adventures


28
Jul 10

We painted this …

We painted this!

That’s the kitchen, obviously, after yesterday’s work.

And this!

And here’s the dining room, after a second coat this morning. You know, it never occurred to me, the whole time we were there, to pull out my real camera. So, my apologies for the cell phone pictures. I’ll actually spend a few minutes with the camera function soon and learn how to use the thing properly.

We returned the ladder to Jeremy‘s grandfather. The lady of the house answered the door again. We’d talked briefly, as much as she wanted to chat with a young stranger, the other day. You can only be so charming, but then you’re still a stranger, you know? I made nice with her puppy today, so all was well. Being from a time and part of the world where your pedigree will tell you everything she needs to know about you, she asked me if I was related to Homer Smith. I assume she meant the football coach.

No ma’am, I said. But there’s just so many of us. I’m related to a Comer Smith, but that’s as close as I know how to get.

She asked where I was from. I tell her Birmingham, but my people are in northwest Alabama. She knows the place. She used to live there, too.

“Do you know the Thigpens?”

Everybody knows the Thigpens. That’s one of the big, branchiest family trees in that area.

I dated a Thigpen, once.

I may or may not have done that. My memory is foggy. Either way it sounded good. I thanked her profusely, helped get the dog back inside and we left to return to Birmingham. There is still packing to do. And so we had lunch, using a coupon for Surin West, thinking spicy hot coconut soup on a triple-digit day was a good plan.

It is always a good plan.

And then, back to the packing. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. And that light is attached to a train. And on that train is a crowd of people screaming “You’re not ready to move yet! But the time is at hand!”

And so you just accept it. Throw things in boxes. Wrap soft things around fragile things, eschew the detailed labeling system your organized wife has developed and just start doing.

The next step is to move everything that is ready in the house down to the garage. The heat index will only be over 100 degrees when I do that tomorrow.


27
Jul 10

The joys of home ownership

Painting was intended for people of sturdy emotional stock. How else can you explain away the unholy tendency of a material designed solely to please the eye which is represented in one color, is applied in another color and dries in a third? This says nothing of the swirls and the splotches and the missed spots.

The Yankee, my lovely bride, is convinced she loves painting. I know exactly where I come down on this particular skill and it is somewhere around the level of “Glad I’m not a carpenter.” She says she loves to paint, but her frustration would suggest otherwise. Last night she tried to paint part of the master bedroom, but the color of blue-hued blueness that Lowe’s offered was too blue. So this morning we visited again. The paint clerk immediately realized the error, acknowledged that there was no amount of water and milk dilution that was going to lighten this shade of pigment enough to our wishes and granted our money back on non-refundable paint.

So we visited Sherwin-Williams, where the cost is a bit higher, but they are ready to cover the earth, a bit of propaganda which no doubt irritates the green customers and the Earth Day types. (There was a splinter between them in 2003, they split into two factions, look it up.)

So we bought more paint for the bedroom and the proper paint for the library and the dining room. Lowe’s did not have the equivalent, so we picked it up from the place that gave us the handy online tool. The Yankee has been playing with it for days. You upload a picture, you highlight the wall portions (thereby protecting the furniture) and click a color on the wheel. You see a preview, the page gives you the name of a color and so on.

So it is like Photoshop? I asked.

“But with paint!”

Clearly she was in her element.

So we started painting again. The bedroom, which was an experience determined to wound the psyche. A now lighter color was painted over the darker color. The lighter color exhibited peculiar tendencies while drying. We considered hiring a painter. Fortunately for the wallet everyone was booked.

She moved on to the kitchen and the library. Having by this time finished with the ceiling fans project. I picked up our termite bond. I’d risked life and limb and probably several safety codes by standing on the very top of my borrowed ladder in my brand new home to tape off molding. I’d had the idea to invent tape smart enough to not stick to itself and generally done everything else I could to avoid painting. So, I began painting around the baseboards, windows and fireplace.

The kitchen went from a Barney purple and the future library went from a pale gold to a slate green. It matches the curtains. Incredibly, it also matches the color of the font on our family fireplace crock that we received as a Christmas present last year. I wonder if she’s noticed that yet. The bedroom, meanwhile, had dried to just the shade for which we’d hoped. Painting with your fingers crossed sometimes works in your favor, though you tend to drip paint in odd places.

We had dinner, and the romance of new home life continued. What we made for dinner tonight called for a can of tomatoes. Of all of the things my thoughtful, prepared and intelligent bride brought with us this trip the one thing she did not consider was a can opener. (I don’t say this to blame her, merely to point out that she’d packed everything else we could possibly need.)

So I opened the tomatoes the old fashioned way: with a hammer and screwdriver.

Dining room paint

After dinner we painted some more. The dining room. Note the excellent tape work done way up high. I climbed up there for that. She climbed back up to paint it. We are painting in “fired brick” which makes my hands look like a bloodied violent offender who has yet to clean up the evidence. We’ll have to do another coat there tomorrow.

