collarbone


27
Aug 13

The bone scan

The new orthopedic surgeon sent me in for a bone scan today.

Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, if you haven’t been paying close attention. We know a physical therapist who gave me a once over, some year-plus after my collarbone and shoulder surgery. First thing he did was touch the hardware, which meant the second thing that almost happened was me hurting him back.

But, because he was “a professional” and “just doing his job” we accept that he deliberately hurts people.

I kid. But only just.

So he sends me to a nationally-renowned guy. That surgeon tested my rotator cuff and my nerves and pronounced them good. He took an X-ray and we discussed all of the usual complaints. And, believe me, a year into this stuff I’m tired of complaining about it.

So it is either the hardware, muscular or a bone issue, he said. Let’s schedule you a bone scan.

That was last week, and so today was the bone scan.

This is how a bone scan works.

You fill out paperwork in the ground floor lobby. Then they send you up to a second floor radiology lobby. And there you fill out more paperwork.

Someone comes along and takes you through a second door and down another elevator to the radiology department. The people there have a good sense of humor about all this. They’re in the dungeon. They figure no one will ever find them down there. That’s not a bad thing unless the building caves in, and so on.

You’re shuttled into a windowless room that is 16 x 18. I know this because I was on my back long enough to measure the tiles. They give you a little injection into the back of your hand. This is the radioactive material.

Yup. Stay away from me, kids!

They put you on your back on a narrow curved bench. It gets narrower because it has to move under the Siemens machine that is scanning your bones. In order to move, part of the bench on either side disappears. Now, I have sufficiently broad shoulders that I am hanging off both sides of the bench.

So I tuck my left hand under the small of my back because it has to go somewhere, right? That’s not good, they say. Try your pocket. Also not good, we learned.

They then wrap me in some stretchy fabric to keep me in place. I’m cocooned! And now this large, featureless square of metal with Siemens stamped on the side is descending over my head and upper body. This is a giant, hospital industrial green square. The only thing to look at is a tiny plus sign in the center of the surface area.

This is the quick shot, just to see where the radiation goes in my muscles.

They dismissed me for lunch, where I could do anything I liked, but I had to come back right after that for more extensive scans.

Did I mention they’ve set me lose on the world with radiation coursing through my veins?

So I did everything for the rest of the day with the alias Isa Tope.

After lunch it was back to the radiation lobby, where the radiologist met me once again. Her name is Star. Her last name is not van Allen, but it does strike you as the perfect name for a radiologist. She’s been working there for seven years.

I said I took my wife out for lunch …

“Awww.”

But she wanted chicken fingers and I told her that the radiologists told us I could eat anything but chicken fingers.

“You did not!”

Back on the magically disappearing bench. Back inside the swaddling, which for this much longer scan came to take on the feel of a mummification. And that giant, featureless Siemens square. I couldn’t figure out the sensation before, but I had an hour or more to contemplate it this time. It was like being squished like a bug, only in slow motion.

Star said “It is important you don’t move.” I told her it was obvious she’d not discussed this procedure with my mother or anyone else that knows me. She said I took a nap. Somehow I doubt that.

She turned the machine off and unwrapped the great big stretchy linens that had been holding me in place.

She walked me back to the lobby and said the preliminary examination suggested I had all my bones. (The first small victories are always the sweetest.) I asked her if I would sprout a tail, or turn green.

She said she’d never had that happened, but really wanted to see it, just once.

I figure we give it a day, and if I don’t lose my melatonin or sprout a third thumb by tomorrow evening I’ll be in the clear.

And next week I have to go see the orthopedic doctor so he can tell me if my bones are healed.

My bet: yes.


21
Aug 13

Six to eight weeks you say?

Had a morning appointment. Showed up right on time, owing to the slow car in front of me, the other car that couldn’t figure out turning lanes and a search for a parking space that could be described as too-warm porridge.

Visited with the nice lady sitting in the desk inside the fish bowl. She took my insurance card — because this is my third orthopedic guy to check out my shoulder and collar bone. In return she gave me the clipboard of paperwork. What are you allergic to? Have you had an of these diseases? Did your paternal great-great-uncle have any skin sensitivities to latex?

So you do all that, you know the drill. And then you wait for your name to be called. Other names are called. You start playing the same game you do at a restaurant. “They came in after we did and they’re already eating!”

I decided that, at 75 minutes, I would go ask when my 10:30 appointment was going to take place. At 74 minutes they finally called me back.

And that’s just the waiting room wait, of course. Wouldn’t it be great if the doctor was already in the examination room and he was waiting on you?

