25 feet.

I have to call someone. I can’t fish out my phone from the back pocket of my jersey because my arm doesn’t want to cooperate. When I finally reach it I’m relieved to see my phone still works. I get my wife’s voicemail.

“Call me back, please.” Details aren’t especially important in a voicemail. Over the next four minutes I slowly get my things organized for the walk out. My wife calls.

“I need you to come pick me up. I’m at the state park we were in, but I have to walk my bike out.”

I’m sore, but in no immediate danger. It is hot, but I have water. I looked at the odometer. There were 27 miles on it when I entered the park; there are 29 miles on it now. I have to walk two miles. Everything is fine.

I test my cognition and recall — years, presidents, names, tree species. I’m fine. I’m lucky.

She soon calls me from the park entrance and wants to know where I am. But I’m not worthy of a good conversation. I’m hurting and mad at myself.

I am walking” I say a little too forcefully, “my bike out.”

Soon it starts to rain, a cooling insult to a painful injury. A few minutes later I see The Yankee under an umbrella. I’m walking with my hand pinned to my waist.

I admitted I was hurt by saying “You’re going to have to put my bike on the rack. I can’t use my arm. I think we’re going to have to find a doctor.”

Back at the condo I can’t raise my hand above my head. I get cut out of my cycling jersey. I wipe off two hours of sweat. We clean up the road rash on my shoulder, arm, hip and knee.

I suggest we carry my helmet in case a doctor wants to see it. I can’t get that grinding sound out of my ears, but I had not looked at it.

In the hospital waiting room we took this picture of the back of my helmet:

helmet

Always wear a helmet, kids. Always.

Tomorrow: the medical tale.

UPDATE: Two weeks later, I decided to take some higher quality pictures.

This is the back of the helmet, as seen from above. So you’d be wearing this and facing the top of the frame. Note the chunk that the road just sheared off. Part of that is resting beside the helmet:

helmet

Again the back, this time from straight on. See how the upper left and center of the back was ground away? Note the small cracking at the base of the helmet’s back as well. See that crack on the left side? We’ll get to that next:

helmet

Here’s that left-side damage. Hardly a hairline crack:

helmet

This is a little farther up the side, but still on the left. As you’re wearing the helmet this crack would be directly over the left ear. The fracturing only stops at the air vent. Who knows how far it could have gone beyond that in a solid form, like a skull. From these pictures we can surmise that, without the helmet, the crown of my head over to my ear would have been heavily damaged:

helmet

Finally, looking up into the helmet. That’s one-piece, molded crash foam. Look how much it separated:

helmet


8
Jul 12

Life’s a beach

Another lovely day on the Gulf Coast. Here are just a few pictures to document things. Mr. Brown is pulling in a crevalle jack with his brother:

MrBrown

We bought our wedding rings from Mr. Brown. He’s a terrific man and has a great family. And I’m not just saying that because he’s letting us visit his condo, either.

We took a trip off the condo’s private pier and drove down the street to the state pier. It is very long, almost three-tenths of a mile, and costs $2 to walk. It is not unlike walking through a county fair held in the parking lot of a Walmart sale next door to an Alabama football game. Interesting people watching and too many hooks flying through the air.

The pelicans hang out for any left overs:

Pelican

Kids were reeling in bait fish to give to the pelicans, so that was fun:

PelicanFish

I startled him off so everyone else could take in-flight pictures. I was just a tiny bit hasty with this one:

Pelican

Not bad for phone pics, though.

Since we rode 60 miles yesterday and that was too far and too hot for my lovely bride, I suggested we take her ideas for future rides and reduce them by about 30 percent. So, today, we just biked into another state.

Florida

Don’t tell anyone, but we are staying just four miles from the line, so it isn’t the most impressive feat you could imagine. Hence my expression, I guess. (Incidentally, a friend of ours got engaged just a few hundred yards from this sign a couple of years ago.) We pedaled on into Florida for a while and then turned back for the condo before we made it to the Atlantic ocean. People in Florida are about as observant of bikes as people anywhere else, but the accents might be a bit thicker.

I hit another round number on the odometer today. This is where I should have been to start June. Still behind, still catching up.

Odometer

That’a 1,500 miles so far this year. Not bad. Not great, but not bad.

We had dinner tonight at a place called Cosmos. Jot that down and go there on your next visit. You might have a wait, but once you get beyond the it-is-fashionable-to-wait-despite-half-a-dozen-available-tables insult the food is worth it.


