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Smaug the Stupendous

Oh just a fine day. We caught a matinee of the new Hobbit movie:

Better than the first Hobbit movie, with fewer plot elements that were recycled from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. But if the existence of them annoys you, sorry. (And don’t pretend like you didn’t notice.) There were drunken elves. Legolas and friends had a fine, running fight among the barrels. Loved the barrel chase. Hated the spiders.

The elvish love triangle is boring, and surely directive from some studio suit. Legolas seems like a different character. Older and harder, though it is the better part of a century before the other movies. This is another way prequels (let’s call the Hobbit a series of prequels) are difficult to swallow.

I’m sure it abandoned Tolkien — I don’t care; I read the Hobbit years ago and found it tedious and not worth my time, feel free to leave now if this is what you judge people against. — but it also gives you Martin Freeman, who is better than you realize. And Smaug is a grand visual thing. It takes a lot to visually impress us in movies these days, but the dragon should.

I wanted Smaug to be Benedict Cumberbatch, but this is a dragon, and they’ve modulated the voice so much that it isn’t Cumberbatch, which is fine. I’m ready to be free of the mercurial dwarves.

But a good movie. It cost $8 per ticket. This was a matinee. Back in my day, and get off my lawn.

We had Mexican with our friend Sara, whom we have not seen in a long while. We had cookies after that. We watched a comedian perform on Netflix after that. It was all a very fine day.

Things to read … These first few are submitted without comment or, simply put, have a nice day:

Capitol Hill Reacts to Judge’s NSA Phone Surveillance Ruling

Expanded Medicaid’s fine print holds surprise: ‘payback’ from estate after death

In Alabama, car insurance premiums jump an average of 22 percent after 1 claim, study finds

Sometimes I think the people in Washington over-complicate things. (Which is a naive way of suggesting that they’re actually doing things without grand and sweeping ulterior motives, but we all know better.) So allow me to simplify this. Let’s keep the obligations we have to those with whom we’ve obligated ourselves. Sen. Jeff Sessions: Leave military retiree pay alone, close tax loophole for illegal immigrants:

Sessions said lawmakers should “scour the federal budget for other available savings,” before cutting veterans benefits.

“America’s service members have already sacrificed so much on our behalf and Congress should not put additional burdens on them even as it spares federal civilian workers from the same treatment,” Sessions said. “Removing this unbalanced treatment of our military retirees ought to be one of the key actions we should take before this legislation moves forward.

Disregarding veterans is no way to run a government. You could put a lot of things in as the subject of that sentence. You’d be right. I feel like this is one of the important ones.

This is neat: The story of Bud, the Toomer’s Oak offspring that refuses to die.

Some of these I wouldn’t have put on such a list, but there are some real gems here: 54 Reasons to Love Photography in 2013. That will just make you want to click the shutter button a few hundred more times.

Speaking of photos, the next several days here, at least through Christmas, will likely be just that: snapshots. Come for the ornaments, and come back to see whatever surprises turn up.

Auburn / friends / photo / weekend — Comments Off
15
Dec 13

A little dusty in here

When you put time and people together you get a funny, curious thing.

I wrote this story a few years ago on a gray, dank, overcast day not unlike today. I was sitting in my library, talking to this guy on the phone. He was in his office in Texas and I was calling him sir.

He visited later. Lauren and I bought him a lemonade at Toomer’s on a warm, rainy afternoon. He was hoping to enroll in the graduate program at Auburn. First, for him, there was Afghanistan. He came home, and then he finally came home to Auburn. He moved in downtown. We became friends. Time expanded, because no one needed to notice. He helped haul an appliance to our house. He became Lauren’s student. There were ballgames and tailgates and movies and cookouts and all of the other little things you take stock of later.

We met his girlfriend. We were there when he proposed. The four of us took a long trip together. We got invited to the wedding and then I was a part of the wedding and suddenly there was the wedding.

Time contracted, because suddenly one had to count. Now he has graduated. We dined with his proud parents last night. The new grad and his wife stayed with us this weekend because their lives are in boxes. After next week it is back to the Army.

