family


23
Dec 24

The assemblage of the 23rd

The in-laws are here for the holidays. My mother spent Thanksgiving here, and they are here for Christmas. It still feels strange to not travel everywhere for the holidays, but it is also nice to make some of these moments in our home.

And don’t underestimate the practical value of not being constantly on the move. That’s not what it is about, but sometimes that’s what it becomes, which is not what it is about.

If that makes sense.

Anyway, they arrived safely, brought some cold down with them, and we will have a fine old time this week.

I walked by the Dickensian village at just the right time today. I enjoy the village. I’d vote to keep them out for longer, just for the classic scenes and all of the little activities and details you can find. The designs are charming, the lights in them, in the evening, are a delight.

And, today, the sun streaming in was creating these lovely little shadows.

I wish we had the space to display them all. (We have a lot.) Alas, we have a Catzilla.

When I hauled the garbage can to the end of the drive last night, I looked up to see …

… not drones. (That’s Orion. And if this confuses you, get an app, or crack a book.)

Let’s talk about the bike. I did nothing for the first two weeks of December. It was, I thought, an uncharacteristically long lull, and it felt like it. I rode 21 whole miles the weekend before this, just to see if my legs and feet could remember how to make tiny circles. I got in 70 miles on two days last week, just to see if I still could. This weekend I pedaled my way through 72 more miles.

Now we get to the problem of the spreadsheet. Since I log all of these things — in about three different ways — I know precisely where I am. I know what the trend lines look like, what’s possible, what is beyond reach and, dangerously, what might be feasible, if I stretch.

And that’s always the dilemma. Is it authentic if I see those benchmarks coming and push just a little more to get there. Even if only barely?

This is what I can get to, if I ride a lot in this last week: a new-to-me round number. It’s a small amount, so I don’t even want to say it aloud. I could finish the year with the number of miles equaling the circumference of the earth, at this latitude, anyway. (Next year I’ll finish my first equatorial circle of the earth.) Doing all of that also means I could also set a new record for the month of December.

In all, it seems unlikely. I had that lull to start the month, and time is short.

But if I push, I thought as I pedaled through 30 more miles today, if I could somehow get 300 more miles this week …

That’s not a lot. Except, to me, it most definitely is.

That spreadsheet just sits here, taunting me.


20
Dec 24

Writing around the cats

We have not checked in on the kittehs this week, which is of course, my contractual obligation, and a serious oversight, considering they are the most popular regular feature on the site.

I haven’t taught site analytics in a while, but if I did, I could use this place’s humble numbers, and the bump the cats generate, as an example. Anyway, it’s a lazy day around here. Phoebe needs to catch a snooze. Just about any foot would do.

Poseidon is back to taking his afternoon naps on top of the armoire. Sorry to disturb you there, pal.

Yesterday, and today, we were in Connecticut. Now we are back here. And the cats, of course they noticed.

Last night was the Special Church Christmas party. My dear sweet mother-in-law runs a weekly program for people with various developmental disabilities. They do crafts and music therapy and all sorts of fun social stuff. At the Christmas party, Santa always shows up. And he was there last night, too.

After the party we went to their favorite Italian restaurant with some of the Special Church volunteers and the music therapist and had a lovely time. Today, we had a meeting with a friend and colleague at another university for an upcoming event they are hosting in February. We’re going to try to take some students and so we hashed out a few details over pizza.

It was an excuse to see our friend. And have pizza. We also discussed work a bit.

This evening we had a quiet dinner with the in-laws, and then they sent us packing. So we got back here just before midnight. Now this, and this weekend, and forever after, more grading.

I think I have the first two classes done. I’ll go through the scores one last time probably tomorrow. I have two other classes that wrap up on Monday, and their grades will be due by the end of the week or so. Happy holidays, students, I hope you earned the grade you wanted this year!

After that, there will be time for precisely four deep breaths, and then back to work.

Maybe five deep breaths. And possibly a nap. Just not on the armoire.


28
Nov 24

Happy Thanksgiving

My mother said there was no need to spend all day making a meal that we’d eat for just a few minutes, when we could just visit and enjoy the day together, instead. And this reasonable idea worked for everyone. Since I knew we were taking her to the Malaysian restaurant — now on the short list for a James Beard award, by the way — and I saw that they were offering a Thanksgiving carryout dinner, we thought we’d give it a try. It was a good choice.

