friends


28
Jul 12

Some stories

Thinking of some of my word nerd friends, I’m going to work in a word I like, one that crept up elsewhere today and sounds fun to say. I mean the feeling of the word and not the construct of the definition the language has provided. It would ordinarily never find a special place in this ordinary blog.

Here is that word: misanthrope.

It is a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society. A philanthropist, meanwhile, is of course, a person who tries to promote the welfare of others. We probably all know people of both kinds.

I’ve yet to meet an anthrope, however.

It reminded me, for some reason, of when I was a public speaker — one of the things I wish I were better at — I would speak to a lot of high school kids. This was when I was in college or even high school myself, which is no easy thing. Without a wide separation between the speaker and audience you have a tenuous dynamic, and, what’s more, delivering a speech to your peers is a bit of an odd experience for the speaker.

Anyway. Before the speeches I’d always talk to the important people and visit with people that liked to shake hands and do all of that. When I could I’d find the most trusting kids there and let them challenge me: give me five words I can’t get in this speech. I’d “bet” them a dollar or something, just for laughs, and take their random words: suitcase, picket fence, monster trucks, whatever.

Then there was inevitably a place in the speech where I could drop in a list of outlandish words. If I couldn’t get them all in casually, I could do it rhetorically: “You could think the most important thing on earth are puppies or suitcases or picket fences or high yield interest rates or monster trucks or misanthropes.” It was inane, but an easy private giggle.

(I never took money off of anyone. I abhor gambling. I have a distaste for all manner of betting that involves an actual exchange, I don’t even like to linger near slot machines to admire the lights and sounds, so don’t think I was stealing from trusting kids. It was something funny to do. And maybe it kept someone from being taken in by a real con.)

Every now and then, too, one of those lists of words bubbles up in my memory. They’re always worth a smile. People will think up the most random terms when you ask them to think that way.

From the PC World has Caught Up With Us Department: Friends of ours just retrieved their daughter from summer camp, where she no doubt made up many silly words and spoke in a vocabulary full of pop culture references you and I wouldn’t understand. One suspects there was swimming, and a careful attempt by camp counselors to avoid poisons of oak and ivy.

You hope the kids had S’mores and other delightful things. There was sinking. Perhaps some canoeing. The whole summer camp routine.

Except, we were told, for ghost stories.

Ghost stories are right out.

It seems that some years back, at this camp or another one, no one was clear, a particularly good ghost story was told and that turned into a problem for one of the kids. That child was quickly no doubt noticed, stigmatized and isolated, just in case things took a turn toward Lord of the Flies.

Then that poor child’s parents (and wouldn’t you like to know what kind of people they are?) found out about it. Soon after the family’s lawyer found out about it …

And now they just tell lawyer stories at camp.

I watched a movie a few days back I’ve been meaning to mention. One of those middle-of-the-day movie channel listings that never got a lot of wide publicity when it was in theaters. But it was the middle of the day, I haven’t been able to do much post-surgery, it had decent actors — and also Ben Affleck playing Ben Affleck — and was topical, so fine. The Company Men:

Yesterday was business as usual. But today, life has other plans.

So this is a big company and Affleck’s character is the first to get downsized as a redundancy. He was a hot shot sales broker who’s now adrift with a family and a mortgage he can’t afford.

“I’m a 37-year-old, unemployed loser,” he tells his wife, and himself, when he hits bottom.

And then Chris Cooper gets canned. Cooper is the kind of actor that, if I made movies, could take any role in my production he wanted. I like his work, even when he isn’t even trying hard. He tries a few things here and almost all of them are splendid. He’s a part of the old guard, you see, he came up when this big public company was just a small ship building outfit. And now he’s an executive nearing 60 and what is he supposed to do?

“I’ve got one kid in college and another going in the fall,” he worries. And he was worried when the first round of cuts didn’t even nab him.

And then there’s Tommy Lee Jones, who was one of the original people from the company. He’s the old guy with a conscience, sorta, making waves until he’s edged out by his best friend. But as Craig T. Nelson’s evil boss character reminds him, his stock options are worth millions.

So the movie is about finding yourself, or trying to, when you have lost this important part of the western cultural identity.

Kevin Costner is in this movie too. He’s a contractor. Ben Affleck’s brother-in-law. He gives him, and some other down on their luck guys, a few jobs in the winter time. He’s working overtime on a house just to get the house done so he can pay his small crew. Meanwhile the company that’s cutting people is expanding into glorious new headquarters.

The movie is meant to be antagonistic toward the evil, misanthropic (there’s that word again) corporate world. It means to portray the small business owner, Costner, who didn’t build that, as a port in the storm. The guy that does something, the man that builds something with his own hands, he’s a lot more sure of himself than a mindless corporate automaton who only moves phantom numbers.

“Easy work, huh Bobby? Pretty much like moving comp reports from the inbox to the outbox.”