Lauren and I had breakfast with them and then said goodbye this morning. This was harder than we all expected. He joked I had to update this story to reflect that he was a proper Auburn man. He was right, though the update was long overdue. So I have updated it; proudly, because the circumstance warranted it because he’s long been an Auburn man, sadly because that means they are on to their next next chapter, Alaska in January.

I called him sir back then out of courtesy, because we were strangers. I call him sir now, from time to time, in the more truly genuine sense, out of respect.

When you put time and people together you get a funny, curious thing.

We miss our friends, Jessica and Adam, already.

Auburn / football / friends / photo / weekend — Comments Off
14
Dec 13

Auburn’s fall commencement

I don’t go to a lot of graduations, but this was a good one.

Stan White — who played quarterback at Auburn from 1989-1993, in the NFL for a few years after that and is now an insurance mogul and the color analyst for the Auburn football radio broadcasts — delivered the keynote speech. He talked to the graduates about what they would do when their “one second” came up.

So, basically, the Iron Bowl wrote his speech for him, altar call and all:

Adam walked as he has completed his master’s degree in public relations. Here he is shaking hands with President Jay Gogue:

Our friend Tim also walked, having completed his bachelor’s in computer engineering:

Chris Davis, he of the 109-yard Iron Bowl kick six, also graduated. He was, as you might imagine, something of a hit:

Dee Ford was the last person across the stage. If you look over his shoulder you can see Ric Smith, who announces the graduates. Smith often calls Ford’s name in his other role as the PA announcer in Jordan-Hare Stadium.

I think Gogue here was asking him to get a few sacks of Jameis Winston in his last game in the blue and orange:

Ford was the last to walk today. We later learned that was because he was late. He was no doubt off somewhere being cool, because that’s what he does. (I can say this because we’re Facebook friends. And the guy is cool.)

Several other people we know in one way or another graduated today. It was a fine ceremony.

Near the end, just before the alma mater and the cap tossing, I was trying to find Adam in the crowd. He wasn’t where I thought, which meant I couldn’t get the shot I wanted. But this one isn’t bad, either. They were telling him to wave so I would see him, and the longer it took the bigger his waves got. And he accidentally smacked the president who was walking by. Hence the look:

After graduation, and meeting up with Adam’s parents, we walked around campus taking pictures. The standard stuff, cap and gown in front of all the right buildings and logos and signs. I like this one the best:

We had dinner with Adam and Jessica and his parents. They’re sweet people. They remind me a lot of my family, which is an easy leap since they’re from about two towns over. They have the same familiar accents and pace of speech and everything. As you might imagine, they are just so proud.

Why wouldn’t they be? Earlier today their son caught a pass from a Heisman winner.

Auburn / friends / iPhone / journalism / links / photo / things to read / Wednesday — Comments Off
11
Dec 13

Reporting live, on tape, from my pocket

We went to Momma G’s tonight. The place is rich in history — even if they’ve recently leveled the floors. The walls are littered in posters and old Auburn newspaper clippings. I think they’ve finally done away with the old jukebox. But people still write on everything.

When graffiti is a calling card, your sandwich steamer better have mojo. This is never a problem at Momma G’s.

I like to think this one is a two-part piece. First the cheer and then an autograph by Ricardo Louis:

I wonder if this will be painted over or lost in context first:

I did the thing where I got up and offered to get refills for the table. As I did so I found five bucks on the ground. I wanted to give it back to whomever dropped it, but there was no one around. So, in the pocket it went and that was the most lucrative refill ever.

Adam was upset with this news. He just knew he should have gotten the drinks. Of course, I told him, if he’d topped off our cups he would have found a $100. That’s just the sort of luck he’s had lately. He doesn’t dispute it.

So we all sat there, the last people in the place. The guy trying to close made all the polite “Please get out of here so I can go home” noises. Not to be sentimental about it, but we’re down to counting the days before Adam leaves for his next adventure, so I find I’m trying to drag out conversations when we’re all together.