Even still, we painted four rooms today, I painted parts of three of them. I managed to get only one bit of it on my clothes, one tiny little speck of green slate on a bright blue, old KARN 920 shirt; no biggie.

Which, wow, provides a moment of clarity. That job was eight years ago. And this realization right after saying aloud “You know, we should be celebrating (or not) our 15th high school reunion this year.”

Time flies when you’re mixing paint.


26
Jul 10

It’s ours! All ours! And the bills too!

We sat in a little, windowless room and filled out the paperwork. There was the woman who stood in for the closing attorney. He was on vacation.

There was Shane, our realtor, with whom we’ve become friends. Our financial guy, who’s been steady and awesome and terrific throughout the process. He’s married to one of Shane’s colleagues, who was supposed to be our realtor, actually, but she had her baby just as we began shopping.

Across the table there was the nice woman who was selling her house. We got a good deal. She’s leaving a cute little move-in ready house in a terrific neighborhood. She’s getting married and has already moved out of town. We compared notes. Her realtor was there, too, on crutches. I was sitting opposite her, pushed way back from the table. It isn’t that I’m disinterested, I said, I don’t want to kick you.

We chatted. She signed her paperwork. We chatted some more and then she left. And then we had to sign our paperwork. This is enough to make anyone feel bad for famous people. Autographs just aren’t that fun.

Though, to be fair, most autograph seekers aren’t thrusting mountains of legalese into your face. The financial guy remarked that no one had read it all before, and I had to give him something to go back to the office and tell his colleagues, so I read it all. I tend to read a bit on the slow side typically — because I enjoy sentence structure — but especially so when reading something in legal language. This made the process run a bit longer than it should have, but we’re homeowners.

But that’s not enough for one day, no. We’ve decided to paint a few things and get it ready for the big move. So we took our new keys, made our way into the neighborhood, convincing Boris, the heavily armed gate guard, that we live here now.

The very nice lady from whom we bought our home left us take out menus and a list of places that deliver. The last menu was from Applebee’s. I question her taste.

Publix cart

We bought groceries. The Publix is just down the street and has been here about 15 minutes longer than we have. Also, it is huge. There are guides on all of the carts.

We made a list of things we needed from Lowe’s. We have a wonderful friend who is overworked at Home Depot, so we figured it might help her out a bit if we shopped at the competition. Also, Shane thoughtfully gave us a gift card there, so it worked out.

Having shopped online in every store in town and Amazon, I bought four ceiling fan lights, the most affordable ones I could grab. We picked up paint supplies. We ordered a carpet cleaner.

They came out this afternoon, two guys from the Stanley Steemer office in Columbus. I realized, after we got off the phone with the booking agent where I’d erred. I cleaned carpets in high school and as a former employee I accidentally ruined their commission. Here’s how to help them and get the best deal. Call and ask for the minimum. It is usually a two-room package. When the guys get to your house, tell them you are willing to upsell with them — for extra rooms or scotch guard (which I suggest) or deodorizer (if you need it) — and then haggle. You’ll get a little more out of them. He’ll get the commission. The person sitting in the nice, climate controlled office answering phones won’t take his money. You’d be surprised how much the guy is willing to haggle in this set up. Everybody wins.

And he gets to stand inside, in nice conditions, and haggle. Those trucks aren’t built for comfort. We were talking with the guys that visited us and they said they’d never had an air conditioned truck. That’s about right. At the much larger office where I once worked there was one truck with air conditioning, and that was the boss’. So we fed them plenty of water, apologized profusely for making the mistake that deprived him of commission and talked shop.

One of the best parts about cleaning carpet are the stories you hear or the places you find yourself. One of the guys that worked for us today was a college student doing this as a summer job, so he didn’t have many stories, but he’d heard about them. His colleague was a company man, and he had stories. We spent a few minutes trying to one-up one another. We settled on a draw.

After they left we wiped down the walls for paint. Already, serious progress has been made.

I borrowed a six-foot ladder from a friend’s grandfather who lives nearby. Installed two ceiling fan lights before it got too dark to see. By chance they just happened to match the lights already in place on other ceiling fans. I replaced all the locks on the house.  (And only locked myself out once in doing so, simultaneously proving levels of both ingenuity and stupidity I hadn’t realized I was capable of achieving.)

It rained.

The neighbors, were they listening, were probably a bit concerned about the mix of Korn, Queen and Abba they heard coming from the new people. I blame The Yankee.

She made a delicious dinner and we sat on the floor in our future library, eating on a stack of shelves I’ve removed from a wall we’ll paint tomorrow. It was wonderfully romantic in that way that everyone forgets when the furniture and the boxes interfere.

Tomorrow, we paint in earnest. (That’s a great shade, by the way, you should look into it.)


18
Jul 10

AT&T Day (The iPhone is lovely)

Today was AT&T day. Most readers are already sympathetic. The rest nod knowingly.

Oh, but you do not know.

