weekend


23
Apr 11

Happy Birthday!

Today was my grandmother’s 27th birthday. She had a small, family get-together. She’s just as young as ever. Someone invented a party game that we played. It involved tea bags and baseball caps. Because all of the natural talent runs through that side of the family she naturally won the game.

She played it three times, beating great-grandchildren seven decades younger.

I have video of that, but I’m keeping it just for me.

A few years ago we had a “surprise” party for her. She danced her way into the room. And then she danced her way back out again.

Here she is on that night:

birthday

That’s her son, husband and my mother. My uncle later married The Yankee and I. He embarrassed me with an off-color joke at the Christmas table last year. It was the kind of thing that you’ve heard worse, but you’d never ever imagine such a thing coming from him. They’ve all been a lovely family to grow up with.

Anyway, we sang Happy Birthday twice tonight, because why not?

Happy Birthday to my grandmother, who has been the neatest grandmother you could have, even though you can’t hand-pick them.

(She probably would have let me choose, if I’d thought to ask, because she’d spoil us all that way. Her other two grandchildren would have to be allowed to do so, too. She has always been very serious and conscientious about her grandmotherly duties. If I could pick, I would pick her every time.)


17
Apr 11

Catching Up

Storm

A new warning came down Friday that a line of storms would bring wind and hail. So, naturally, you go outside.

Hail

And we might not have received the 2.5-inch diameter hail we were promised …

Hail

But this was painful enough. We’re standing in the garage, between our cars and the ice starts racing down from the sky. Brian’s car is in the driveway, unprotected by the safety of any roofing or tree limbs.

A tarp! I have a tarp!

Knowing that hail storms are brief, but violent, I took the most direct route, which was around the exterior of the house. Barefoot. And when I got to the back of the house it really started coming down. And that began to sting. Hail on soft, moist earth isn’t so bad, even for a tenderfoot. Hail on cement is not a lot of fun.

I race back, now covering my head with the tarp.

I have a tarp! I need a plan!

We decided to cover the windshield.

About eight seconds after we have the great green piece of protective plastic spread out evenly — which exposed tender skin to more angry ice — the hail stopped falling. The yard was covered. There were abnormally large piles of the stuff everywhere. There was an unearthly moisture in the air as the hail steamed itself into oblivion. It looked like an X-Files setting.

The car was undamaged.

Tigers

The Yankee got these two tigers from the balloon guy at Niffer’s the other night. We see him there often. This has become his regular gig the last few years. On weekends he is at the baseball stadium in clown makeup making balloons. He’s often here or at parties, or delivering a manifesto on the current political climate, while he makes a balloon beanie hat. The guy’s talented. He said it took him about two years before his hands could create while he chatted with customers.

Nice guy. He carries a duffle bag stuffed full of balloons. He said he spends thousands of dollars a year on the stuff. This is his job.

There’s a feature story in that guy.

HollowayTwitty

I found her, in the checkout line at the grocery store, reading the Enquirer. Hard to believe this has been six years. Beth Holloway has a new show coming out. (The good people at WBRC struggled with the math on that story.)

“Vanished with Beth Holloway,” will follow real life cases of missing persons; digging into the mysteries behind them and searching for clues to solve the cases.

I liked it better when John Walsh and Robert Stack did that show.

If anything, she’s proved it isn’t hard to sneak into a Peruvian jail.


16
Apr 11

Spring weather

It seems unnatural to have such pitch-perfect weather just a day after such deadly storms.

IMG_4519

Seventeen dead were killed yesterday and last night across four states. Three of the deaths were near the scene of that picture, which is from ABC 33/40 meteorologist James Spann in Autauga County, Alabama this morning. Many more were hurt there. The church is destroyed. (But they are congregating in the morning at the local high school; the human spirit can be indomitable.) Four more people died in rural Washington County.

Tornadoes are curious, scary things. My elementary school was on the top of a hill. Back then, school districts didn’t shut down a day in advance of a storm. The siren howled and we all lined up in the hallways, even in the first or second grade wondering about the usefulness of the head-between-the-knees technique. During one spring storm they told us a tornado skipped up one side of the hill, ramped over the building and down the other side. I don’t recall seeing any damage, but remember that story vividly.

It wouldn’t surprise me. I’ve had friends speak of destroyed front yards and pristine backyards. I’ve watched news reports of babies picked up and placed unharmed in dresser drawers far from home. I saw a report once of a farmer who got caught on his tractor in his field and couldn’t beat the storm back to the barn. He ran off for safety and came back to find his tractor OK, but the gas cap gone, presumably spun open by the swirling winds.

I’ve covered lots of tornadoes. Chased a few, from a safe distance, too. Having lived a great portion of my life in a volatile springtime area the closest we’ve come to being impacted is in donating to those in need. Thirteen years and two weeks ago, in 1998, we adopted an awesome little storm dog. Oak Grove, a community near my home, had been devastated by one of the largest tornadoes ever recorded. Thirty-two were killed. When they went in to clean up they couldn’t tell lot from lot in some places because there was just nothing left. Here’s a brief video from that storm:

Watch your radar closely.


10
Apr 11

Catching Up

Fish

At Niffer’s Place the employees hang custom-made fish from the ceiling and walls. They say they haven’t removed a fish in 20 years. Since this is their anniversary, they are doing a scavenger hunt based on ichthyological clues. We think this is one of the winners.

Clubs

Watched the last six holes of the Master’s today, after Rory McIlroy’s unfortunate collapse and Tiger Woods’ surge and Charl Schwartzel’s incredible drive to the finish.

I’m ready to go swing the sticks. It is on the list of things to do when this and that are completed.

Shrubs

We have four or five of these shrubs on one side of the house. The entire thing explodes white. Our entire neighborhood seems that way right just now.


9
Apr 11

During our afternoon walk