Things to read … Sign language interpreter at Mandela’s memorial a faker. Maybe you’ve heard about the guy playing knick knack paddy whack alongside world leaders. This is a bizarre story, and a disconcerting one when you consider what could have been. It should be interesting to see where this story goes from here.

More from the It Takes a Village file: Boy, 6, Charged with Sexual Harassment for Kissing Girl on Hand:

A 6-year-old Colorado boy was slapped with the label of sexual harasser and suspended, all because he kissed his classmate on the hand.

ABC News affiliate KRDO-TV spoke with the boy, who in the past kissed the same girl — his “girlfriend” — on the cheek.

[…]

The boy’s mother, Jennifer, is outraged, saying of the female student, “She was fine with it, they are ‘boyfriend and girlfriend.’ The other children saw it and went to the music teacher.

Being a child these days is hard, no doubt. We’re just making it harder.

(Update: A day later all of this nonsense has been happily resolved. Funny how widespread media attention and public scorn can do that.)

Mobile ads forecast to account for more than third of new ad revenue by 2016:

Mobile advertising is forecast to be the most important driver of the global advertising economy over the next three years, accounting for more than a third of the $90bn in new revenue expected by 2016.

Advertising delivered to smartphones and tablets will account for 36% of new global ad spend over the next three years, according to a new forecast by global media buying agency group ZenithOptimedia.

However, the growth in mobile advertising will be in addition to rather than at the expense of traditional media such as TV and newspapers, according to ZenithOptimedia.

If you aren’t planning for this, you’re behind.

Gannett to Add USA Today to Local Papers:

Gannett Company, one of the nation’s largest newspaper chains, will try to expand its advertising and circulation revenue by inserting parts of its flagship newspaper, USA Today, into its local newspapers.

Beginning in January, Gannett will add 12 to 14 pages of USA Today content each day to 35 newspapers in its largest markets.

Good luck to them. Hopefully it doesn’t come off as just trying to pad out the local publication with more wire copy at the expensive of in-house reporting.

If you haven’t seen Videolicious yet, and you make videos, you’ll want to check out this little tutorial on a basic, yet powerful, new tool you should add to your arsenal. It is push-button easy. I downloaded it recently, now I’ll just have to put it to use.

So now you have produced holiday videos to look forward to. This makes two video editing suites sitting in my pocket. Chalk this up to what I’ve been saying for years. Smartphones are just signals of future potential.

cycling / friends / journalism / links / running / things to read / Tuesday / video — Comments Off
10
Dec 13

I was wisely edited out of the final video below

I went for a run last night. It was cold and I was about two miles from home when it was dark enough, and simultaneously light enough, that I could see my breath. Then I car would come, and those headlights are far off in the distance in the night time when you’re on foot and only doing a tiny part of the job of closing the gap. Then suddenly there are all these headlights, and yet you’re in the dark. And by the time you figure that out, the curious behavior of directional photons and the physical features of the earth and what not, the headlights are now upon you, blindingly so.

You run a little farther off the road, farther away then you already were. Because it is dark in December and cold and no motorist has a reasonable expectation of finding you there. In my 5.32 miles I met four walkers, five cyclists, two joggers and a couple walking their dog. Hope we all got home safe.

This evening I took my bike for a quick 20-mile spin. I was pressed for space by three separate pickup trucks. One which lingered long enough to allow me to make jokes about his license plate. Another which clearly belonged to a man who’d just received word that his baby was about to be born and, with it, the luckiest lottery ticket of all time, but it could only be cashed if he showed up 15 minutes ago, having bent space and time to learn how to deliver the child himself and could do so with the ease of years of practice. And so he must pass every living thing like it were a dead thing and proceed with great haste to the special baby extraction unit. Or to his late appointment at the accountant’s office. Whatever was going on in the guy’s life.

How I didn’t roll up on the accident he must have surely caused later can only be explained by the idea that it happened on a different road than my route.

And so, I have a theory: pickup trucks are the most dangerous vehicles to cyclists, and perhaps everyone else.

Otherwise, grading and some grading. The grades are due this week, and so they will be done this week. I’ve made good headway and will, tomorrow or so, input the final numbers into the Excel formula. I will watch the averages move up and down and spot check a third of a class roster’s score with good old fashioned math to make sure I’ve built the spread sheet correctly. It is the least I can do. I usually build them correctly, but there’s always that concern, right?

Met Adam for dinner. We visited Cheeburger, where we had large cheeseburgers and I had a milkshake. All the while I complained about always being hungry. I was hungry when we left the place, in fact. Exercise will do that to you, it turns out.

Things to read … If you take away toy guns from toy monkeys then only toy monkey criminals will have guns. Our society is a little out of control just now, with the exertion of so much control, just now. Funny how that works. TSA Seizes Tiny Toy Gun From Stuffed Monkey, Threatens to Call Cops:

“She said ‘this is a gun,'” said May. “I said no, it’s not a gun it’s a prop for my monkey.”

“She said ‘If I held it up to your neck, you wouldn’t know if it was real or not,’ and I said ‘really?'” said May.

The TSA agent told May she would have to confiscate the tiny gun and was supposed to call the police.

The terrorist monkeys have won, basically.

But wait! It gets even more sublimely stupid! Snowball Fight at Univ. of Oregon Could Lead to Criminal Charges

Is there video? There is video:

So, yes, college students are doing silly college student things. And the retired professor decided to get out of his car, where he was safe behind his high-tech, ultra-dense, futuristic anti-snow polymer shielding. If it feels to you like there’s more to this story, it is probably because there is more to that story.

Meanwhile, in Pennsylvania, leave your quiver-filled imagination at home. Or get suspended. Truly these are dangerous times in education.

How about a few nicer stories. Building a library: Donation of books to low-income first-graders in Birmingham underscores importance of early reading:

Zion was among 80 first-graders at the school to receive a bag of five books to take home. Other books were “Charlotte’s Web,” “Amelia Bedelia,” “The Tale of Peter Rabbit,” and “Where the Wild Things Are.”

“These kids don’t have a lot so this is an opportunity for them to really build their own personal libraries,” said Theris Johnson, student achievement coach at Minor Elementary School. “They’re starting a lifelong interest in reading.”

There was nothing, and still is nothing, quite like a book that could take you away from the struggles of your day.

Though someone should tell educators there is an axe in Charlotte’s Web, Amelia uses scissors and Peter Rabbit is drugged by his mother. I’m sure there was something subversive and dangerous to school principals in Where the Wild Things Are, as well.

So the boss gave you a nearly unlimited budget to do a bit of viral marketing. Well done:

The selfie. Someone making contortions to explain it away: context matters.

So does decorum. When you land on a site called Selfies at Funerals, you have little of it.

Someone commented there, “One of the most important pictures of our time.” And that may be right. Another person, elsewhere, recalled Barbara Tuchman:

“So gorgeous was the spectacle on the May morning of 1910 when nine kings rode in the funeral of Edward VII of England that the crowd, waiting in hushed and black-clad awe, could not keep back gasps of admiration. In scarlet and blue and green and purple, three by three the sovereigns rode through the palace gates, with plumed helmets, gold braid, crimson sashes, and jeweled orders flashing in the sun. After them came five heirs apparent, forty more imperial or royal highnesses, seven queens – four dowager and three regnant – and a scattering of special ambassadors from uncrowned countries. Together they represented seventy nations in the greatest assemblage of royalty and rank ever gathered in one place and, of its kind, the last. The muffled tongue of Big Ben tolled nine by the clock as the cortege left the palace, but on history’s clock it was sunset, and the sun of the old world was setting in a dying blaze of splendor never to be seen again.”

Granted, The Guns of August may be a bit of an overreach for a vacuous photograph. At least we all hope so, at any rate.

Finally, this incredible video has been making the rounds. A design professor friend asked why I didn’t make an appearance. I assured him my only trick was balance, and even then only on occasion:

That is very much the kind of video you need to watch from the beginning to the end. It only gets more impressive as it goes. Amazing stuff. And, much like the rest of life, stick around to the end to see the (painful) bloopers.