Our takeaway Thanksgiving dinner was tasty this evening. The only thing that went wrong were the re-heating directions, which underestimated the amount of time a de-boned, stuffed duck needed to reach the appropriate temperature after sitting overnight at 38 degrees. But we managed. And this version of the classic Chinese Eight Treasure Duck was tasty. The leek and herb stuffing made the whole thing. I would enjoy this again.

We also had a kale with pomegranate tahini dressing, Wagyu fat mashed potatoes with duck gravy, and a surprisingly tasty root vegetable tart.

For dessert, my lovely bride made a peach crumble, from our own peach tree.

Even in our small group of three, we enjoyed a family continuity. We sat at the dining room table that my grandparents bought for my mother, which has since been handed down to me. Above us there was a picture of my great-grandparents’ home, framed from some of the wood salvaged from that old place. Behind me sat some of the other small lived things that have made up the memories of our lives. Not just mine, or even my mother’s, but also some of the items that have come to The Yankee over the years.

This weekend we’ll mark 18 months in our new home, which means, for me, 18 months of introspection about the details of homes and the lives lived in them. This is our second Thanksgiving here. Last year we hosted my in-laws. And so now we’re having our second Thanksgiving guest. Two successful Thanksgivings. And this, repetition and pleasant memories, are how traditions form.

I think about that a lot in this house, which raised a family of five for two decades before the previous owners’ children flew from the nest. They’re everywhere in this house, of course, and they should be. And now, slowly, then suddenly, so are we.

I have no idea, of course, about how that family marks Thanksgiving. Being sentimental, I wish I did know. Incorporation is how traditions grow. But whatever those people do, I hope they’ve had a fine time doing it this week, as well. And I hope you have had a fine time in keeping your traditions, as well.

Even when the menu changes, when the locations move, or the guest list is altered, traditions can continue. Traditions are intentional. Traditions are in the spirit of things.


27
Nov 24

Thanksgiving Eve

Our god-nephews (just go with it) have a light like this in their bedroom. Last Christmas they were of the age where they wanted to give you a tour of their room and all of their treasures. I had the privilege of meeting many of their action figures and see several of their creative projects. But this light stole the show. And so, as a joke, I ordered one for Christmas last year.

Ours has made a life for itself in the living room. I’ve recently discovered that you can program it to turn on and off at specific times. And, of course, you can control the colors through your phone. (Because what light doesn’t need an app?)

I think these were two of the better color schemes I saw recently.

My mother flew in yesterday for Thanksgiving. I picked her up at the airport, and we have enjoyed our visit so far. She ran some errands with my lovely bride this morning. I spent a little time finishing up the week’s grading. I even got ahead of things and wrote a few notes for classes next week. Also, I had a Zoom call with a student, as well. It has been a productive day.

This evening we went across the river and had Malaysian food. We met a friend there for dinner a few weeks ago and, just a bite or two in, I thought she would like this, so we’re back. And we ordered all of the same things. And she enjoyed it immensely, because it is good stuff.

When at Kampar, try the Nasi Lemak.

Essentially a fragrant, flavorful, magical packet of Malaysian awesomeness! Coconut cream-soaked rice topped with sambal, roasted peanuts, crispy anchovies and hard-boiled egg, all neatly wrapped in a fresh banana leaf.

Then get:

Achat
Spicy Nyonya pickled vegetables. Ange’s aunt’s recipe!

Rendang Daging
Braised beef in spices and coconut cream (our rendang is slow-cooked for at least 6 hours for the best flavor).

Ayam Goreng Berempah
Spice marinated fried chicken with sambal tomato.

We visited a cidery after dinner and just had ourselves a nice little evening in a quiet and empty Philadelphia. Everyone had gone somewhere for the holidays, it seems.

We enjoyed Kampar so much that we ordered their takeout Thanksgiving meal for tomorrow. No cooking, a new flavor profile, they even provided reheating directions. What could go wrong?

Nothing. Nothing can go wrong.

Happy Thanksgiving!


26
Nov 24

This week may be brief

I’ve gotten 58 miles on the bike the last two days, which may be the last mild weather days we’ll have for a while. Yesterday’s ride was fine, I won’t write sonnets about it, but it was a good ride. Today’s was not good, and so I am wandering around hoping it warms up, just a bit, because there’s no way that can be the last outdoor ride of the year.

The views were worth it.

My mother flew in this afternoon. I went to the airport to pick her up and everything. She’s here for a nice quite Thanksgiving visit, and I also have plenty of school work to do, as well. So things might be light around here for the next few days.

You’ll understand.