Except Costner’s dealing with his own tempest. But he’s one of the good guys, and the movie all but forgets him. He’s all but a Greek hero, you see, because the economy is off — People getting fired or fear for their jobs don’t expand their kitchens, which then impacts the hardware store, so they fire a few people, and also the carpenter, this pervasive fear just manages to seep into every aspect of a community, it is almost as if there should be some economic name for that phenomena — but he’s still working hard so he can help out the even littler little guy. But he’s being played by one of the two biggest actors in the movie and is a great story, so let’s almost ignore him. It was odd.

It is nice, once in a while, to see a movie tell a story without a lot of explosions. It had that going for it. And, also, Ben Affleck.


19
Jul 12

Reflex is a dangerous thing

I had a great day yesterday, coaxing myself into being studiously lazy. This, I thought over and over, will be good for my arm. So I did my little therapy and didn’t overdo it otherwise.

It is easy to overdo it, actually. Even the smallest general exertion can wear me down right now. I suppose that is the surgery and everything that comes with it. Or maybe I just pound the ground when I walk and my shoulder is tired of absorbing things. It feels like there’s a giant water balloon in there. If I fell in a pool right now I’d sink left shoulder first, I’m certain. Between that and being transfixed by the swelling and self conscious about caring for it have entirely changed my self-perception.

I talked with some of the little kids in my family on the phone today. Yes, I’m OK. No, I’m not in the hospital. Yes, I had surgery. Yeah, that hurt a bit. The helmet kept me from having truly horrendous, medical problems and I am very lucky, so wear your helmet, kiddos. This is my role to the next generation in the family, serving as a cautionary tale.

They asked me if I’d come ride with them at their house when I could. Of course I will. But for now I have to take it easy and rest and do everything one-handed and so on.

And then I was making myself a little grape snack later in the evening. I rinsed off the beautiful green treats and dropped them in a mug. I overfilled the mug and the last three grapes rolled off the mound, onto the counter and ultimately the floor. Naturally I reached out to try to catch them. Of course my left hand was the closest. And this produced the most remarkable pain in my shoulder and collarbone, the site of my Monday surgical procedure.

grapes

I spent the next few seconds yelling, and the next few moments remembering to breathe. Finally I had to look at the incision. Did I tear it? No. Did I break something? I don’t think so, there’s titanium in there now, after all, but still, this sensation … Did it hurt?

For four hours.

So, no, I’m not going to write about this every day. I’ll deliberately find other things to write about because I know you don’t care that much. But it is important to remember: don’t do that. Sometimes you have to allow yourself to lose a little produce. Moving without thinking can be a remarkably painful thing.

At least I can sleep in my bed again. Did that for the first time since I wrecked. And I slept about six hours last night, which might also be the best rest I’ve had in a week. Between that and already feeling improvements, morale is definitely high.

We walked around outside for a few minutes today talking about trees and shade and wondering why our elm sheds so much. If ever you need kindling, we can set you up. How there’s any tree left up in the canopy is a mystery.

Brian stopped by for a few minutes, on the way from here to there. He did not want to see my incision — not that I blame him — but we of course discussed the recovery since he was there two weeks ago for the injury.

Also this evening we visited the little vegetable store this that is tacked onto one of the plant nurseries in town. I took a lot of quick pictures there to post later on the Tumblr blog. I finished uploading the discarding fishing lures I found on the pier at Orange Beach there today, so it needs new content.

So be sure to surf over to my Tumblr and check that out. And if those pictures don’t captivate you, there’s always Twitter.

More, as they say, tomorrow!


18
Jul 12

Taking it easy

Those are my orders. Saw the orthopedist today, who told me to my incision looks good. We saw that for the first time today, it is much larger than we’d anticipated.

I am to lift nothing heavier than a glass of water. And I have been given gravity/pendulum therapy.

Bend over at the waist, let your arm dang freely. Move your hand back and forth, left and right, front and back and in circles. Do this daily. That’s my therapy for the first week. He did not tell me how many times a day to do this, or how many reps of each. I’d like a little more precision …

I can ride my bike in five or six weeks he said and a trainer in two. My complete recovery time, he said, was 12 weeks, making this the longest personal recovery of anything I can recall.

Anyway, since I’m sitting comfortably and resting, here is a picture. This is the tangerine bonsai tree that Kelly sent us:

bonsai

She’s so very wonderfully giving and thoughtful. Kelly says it will eventually yield us dainty fruits to enjoy. Also, I must take care of it daily:

Water daily through hot spells and every other day in the spring and fall. As needed in the winter. A well balanced liquid fertilizer should be used with every 2nd or 3rd watering. Citrus in general are heavy feeders, especially iron, manganese and zinc. The local nursery should have an adequate liquid feed available.

[…]

Prune to shape as you desire, keeping in mind the small- scale size of the plant and its container. Flowers will appear from small shoots that originate where the leaves meet the stem. Flowers sporadically throughout the year, heaviest in the spring. Remove the tree from its pot every 2-3 years and remove about 1/3 of the roots. Re-pot with a blended potting soil. This will encourage new roots and keep it growing happily.

Maybe I can trim a leaf with each week of recovery. Or is that too impatient for bonsai?


