Auburn


25
May 11

Bad news baseball

Baseball, oy. Auburn drew the eighth seed in the SEC tournament, this after being in contention for the SEC West Division championship until the final weekend of the regular season. Problem: everyone in the West was similarly eligible. Result: Auburn played the top-seeded, defending national champion, could take two-of-three from the New York Mets, South Carolina in the first game of the conference tournament today.

Going in, Auburn needed two wins to be eligible for the NCAA Regionals — they have this pesky rule about being above .500 — and after today’s loss to South Carolina Auburn still needs two wins. Fortunately this tournament uses a double-elimination format.

The last time those two teams got together:

Auburn started with an eight-run first inning. The Tigers started the ninth inning 11-5 and looking for the (series) sweep.

After nine runs (on three hits!) including two bases-loaded walks and a grand slam UGA leads 14-11. Tigers need a rally (and a bullpen).

Oy.


23
May 11

I’m sore

This is that day-after feeling. It is no fun. The chair is better than the sofa. Sitting still is better than moving. Reading is about all I’m up for today.

This has been my favorite piece.

I just stare across the table at this polite 62-year-old man, his hair neatly combed, his face covered by a beard he hopes will allow him a measure of anonymity. Well, I stare at two different people, both of whom have made an appearance in the first two minutes.

There is Harvey Updyke, a remorseful grandfather who claims he didn’t poison those trees and wishes he’d never called a radio show to take credit for it.

And there’s Al from Dadeville — Updyke’s radio nom de guerre — who loves Alabama football, and, if he’s being totally honest, doesn’t understand why everybody’s so damn mad.

[…]

“Well, I’m just a very unhealthy Alabama fan,” he says. “I live it. I breathe it. I think about Alabama football, I’m not exaggerating, 18 hours a day. I have always been that way. It just didn’t start. That’s what people don’t understand. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is get on Tiderinsider and see what’s going on. I mean, I know it’s not healthy. I’ve been knowing that a long time. I have a daughter 33 years old named Crimson Tyde.”

If the judge in Updyke’s case lets drivel like this in you’ll see the most sympathetic instance of split personality pleading in modern trial law.

Everybody ready for the circus? His trial is presently set to begin June 20th.


19
May 11

Oh, hello, Summer

Road around the better part of town today. It isn’t the largest city, by sprawl, but it is big enough when you’re on a bike. There is a sense of accomplishment, though, when you pass those city limit signs and you aren’t in a car.

Most interesting, to me, was when physiology finally kicked in. I haven’t been eating a lot this week for whatever reason. My medical diagnosis: I go through phases. (I’m not a medical doctor, clearly.) Seeing, though, that I am the person who’s appetite goes nuts upon extra exertion, I was surprised to find I wasn’t eating the cabinets off the walls to get to the food inside. So it became an interesting game this week: How long will this last?

And it lasted until I had about 13 miles and lots of hills left to go on my route today. There just wasn’t much more energy for my body to offer. But I pushed through, best I could, proud I went through another city limits sign, even if my route weaved me through the towns in such a way that put me back and forth between them. Who needs a cold glass or reality when “Oh look! You’ve changed cities again!”

This took a few minutes.

Random photographic interlude:

Open

Saw this downtown the other day. This is in front of Auburn Art, another one of the downtown storefronts that has been turned into an extensive gift shop, hawking memorabilia where the authentic thing once stood. The little sign here is evocative of a bygone era, and that era was once inside those doors. Time marches on, only the nostalgic are looking for the past in handsomely framed portraits and paintings — which can all be found inside if you have sufficient credit!

Both the historic Toomer’s Drugstore and Auburn Hardware have morphed into a similar fate, more boutique and peddling more trinkets than their names would suggest. We can sell the ethos, but in another generation will the trinkets be of bygone gift shops themselves?

Tonight I … vacuumed. Can you tell I have a book report to write? Some habits never die. I have a heavy tome on two-and-a-half centuries of media to consider and write about within the next week. Naturally I choose to finish the laundry and otherwise make the place look a bit more respectable.