Another X-ray. And then a spirited round of playing with the display knee joint sitting in the exam room.

The doctor finally comes in.

“Tell me everything. Start at the beginning.”

So we talked about the last year. He tested for nerve damage and said there was none. He tested for rotator cuff problems and said there were none. He touched my hardware and I decided I’m going to pinch, hard, the next person that does that.

He looked at my X-ray and said things look good there.

The problems, he said, are muscular, hardware or skeletal. He said he just took a plate out of someone’s collarbone that was so severe the poor guy couldn’t wear a jacket. Said the guy felt better the night of that removal. I don’t think that’s my problem. I’m guessing 90 percent of my issues are muscular.

But first we’re going to test for the skeletal. Sometime next week I have to have a bone scan. No idea what that’s about.

Oh. Radiation. Patience. One thing you don’t want and one thing I need more of.

Also, this doctor, who is apparently nationally renowned for shoulder surgeries, says I should have been in a sling for six to eight weeks. Had him repeat that.

My surgeon had me out of my immobilizer in a week. (I had to ask. I couldn’t remember. I don’t remember a lot.)

I take it I shouldn’t be happy with that.

Indian for lunch. School stuff for the rest of the day. Speaking of school:

Here’s the official release. Pat Sullivan almost beat his alma mater on the last trip. He put a huge scare into Auburn for 45 minutes. It was a great performance.

The Auburn baseball schedule was released today.

More sports: Google wants to buy the rights to put the NFL on YouTube. Remember where you were when this happens.

We had dinner with a friend — who will remain nameless because of this transgression — and standing in the parking lot, under the stars and lightning, we learned he’d never heard this song.

I did not realize you could be in your 30s and say that.


16
Jul 13

Have you noticed?

It is slow here. Have you noticed? July is slow. I am doing other things, like catching up on old posts and catching up on email — there’s a special filter in my email called “You thought you were done, but no” — and catching up on other important things.

Plus, none of it, so far, is terribly exciting. I’m riding and running, but that’s about it. So July is slow. (Not unlike my riding and running.) Have you noticed?

But I did want to say this: One year ago today I was having surgery, getting titanium and screws, thank you very much, because 53 weeks ago today I was falling, destroying my collarbone, hurting my shoulder and whacking my head on asphalt.

So after a year of that: six months of fuzzy memories — and some periods I just don’t really recall at all — and lots of travel for work and pleasure, physical therapy, impatience and somewhat starting to feel like myself again, finally starting to ride again and wondering, for months, if I was ever going to really feel like myself again … I kinda do.

I still have some muscular issues in my shoulder, but I carry stress there anyway. I have, on occasion, finally started to notice the absence of pain in my collarbone. The surgeon said six months to a year, but I’d given up on all of that.

Last month, though, for about an hour one day while snorkeling, I realized that nothing was hurting. And it had been 11 months since I could say that. Nothing. Hurt. (It is hard to pry me out of the water anyway, but I almost willfully got left behind that day. The absence of pain is a pretty incredible feeling on its own.)

This week I’ve noticed a few times where I have to willfully turn my attention to my shoulder and my collarbone. Are you still there? I don’t think I notice you right now.

This dawned on me last night. Delightful progress.

Of course right now that section of my upper body is singing the tune I’ve come to know so well this year. It has been that kind of year.

But it is getting better. It isn’t perfect, but it is better.


10
Jan 13

A review up top, a ride below

About the map: I spent an afternoon last weekend building that. I had to make the markers myself, so all of those little pins had some sort of sequence to them. I’d found my great-grandfather’s unit history online, and it goes day-by-day, so I could follow along, village by village, during his time in Europe.

And I found all of that because a friend of mine, a history grad, suggested I go to the county courthouse where he would have filed his discharge papers when he came home in 1945. Soldiers, he said, did that with more diligence back then.

So at Christmas I went to the appropriate courthouse. I looked on the sign in the lobby and determined it was in the old building. A security guard told me to go up to the fifth floor. Two ladies there told me I needed to be one more building over, in Veterans Affairs.

I walked over to Veterans Affairs and a very nice lady dropped everything to try and help me. The problem is that my great-grandfather’s records were lost in a huge fire in the 1970s. The government, if you formalize a request, asks for your help in rebuilding their records. If I had the records I’d be happy too. What I do have is his enlistment card at Ft. McPherson in Georgia. I have two references of him in the local newspaper — once when he shipped out and another in a list of local servicemen wounded in battle. I have his dates of birth and death and his serial number.