7
Jul 12

We took a long ride along the coast

It was going to happen at some point this weekend. The land is flat and we brought our bikes. There are long stretches of road and we’re on the right side of the bay. I had this feeling of certainty: The sky is blue, the water is blue-green and I’m riding to Fort Morgan.

My mother used to play here when she was on vacations as a child. She took me there once or twice when I was a teenager. We’re only 30 miles away.

So we were looking at routes last night and The Yankee says, “Let’s ride to this Fort Morgan place.”

It seemed a bit long for her, but she suggested it, so we went.

We had a slight headwind as we headed west. We did a quick turn off the main road on the coast, up to a state park. We did six miles through woods on a bike path, sliding past lagoons and katydids and then two or three more miles of RVs decked out in Alabama and LSU regalia.

And then we joined the cars again, more woods, beaches, beach houses. Head winds. A beautiful, warm summer day. It would make sense that we’d get the tailwind on the way back. We even passed this street:

GulfWindCt

But the air was dead still on our return trip. This ride, The Yankee said, was a better idea last night when she was in the air conditioning. But it was a great ride. We stopped at a marina and topped off our drinks. I tried new cycling snacks of gels and crackers and things.

We just missed a coastal rainfall, the kind you can set your clock by each afternoon. We did not miss the post-rain humidity, though. Essentially this route took us across the entire width of Baldwin County. It was sunny and the heat index barely made the mid-90s. I love to ride like this. We had plenty of wonderful views:

beachhouses

Here are my seat stays and seat tube, after a flat, steady 60-mile ride:

Felt

The dirtier it gets, the better it looks. Just wish I’d been pedaling harder.

We had lunch, cleaned up and then went fishing with our hosts. We caught nothing.

That’s not true. We became very proficient at catching bait fish. Other fish would then eat the eyeballs of those fish. Eyeball-less bait is unattractive to what we were after, so we’d have to catch more bait. And this cycle repeated itself for hours. Fish eyeballs, it seems, are a delicacy in the Gulf this season.

As the sun went down we got cleaned up again and headed out for dinner at the famous Wintzell’s Oyster House.

Tomorrow, she tells me, we’re taking a much shorter ride.


6
Jul 12

Travel day

Remember that childhood phenomenon where getting somewhere seemed to take for … ever? And then the return trip was always, somehow less interminable? That was like today. But we made it.

Gulf

We’re on Orange Beach for the weekend. A friend’s parents have a condo — and a private pier, and this makes us, as guests, feel like we’ve somehow arrived in a new class of citizenship — and they invited us to enjoy the sun and one of the most beautiful beaches in the world.

So we had breakfast this morning, loaded the car and drove for … ever. The company was great, though. We passed the time making fun of television news formulas. I’m driving and The Yankee and Brian are shooting videos saying things like “I’m here on this deserted street where, 12 hours ago, something happened.”

We got turned around several times when we were almost there — I blame the GPS. Made it in just in time for dinner, to buy some groceries, unpack, spend times with our too-cool hosts and then enjoy a little evening breeze.

We brought our bikes. I’m looking forward to taking advantage of the flat terrain and sneaking in a few good miles.

More tomorrow.


4
Jul 12

Independence Day

Fireworks

We let freedom ring on the bikes this morning. Snuck in a quick 30 miles (legs felt great) and made it home precisely at noon, which was conveniently when the sun remembered it was being sponsored by the month of July. Had watermelon for lunch.

We drove to Montgomery for ribs at Dreamland, as is our tradition. Our waiter was an immigrant who talked fast and moved a little slower. We sat outside in the shade, shooed away flies and enjoyed barbecue and banana pudding. We heard country songs next to blues next to Texas blues next to Edgar Winter. I’m no longer sure how to categorize Winter, so let’s make him his own genre. The Founders would have wanted it that way.

We made it back home in time to make it to the high school football stadium for the local fireworks show. Found a spot on the shoulder of the road that fit the car perfectly. We pulled the lawn chairs out of the trunk, where they’ve rested since the fireworks last night and craned our necks into the night, enjoying a peaceful half an hour before the first sparks were flung into the sky.

Here’s tonight’s finale:

The conclusion seemed a bit sudden, in a way, but then a firetruck which had been parked near the launch site suddenly bolted for some emergency somewhere. And it has been very, very dry here, despite a bit of rain yesterday, so we found ourselves hoping there wasn’t a problem with the pyro. I don’t think you could pay enough to cover the antacids for the fireworks engineers. Always a crowd, always in a drought, no thanks.

But the show was great. Kids were playing. Little boys and girls oohed and aahed. The weather was divinely perfect. Everything was.

Hope yours was great as well.

Happy Independence Day!

Fireworks