Also, tomorrow, I pick up my best girl from the airport!


18
May 11

Warmer and just as perfect in every way

Nice ride on this sunny, warm morning. Down the hill that is daring to wreck me. I hit a big bump there this morning I hadn’t discovered before. It was so big, and the speed so great that I swerved and wobbled the rest of the way down the path. And this is how I know I’ll never be a good bike rider: the speed I reach on this downhill is what the best bikers in the world do when they are simply pedaling hard.

So there’s that. Up the subsequent follow-up hill, through the stores of temptations — the cupcake boutique, the ice cream shop, the donut factory and more. I meandered back toward campus, turning by the old dorm that is now an apartment complex and work my way into a road full of traffic, including an intersection where I almost became a hood ornament. And then back to the quieter roads, past a golf course and the airport, onto another big road and then down the slow, gentle hill that means you’re almost home. There’s only one more big stretch after this, and that’s where a truck decided to get as close to me as possible and honk his horn. I passed him later and it was tempting to return the favor, but I didn’t. He was in a big truck, I was on a carbon frame.

Somewhere midway through the ride I challenged two guys on Harleys to a race. They just laaaughed.

One day I’m going to do a video of all of this. Nothing like a little multimedia humility as you work your way through the gears.

Post

Went to Niffer’s tonight, because I wanted steak fries. I was going to grill, but I had no charcoal. The realization of which also made me think Grilling for one is silly. I’d watched an episode of The Pacific last night and at one point a Marine gets a little reprieve from the horrors of island fighting and goes back to a hospital and is talking with a psychiatrist. There are fries. The Marine picks one up with a curiosity and amazement that turned into this bemused expression “I just saw all of the things I saw. Here’s a fry.”

Whenever a food is reduced and elevated like that, I figure you have to seek it out. So I wanted steak fries and Niffer’s provides. The waiter took my order — and I am the guy that orders without need of menu, so this is easy on him — and disappeared. A young lady brought my food. Another waiter offered me a refill. My guy was gone until it was time for the check. Behind the pole, above, you can see his arm. He was complaining of having less than $200 of sales for the night. “How is that even possible?” Oh I have an idea.

But I enjoy Niffer’s, this guy aside. It is the town’s quirky decor, with cutesy names on the straightforward menu place. It is one of the remaining locally authentic places found on the ever-shrinking list of “Places where we hung out when I was in school.” They are celebrating their 20th anniversary this year. I’ve ordered pretty much the same thing every time. Their first menu is hanging on the wall. That sandwich would have cost me about four bucks in 1991.

I suppose my first visit there was 15 years ago. Keely, the owner, was on the floor then as she still is now. Seldom is the place not hopping. Tonight was one of those nights, but I got there late, on a Wednesday and the university is between semesters. She comes to visit our table every so often. She doesn’t know me from anyone, but every so often she brings free food with her. Not much has changed about her place in most of that time.

Towns change. Businesses thrive and fail. People retire or get bought out or the rent gets too high or whatever. Graffiti is painted over. New people come and institutionalize their memories as being The Memory of how it should all be just so. You can’t begrudge them that, but you’d like it if a few more things had remained, all the same.

Learned the magazine to which I submitted an article last night is going to run another essay I wrote earlier this year. It actually relates to the idea above, which is both coincidental and sad. Not every part of my day is like that, I promise. Re-reading the thing, though, I cringed at a few points and beamed with pride at a few others. I wrote that. It is a running goal, write something with sentiment that doesn’t become maudlin.


15
May 11

“I do not sell to Alabama fans”

Nice to know that, even as fans prove their humanity in the midst of stupidity and tragedy, we can still recognize it as a rivalry.

This is before the first game on Saturday.

He had a good patter, and worked on this theme for most of the first game.

Never did he see him sell to an Alabama fan.

(This has also been published at The War Eagle Reader which called me a “video legend.” These clips are good, but they’ve only gotten about 1,500 views so far. I hardly think qualifies as legendary, but thanks Jeremy!)