So The Yankee, who is wonderful and kind and awesome, decided to get me an iPhone. They arrived yesterday, we visited the Apple store today.

Only, and this will surprise you, what we were told last week by one talented and helpful AT&T phone representative was something entirely different from what we discovered today. Seems I’m eligible for an upgrade, but she’s not. So while The Yankee talked to AT&T, I chatted with the Apple store employees.

I learned where all the hipsters eat.

So the problem, we were told, would resolve itself if we visited an actual AT&T store. Having had that particular joyful experience in the past I had the sneaking suspicion that wouldn’t be the case, but you may as well try.

We drove down the street. We had a late lunch. The AT&T store opened, we met the manager who’s second item in the corporate protocol — and this is my favorite part — is to call an AT&T phone rep. Meanwhile, have a look at the AT&T talking points. You aren’t supposed to see this paperwork or, one presumes, the typos contained therein:

ATTFail

The manager couldn’t figure it out. So he’s going to call his boss tomorrow. We went back to the Apple store, where we found one of my former students who works there. She got my phone, set me up, extended the hold on The Yankee’s phone and we had a nice visit.

And while she didn’t get one, today, I got mine. And it is very pretty.

So far I’ve added bookmarks. I considered consolidating my laptop bookmarks and my cell phone bookmarks, but then I looked at what I have on my machine’s browser and realized I don’t need any of those things on my phone. On my previous phone I used Opera, so I had to pull bookmarks from that browser, which stores them in a proprietary file. It is called an adr file which, as you may know, stands for Opera Address Book. What you might also realize is that the good people at Opera don’t understand how acronyms work.

I liked the Opera browser on my Q, which is Windows based, and will be only a little sad to see it go. Safari on the iPhone works very well, at least off of the home WiFi network. I looked for a Firefox app in the store, but there’s only a non-browser browser available, which seems a bit too complicated for me at this point.

So instead, after I added all of my bookmarks. Somewhere I found directions to sync this through iTunes, but that platform and I don’t get along very well yet. So I did it the old fashioned way. I built a page with all the links I need — library search pages, the local Craigslist, school schedules, football schedules, cafeteria menus, E-bay, Digg, XM schedules, movie theaters and airline site — and then uploaded it to my server. Then I clicked each link and added them manually, all neatly categorized and, unfortunately, not alphabetized. One needs these things to be neatly organized, but that isn’t happening. Let’s see what Google has to say about that.

Oh, click, hold, drag. With a little effort — I accidentally deleted one link and moved some a bit too far, so link juggling was required — I now have a neatly organized bookmark list.

Which allows me to move on to applications. Facebook, Twitter, Boxcar, Grocery IQ, RedLaser, Dictionary, Wikipanion and a level (by Stanley) all made it on the phone for free.

So, if you need me, I’ll be able to share details on my social sites about the UPC codes of coupons for synonyms found on Wikipedia and, also, updates on whether they are crooked.

While I did all of this The Yankee went back to the AT&T store, this time armed with paperwork, to demonstrate her upgrade eligibility. We were comparing notes: she’s been with AT&T for the better part of a decade and had maybe three phones, I’ve been with AT&T before it was AT&T, (before it was Cingular, back when it was Bellsouth) for 15 years. I’ve never had a significant or unreasonable problem with the  service in all of that time. Since they turned into AT&T in 2007 I, like many people, have found the human element of the company to be more than lacking.

But the iPhone is fancy. And now I must figure out how to change the background. I have a picture on my site I thought I’d use, but you can’t save it directly from the server on the iPhone. I successfully made a shortcut to the URL, but that does not a background make. So I turn to Google again, which tells me I must 1.) Save the picture 2.) Put it in iTunes 3.) Sync iTunes and my iPhone 4.) Be frustrated with that for a while 5.) On the sixth attempt figure it out and 6.) Realize I put the confounded picture in the wrong place.

But I finally I made it work. Looks nice, too:

The Yankee in Savannah

Took that on our first trip to Savannah five years ago. We got married there, not far from that spot, actually, last year.

The black and white looks striking as the phone background — and the screen on the iPhone is beautiful. Give it a try.


15
Jul 10

He skates better than you or I

Atticus is skateboarding!

Atticus is taking part in the A.skate Foundation program. His parents invited us to watch him skate today — and skate he does! I had the chance to help a little. He’s doing the balancing and learning to steer. The big person, that’s his coach Rick above, is really just providing the propulsion. That’ll come.

He’s great at it, and I think this is just his second day skating. Atticus has just nearly perfect balance. And he has the biggest smiles, skating on the pavement, being pushed up ramps or even up a small half-pipe.

That picture is from my cell phone, because today was a silly day to forget my real cameras. Not to worry. I ended up stealing his mom’s camera and taking pictures for her. She had a great day, because it was a big day because Atticus had a big time.

He’ll be in a documentary. This isn’t it, but I shot a few seconds of video from my cell phone.

We also visited Toys R Us and had dinner at Whole Foods, but his little chesire grin while skating was the best part of a great day.