memories


18
May 11

Warmer and just as perfect in every way

Nice ride on this sunny, warm morning. Down the hill that is daring to wreck me. I hit a big bump there this morning I hadn’t discovered before. It was so big, and the speed so great that I swerved and wobbled the rest of the way down the path. And this is how I know I’ll never be a good bike rider: the speed I reach on this downhill is what the best bikers in the world do when they are simply pedaling hard.

So there’s that. Up the subsequent follow-up hill, through the stores of temptations — the cupcake boutique, the ice cream shop, the donut factory and more. I meandered back toward campus, turning by the old dorm that is now an apartment complex and work my way into a road full of traffic, including an intersection where I almost became a hood ornament. And then back to the quieter roads, past a golf course and the airport, onto another big road and then down the slow, gentle hill that means you’re almost home. There’s only one more big stretch after this, and that’s where a truck decided to get as close to me as possible and honk his horn. I passed him later and it was tempting to return the favor, but I didn’t. He was in a big truck, I was on a carbon frame.

Somewhere midway through the ride I challenged two guys on Harleys to a race. They just laaaughed.

One day I’m going to do a video of all of this. Nothing like a little multimedia humility as you work your way through the gears.

Post

Went to Niffer’s tonight, because I wanted steak fries. I was going to grill, but I had no charcoal. The realization of which also made me think Grilling for one is silly. I’d watched an episode of The Pacific last night and at one point a Marine gets a little reprieve from the horrors of island fighting and goes back to a hospital and is talking with a psychiatrist. There are fries. The Marine picks one up with a curiosity and amazement that turned into this bemused expression “I just saw all of the things I saw. Here’s a fry.”

Whenever a food is reduced and elevated like that, I figure you have to seek it out. So I wanted steak fries and Niffer’s provides. The waiter took my order — and I am the guy that orders without need of menu, so this is easy on him — and disappeared. A young lady brought my food. Another waiter offered me a refill. My guy was gone until it was time for the check. Behind the pole, above, you can see his arm. He was complaining of having less than $200 of sales for the night. “How is that even possible?” Oh I have an idea.

But I enjoy Niffer’s, this guy aside. It is the town’s quirky decor, with cutesy names on the straightforward menu place. It is one of the remaining locally authentic places found on the ever-shrinking list of “Places where we hung out when I was in school.” They are celebrating their 20th anniversary this year. I’ve ordered pretty much the same thing every time. Their first menu is hanging on the wall. That sandwich would have cost me about four bucks in 1991.

I suppose my first visit there was 15 years ago. Keely, the owner, was on the floor then as she still is now. Seldom is the place not hopping. Tonight was one of those nights, but I got there late, on a Wednesday and the university is between semesters. She comes to visit our table every so often. She doesn’t know me from anyone, but every so often she brings free food with her. Not much has changed about her place in most of that time.

Towns change. Businesses thrive and fail. People retire or get bought out or the rent gets too high or whatever. Graffiti is painted over. New people come and institutionalize their memories as being The Memory of how it should all be just so. You can’t begrudge them that, but you’d like it if a few more things had remained, all the same.

Learned the magazine to which I submitted an article last night is going to run another essay I wrote earlier this year. It actually relates to the idea above, which is both coincidental and sad. Not every part of my day is like that, I promise. Re-reading the thing, though, I cringed at a few points and beamed with pride at a few others. I wrote that. It is a running goal, write something with sentiment that doesn’t become maudlin.


26
Apr 11

Picture day (Show and tell)

ToniceOcie

This weekend my grandmother was talking to The Yankee about how she used to decorate her trees for the grandkids at Easter. You see it every now and then still, but when we were young this became the colorful yard decor of spring. My grandmother strung plastic eggs through her giant show trees on colorful strands of yarn.

She invented this decoration. Ask her, she’ll tell you.

Anyway. My grandmother went on the search for photographs to complete the story. Before my grandmother’s birthday dinner I looked through a few of the pictures myself, which is how I ran across this one.

These are my great-grandparents. The back of the photograph said it was their 60th anniversary, which would put this snapshot in early 2000. He died just under two years later. She died earlier this year. He was a farmer, she was a homemaker. I’ve written about them here from time to time, so I’ll try not to repeat myself. In sum, they were sweet, lovely, kind, gentle, Christian people. I miss them a lot.

Just to put all the pictures from around the site in one post …

I found this picture of them last Christmas at my aunt and uncle’s home. This would have been their youngest grandchild, if I am not mistaken:

ToniceOcie

This one is on the wall at their home. My great-grandfather was going off to Europe as a medic. The little boy is my grandfather.