So the very nice lady at Veterans Affairs, just a few days before Christmas, burns up the phones. She calls every surrounding VA office, the VFW, we fill out forms. She found, in one of her phone calls, my great-grandfather’s discharge papers.

Some other lady, on a very cold day, had to go outside to an onsite storage facility to pull the file. She faxed it over. And, together, the nice VA lady and I pored over every line, taking turns to explain different aspects of the mysterious codes to one another. She’d become invested in the search, and was almost as emotional about it as I was. The DD-214 had the date he shipped out, where he returned home and, before that, the date he was wounded — January, Belgium, the Bulge.

Never liked reading about the Bulge, now I have to become well-versed in it.

His discharge papers had his unit, finding the unit history allowed for the creation of the map. Now I know he spent more time convalescing in a hospital in Georgia than he did getting shot at. Maybe that means some of his family was able to go to south Georgia and see him. Now I know he had Christmas in Metz, which was surely not where he wanted to be, but better than dreading mortar shells.

I wonder how much of Europe this country boy with little education saw before he was put into an active unit. Probably not much, but still, I like this idea of my great-grandfather, at 24 and away from home for the first time in his life, seeing Paris. Even if he did, the best view was probably his farm when he got back home near the end of 1945.

I came to this information 12 years after he died, mostly because he was not the sort to talk about his experience in the war and, in my early 20s, I wasn’t quite ready to find these things out. Sometimes we have to move sooner, the present is what is present.

Visited my ortho today. Actually made him sit down and talk to me for a few minutes. I did this by complaining. It would have been preferable if he’d listened better months ago, when I was also complaining. But I finally got him to think about the things beyond just my collarbone.

I have the muscle spasms, you see, exacerbated by exertion and driving. It doesn’t take much to do too much and I tend to have to drive a fair amount. He asked about working out, I told him not so much, because of the muscular problems. I told him I have only just this week started riding my bike — which I should have been doing in September or so — because of my back.

He said maybe it is a degenerative disc problem. You are at that age —

Let me stop you right there, doc. I saw another ortho over the break who specifically looked at the neck and that isn’t the problem.

So I got another prescription, this one for inflammation. I was so pleased with the idea of not taking any more medication, too. He wants me to consider more therapy. We’ll see I guess. I’ve grown weary of the “Everyone’s recovery is different” answer. Almost as much as dealing with a slow recovery.

But, hey, after the visit to the doctor’s office I rode my bike a little bit. Today I felt like I could have done more, but I was sneaking in a few turns of the pedal in between rain and darkness.

Still waiting for my confidence to return on little things like diving into turns, riding one-handed and riding in the rain. So I have to wait out an afternoon shower. Maybe I’ll try the rain next week.

There’s a mail drop box a few miles from home so I stuffed an envelope in my jersey and rode up there and back, just getting in before night fell. This is my fourth ride back, none of them worth writing home about, all of them short, but this one could have been longer. It seems like my three short rides this week at least woke up my legs, if my neck is still sore.

That’s a question of posture. I want to look far into the distance, but the neck doesn’t want to be held like that just yet. So I have to look short, and then peer up as far as my eyes will go and only occasionally glance ahead. I haven’t decided how much of that literal pain in the neck is a muscular issue and how much is cranking my upper body in an unusual way so as to make sure that, this time, I don’t run over anything. It still feels like every little piece of debris is out to get me.

Silly, I know.


9
Jan 13

Clever title to come

Hey, did you notice? I updated all the photo galleries! I changed the font on the blog! And I added new banners to the top and bottom of this page! There are 36 headers and footers now. Refresh to see them all!

I also changed the site’s links to a server side include system. And I’ve tinkered with some other ideas too. These are productive times.

Rode a few miles on the bike. Not very many because I am still sore. Maybe someone will say differently, but there is a difference in suffering and hurting on a bicycle. I don’t mind the legs and the lungs and the feet and the seat. But my neck — which is connected to my collarbone and shoulder — that hurts. It is something about the necessary posture of cycling and whatever related muscular problems I’m enjoying.

Can’t even stay on the bike long enough yet to suffer, a point of honor when it comes to a bicycle, so I take it easy. Which is a good thing since my fitness is presently lousy.

So I did a little work on a paper, I cleaned out an inbox and made a lot of recruiting phone calls, talking to high school students who are looking for their college. I get the chance to talk up Samford, our journalism and broadcast and public relations programs, the student media, the new MBA program and more. Lots of good fun.

Had a long dinner at an Irish place with a friend, we talked sports and the rodeo and cannons, which just capped off a fine day.

Good thing, since tomorrow will be a lot like it.

Also, Justified, Justified, Justified: