We have resolved our cable and Internet connection issues.

The guy came out to do this on Saturday, but he realized that the ones and zeros they use in Birmingham are different than the ones and zeros they use here. So he was ill-prepared which, somehow, meant he had to make a return trip with new equipment today.

So the equipment was brought. Things were connected. We had cable and the TiVo liked it and we’ve returned to the modern mediated culture. Or, rather, the 20th Century version of it. Our Internet connection is presently dial-up fast, which is not what we’d agreed to. The cable guy clucked and clicked and did all manner of professional looking things on his little pad. He pronounced it an office problem and that we must give them a call.

We did, they redirected a beam from a military satellite into our router and now we have NASA telemetry humming smartly through the network at a speed which makes Brian, our personal tech guy, jealous.

I made a series of phone calls today, which naturally means navigating a series of automated phone systems. I’d never thought of these as entertaining, but now I must. And I’m considering spicing up my own phone system recordings accordingly. One guy starts out “OK you already have service …”

I do a little voiceover work on the side, mostly web-based stuff, but lately I’ve been asked to do a little voice automation work too. This guy is beginning to make me feel as if I’m doing it wrong. I am for certainty, the occasional bit of enthusiasm but, mostly, authoritative. This guy really knows how to sell his passion with outright boredom.

Later, I get a more serious recording. I’m in one of those systems that requires a verbal input on my part. I start off by asking for things very casually. And at one point when I uttered a word that wasn’t in the program I was asked for a clarification. I replied with a synonym, in fake broadcaster morning banter voice, you know the one: “I’m Coffee!” “And I’m Cream!” from The Morning Zoo crowd.

That overzealous enthusiasm did not go over well. This recording is more serious. She said “I didn’t quite get that” with a scolding tone I haven’t heard in years.

Anyway. We’re all connected. Things are taking shape in the house. I’ve reorganized the garage once again. Sweated in the sauna-attic once more while storing things of not-so-vital national security. I finally figured out which cabinet holds the glasses and which drawer holds the silverware. Everything else is mostly a mystery. (I’m still learning the light switches.)

Fun. I watched The Most Interesting Man in the World tonight:

It was immediately followed by the Old Spice Man:

No one is man enough for that commercial sequence.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 2nd, 2010 at 11:11 pm and is filed under errands, Monday, video. You can follow any comments to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.