ToniceOcie

As far as we know this is the last picture of the two of them together. We buried them each with a print.

ToniceOcie

(None of these are particularly sharp, obviously. With the exception of the last photograph they are all cell phone pictures of a print. The last picture is an upsized version of a digital image that’s been floating on my hard drive for a decade.)


22
Apr 11

Under north Alabama

Thirty miles on the bike this morning. I toyed with the idea of 40, but glad I decided against it. The theory is that there are always 10 more miles in me somewhere. And I think that’s true. Feeling achy? Pedal 10 more. Got a cramp? Readjust and push through for 10 more. Feeling dehydrated? Ten more, no problem.

But then I thought, Ya know. You’re going to be in the car a lot today. Maybe you shouldn’t find any more reasons to cramp up mid-drive.

And so it was. And I did not have any uncomfortableness as we ventured to north Alabama this evening. There’s a birthday to celebrate tomorrow. We got to my grandparents in time for dinner — they chose the nearby catfish joint, which has become a regular destination.

The hush puppies are a bit overly greasy, but otherwise the place is good. Swamp John’s started as catfish in a gas station. (You can do that in this part of the world, and it is good. If you know what you’re looking for.) He started catering, selling out and now has three restaurants in the northwestern corner of the state. He’s done that in a decade. And he’s done that in a place where catfish is a staple of the diet, so it isn’t as if there’s no competition. There are at least a dozen other catfish joints in the county, says the all-knowing Google Maps.

This store has a mural covering a back wall of the place that features the nearby TVA dam. Be sure you notice it, or someone will point it out to you. The place just down the road, Newbern’s, has a large panoramic photograph of when the dam was being built as a WPA project.

For years I imagined all of these places pulled their product out of the Tennessee River. I knew better, but it was more fun that way. It is all farm-raised, even my aunt’s place in the next town over, where the creek drips right through their backyard. I’d never given much thought to where these places must get their shrimp. Being 350 miles inland would push it a bit for being catch-of-the-hour.

We cleaned up my grandmother’s hydrangea. She has a giant patio off her back porch, which is hemmed on three sides by privacy fences. They aren’t enclosed, but afford you access at any corner. In my life there have been two fences there, a brutally bad red fence and a natural color that’s in place now. It is starting to age a bit, too, though. At one corner of the fence there is this giant plant which always provided a natural speed bump for rambunctious children. My grandmother could grow anything. She could take the lettuce from her salad at the catfish place, plant it in the ground and win a prize with it before the season was over. Everyone knew it, everyone admired it and even the kids knew not to mess with her flowers. If you were playing tag, you had to negotiate that corner carefully, or sprint the length of the fence for the next opening. The bush is so big now, though, that passage is impossible.

So we’re snipping off old growth and breaking up stalks and limbs and my mother, in one of her well-timed moments of spontaneity, says “Let’s go down into the fallout shelter.”

I’ve never been down there. It has been in that yard since my mother was a child, and has always been a mystery and a focal point of yard play, but I have never been invited into the mysterious metal caverns until today. Everyone seemed shocked by this, which is odd, because no one ever offered me a tour. And anything mysterious or old or some place I’m not supposed to go, is a place in which I’m interested.

I have pictures.

Shelter

This was a four bed shelter, and this is about half of the space. Note the support beam down low with now decades old canned vegetables. Some of them have failed seals, but some look pretty good. We opened one of the ones that still looked promising. The beans smelled fresh, at least.

Shelter

In this box: enough food and water for one person for 14 days. (If you could supplement the supplementary food with some other calories and you didn’t mind being thirsty for two weeks.

Shelter

This is the hand crank to recycle the air. The mechanized part is still free. My mother says she remembers the sound. As best she recalls the shelter was installed around the time of the Cuban missile crisis, but they had it primarily for the area’s stormy weather.

Shelter

There was a bag of cereal samplers down there. Eighteen packages of 12 favorites. I couldn’t wait to see the logos and the fonts.

Shelter

But this bag of cereal had been down there for decades. The shelter was clean enough for being underground, well-built and dry, but hardly sterile. Time marches on, and it crunched through the flakes and raisins and left nothing behind. What little moisture was in the shelter probably came from the breakdown of the contents in that cereal bag. Opening the thing, gently as I tried, destroyed all of the thin cardboard inside.

Shelter

Remember, it isn’t what you know, but who you know, and I know Crackle.

Shelter

Sugar Stars and OKs. No one remembers these cereals. The things you note, though, are the Hannah Barbera character endorsements and how much sugar figured into the name of things in the middle of the 20th century.

Shelter

Sugar Smacks. I remember these from my own childhood. They were renamed Honey Smacks in the 1980s when we decided to get healthy. Or at least when we decided marketing makes us healthy. Then they were simply known as Smacks for a while. And now they are Honey Smacks again. Healthy! But not really.

If you’re looking to carbon date the stuff we found down there, a church flier referenced a local radio station that only used those particular call letters during the first part of the 1960s. Quick Draw carried the Sugar Smacks brand from 1961 through 1965.

More pictures, and the birthday party, tomorrow.


18
Apr 11

Random Mondayness

I interviewed a former Heisman trophy winner this morning. Had a very nice chat. When I type up the notes in the next few days I’ll give you a little more insight into the piece, which is a freelance article I’ve been asked to write for a summer publication. So come back for more details on that later.

Hint: It was not Gino Torretta. He had a similar outcome to his post-Heisman bowl game, however. Like Torretta, it happened in the Sugar Bowl.

Much of the rest of the day was spent making recruiting phone calls, reading and grading. These things have seemed to take over most everything lately. But that’s fine. I enjoy talking with prospective students, though I get a lot of machines and write a lot of email. I do love to read. And grading is … well … everyone needs to have things graded.

This evening I visited the Galleria for the first time in probably a year or more. On Twitter I wrote, “Places I’ve been less crowded than this mall: Nevada desert, Belizian rain forest, Alabama library, IRS parties.” It was amazing how dead most of the place was.

Just for context, I worked there for part of my senior year in high school. A classmate helped me land the easy job of selling coupon books in those little mid-mall kiosks. You don’t antagonize people, you wait patiently for them to come to you. And the hourly pay, for a high school student, was extravagant. (I think I was making about $9 an hour.) Anyway, one night while I was not selling coupon books to the random passers by, a famous Southern winter storm descended upon us. Everything closed up quickly. This was like that. (Incidentally, that particular night, there was no snow if I remember correctly.)

There was no bad weather tonight, either. Just the economy, the Internet and people tired of malls, apparently.

I went looking for clothes sales. Finding none, I also left the mall.

Speaking of mall culture … Who’s ready for a third in Bill & Ted’s storyline? Besides Keanu, I mean.

“When we last got together, part of it was that Bill and Ted were supposed to have written the song that saved the world, and it hasn’t happened. … So they’ve now become kind of possessed by trying to do that. Then there’s an element of time and they have to go back.”

Ghostbusters III doesn’t look like a bad idea in comparison, now, does it?


17
Apr 11

Catching Up

Storm

A new warning came down Friday that a line of storms would bring wind and hail. So, naturally, you go outside.

Hail

And we might not have received the 2.5-inch diameter hail we were promised …

Hail

But this was painful enough. We’re standing in the garage, between our cars and the ice starts racing down from the sky. Brian’s car is in the driveway, unprotected by the safety of any roofing or tree limbs.

A tarp! I have a tarp!

Knowing that hail storms are brief, but violent, I took the most direct route, which was around the exterior of the house. Barefoot. And when I got to the back of the house it really started coming down. And that began to sting. Hail on soft, moist earth isn’t so bad, even for a tenderfoot. Hail on cement is not a lot of fun.

I race back, now covering my head with the tarp.

I have a tarp! I need a plan!

We decided to cover the windshield.

About eight seconds after we have the great green piece of protective plastic spread out evenly — which exposed tender skin to more angry ice — the hail stopped falling. The yard was covered. There were abnormally large piles of the stuff everywhere. There was an unearthly moisture in the air as the hail steamed itself into oblivion. It looked like an X-Files setting.

The car was undamaged.

Tigers

The Yankee got these two tigers from the balloon guy at Niffer’s the other night. We see him there often. This has become his regular gig the last few years. On weekends he is at the baseball stadium in clown makeup making balloons. He’s often here or at parties, or delivering a manifesto on the current political climate, while he makes a balloon beanie hat. The guy’s talented. He said it took him about two years before his hands could create while he chatted with customers.

Nice guy. He carries a duffle bag stuffed full of balloons. He said he spends thousands of dollars a year on the stuff. This is his job.

There’s a feature story in that guy.

HollowayTwitty

I found her, in the checkout line at the grocery store, reading the Enquirer. Hard to believe this has been six years. Beth Holloway has a new show coming out. (The good people at WBRC struggled with the math on that story.)

“Vanished with Beth Holloway,” will follow real life cases of missing persons; digging into the mysteries behind them and searching for clues to solve the cases.

I liked it better when John Walsh and Robert Stack did that show.

If anything, she’s proved it isn’t hard to sneak into a Peruvian jail.