10
Jul 12

What I hurt in my bike wreck

My South Baldwin Regional Medical Center experience where, aside from the triage nurse, no one ever asked about a head injury and we never saw a doctor.

We wound up yesterday in the emergency room of a small regional hospital. When you can calmly walk yourself in, you think “This will do.”

A kind volunteer points me to the paperwork. The Yankee has to fill it out. In two or three minutes the triage nurse calls me back. Pulse, blood pressure, temperature. I tell him what happened, complain about my pain. He asks if my neck hurts. It does not. He asks me if I hit my head. Yes, I brought my helmet. He asks me if there are any cognition problems? I tell him no. He asks if I want to go to X-ray or wait for the doctor to order it. This decision is apparently up to me, so why wait? Let’s do the X-ray.

Someone from radiology quickly comes along, plops me in a wheelchair and rolls me back to X-ray for two quick shots. I prepare my best Yogi Berra joke. “They did a brain scan. It came back negative.”

I go back to the waiting room.

Soon a room opens up. My guess is that the above has all taken place in 30 minutes, give or take. The Yankee and I go back to the examination room, leaving our lovely friends Brian and Mrs. Brown to sit in the waiting room. We tried to get them to stay at the condo, but you know how concerned, caring people are.

And now the real waiting begins.

A nurse comes and leaves. The administration lady comes. No, I do not have a last rites preference. And I appreciate the protocol, but that’s not happening in here today, thanks.

Later another nurse comes in with a syringe of morphine. She wants to shoot it in my hip, but she can’t find my hip.

She can’t find my hip.

This … nurse … who somehow was trusted with a needle … can’t find my hip.

I was ready to give myself the shot.

A physician’s assistant comes in later to tell us about the X-ray. I have broken my collar bone. She’s waiting to hear from an orthopedic surgeon. Not too long after this I pop a sweat. I get the dizzy, dry-mouth sensation. A passing staffer kindly helps move me from sitting on the edge of the bed to reclining in the bed. I’m in too much pain to do it myself.

The simple act of lying in a bed when you have a broken collarbone is just about impossible, by the way.

The morphine, which the nurse said would provide some relief in 30 minutes, didn’t do anything. And has done a lot of nothing for an hour or so. I suspect that either my metabolism is super-charged or she pumped me full of saline.

I sit up, but soon take another turn to that sweaty, nauseated sensation. Back on the bed I go. I’m on my right side because lying flat is unbearable. Someone comes along and stuffs a pillow behind my back for support. This was, in point of fact, the best thing since sliced bread.

The physician’s assistant eventually returns and apologizes about the no-show ortho. He’s operating. Well, that’s understandable. She said, though, that they pulled him out of a surgery to glance at my film. He suggested we get an orthopedic consult at home this week. After a while we saw the X-ray ourselves.

X-ray

The nurse who doesn’t know where hips are later brings a shot of dilaudid for the other hip. This painkiller, she predicts, will make me loopy. (It did not, but it did leave me tired, and occasionally left me at a loss for words.)

That same nurse then disappears to fetch something called an immobilizer. Over the long period of her absence we decided that the basement of this hospital is as hard to find as my hip. We’d later come to learn that my discharge papers were equally difficult to find.

After a while the nurse returns and struggles with the immobilizer for a period of time beyond comical bemusement in front of us before finally asking for help on how to use it. The immobilizer is a large elastic band that wraps around the torso. There is a cuff to keep your bicep close to your side. Another cuff keeps your wrist secured to your ribs. The idea is to keep your shoulder in one place. (This is challenging medical technology. There are three strips of velcro on it.)

After five hours — Five hours! — we were given a small prescription and my discharge papers. To my recollection no one ever looked at my road rash. There’s a mildly impressive case on my shoulder and arm. There’s a little more on my hip, knee and leg. Good thing we’d cleaned it up before going to the hospital.

Aside from the cursory triage question no one ever, ever, asked about my head. Ever. The farther away from the hospital I get, the more appalling that becomes.

We never saw a doctor.

On the wall in the exam room there was a note about the hospital’s goal was that we’d recommend them for emergency care needs. That’s a tough sell.

This deserves mention: everyone was courteous.


6
Jul 12

Travel day

Remember that childhood phenomenon where getting somewhere seemed to take for … ever? And then the return trip was always, somehow less interminable? That was like today. But we made it.

Gulf

We’re on Orange Beach for the weekend. A friend’s parents have a condo — and a private pier, and this makes us, as guests, feel like we’ve somehow arrived in a new class of citizenship — and they invited us to enjoy the sun and one of the most beautiful beaches in the world.

So we had breakfast this morning, loaded the car and drove for … ever. The company was great, though. We passed the time making fun of television news formulas. I’m driving and The Yankee and Brian are shooting videos saying things like “I’m here on this deserted street where, 12 hours ago, something happened.”

We got turned around several times when we were almost there — I blame the GPS. Made it in just in time for dinner, to buy some groceries, unpack, spend times with our too-cool hosts and then enjoy a little evening breeze.

We brought our bikes. I’m looking forward to taking advantage of the flat terrain and sneaking in a few good miles.

More tomorrow.