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A thoroughly predictable (but lovely) day

I had figured last night that we’d have a sandwich from Publix for lunch. By the time I woke up that had been decided. The Yankee asked what I’d like to eat today as she was already heading for the door. It’s nice to know someone shares your thoughts. It’s odd to think they have to be in your head to do that.

But you can’t make little coincidences like that into big productions. People will begin to question your taste in entertainment if you start yelling “Scanners. Scanners!”

That movie, incidentally was set in the far off future of 1985. Did you know there were two sequels? Me either. And a few spin offs. And, of course, somewhere the inevitable relaunch is being fussed over. (Thankfully it has missed it’s release date by two years. Maybe someone got to them.)

The second movie has a complete summary on Wikipedia, but few details on IMDB. The third one has a one-sentence blurb on Wikipedia. It is as if the writers there watched this for 20 minutes and then ejected the VHS knowing no one would ever feel the need to read about the film in great depth. They would be right.

Which is, I’ll grant you, a random way to start a Saturday. Especially since I’ve never even seen the films. But I did enjoy that sandwich. The nice lady at the counter, after she put cheese on The Yankee’s side of the sandwich by mistake said “Well you’re paying for it, so I’ll put it on this side.” My side had extra provolone. It was already an excellent day.

In the World Cup Germany pummeled Argentina, 4-0. It had to catch up to La Albiceleste eventually. They play passionately and freely and without a lot of defense this time around and the Germans just picked them apart. At least they didn’t mentally implode and pout quite like Brazil. Spain swatted away Paraguay 1-0 after that bizarre exchange of three penalty kicks (that were really two) that yielded no goals. David Villa later found himself alone in the box long enough to touch the ball three times and then rattled the post to send Paraguay home.

So we have a good mix of teams going into the semifinals next week. Netherlands will face Uruguay who are still in it on a prayer. Spain and Germany will face off in what should be a fantastic match.

Moved stuff around in the garage today. It’ll be clean by the middle of the week. This is the big push. Do I still need my eighth grade protractor? Do I still need so many VHSs since I don’t own a VCR? (A sentence which will be an ambiguous mystery far more quickly than we realize.) Many boxes of old things I’ve stored for years will be donated or dumped.

So we moved and shuffled and cleaned a bit down there today. Just getting started.

Then The Yankee and I introduced Wendy to DeVinci’s in Homewood. She had the manicotti. The Yankee had the gnocci. I branched way out and tried the lasagna. (It’s cheap, there, and filling.)

We visited the bookstore, because Wendy wanted to pick up some things. She’s preparing to go back to school and is studying for the GMAT. (Go Wendy!) We bought a kids’ book for a friend and some Mad Libs for us.

I know, I know.

We played those far into the night. We played enough that one of them actually made contextual sense. The law of averages demands to be recognized, occasionally.(Monkeys are typing this, just now, as part of their warm up for Shakespeare. That’s why this started with Scanners.)

Did you see that coming?

adventures / movies / Thursday — Comments Off
1
Jul 10

Twilight

Oh her sleep schedule is all wacky — mine isn’t much better, having inverted a bit so we could spend a little time catching up — but The Yankee managed to stay awake long enough to watch the latest installment in the Twilight series. (I refuse to call it a saga. There should be more acting from the main player for such a description.)

This is what I wrote on Twitter. Here’s the archive from the first, horrible, horrible movie. Here’s the second, also bad, movie.

It should be noted that I only go so I can make fun of them on Twitter. The Yankee says they are funny — which is encouragement enough, but they’ve become a big hit on my Twitter stream in general. For these people I am suffering. Here’s the newest movie:

The Rave is showing Eclipse on four screens. The room is full for the early evening showing. More guys than the last two installments.

Edward: You’re worried what people will think? Bella: Ugh. I date a VamPIRE. Gosh.

Everyone in this movie is better when Edward and Bella aren’t in the shot.

Jacob is now America’s most clean cut bad boy.

Jacob is a worse teen poet than even Bella.

Edward has never threatened Bella. Jacob has too many hormones. Must be the HGH.

Look at Bella, bringing werewolves and vampires together to protect her. Talk about needy.

Know what this movie needs? Starship Troopers.

Edward: After a few decades everyone you know will be dead; problem solved. He’s such a smoothie.

What we’ve learned: Don’t punch a werewolf, they have an iron jaw.

Meanwhile, back at the tastefully decorated Ikea-model home of the vampires, jealousy is brewing.

See, Bella is 18. She knows what she wants. For an eternity. This should make us all feel for our parents for when we were teens.

Why is there a five-year-old in a movie about vampires, werewolves and quasi-promiscuous teenagers?

The wolves and vamps must form an uneasy alliance and train together. Smart wolves would let the vamps tire and attack!

Bella: How can I help? Jasper: Your stank will distract the newborns.

Jasper’s origin story: vampire armies were common in the Civil War era South. See that Abe Lincoln vampire slayer book? Synergy!

Bella, on “the talk”: Dad, Edward is … old school. He just breaks into your house and watches me snore.

The middle aged woman sitting to our left just told herself not to cry. Good grief.

The newborn army, whatever they are called, look like Abercrombie and Fitch ads.

Who needs teams? Edward and Jacob are … bonding?

Ooooh, this went sideways. Edward made Bella mad and Jacob must SMASH! But not before a smooch.

Bella is … of questionable moral fiber.

Now it is on, the Throw Down for the Heart Sound. Only in America.

Victoria needs some Robitussin. Tussin for Victoria.

The Volturi are bad because they walk in slow motion.

See, there’s the abstinence theme with a subtle bigamy undertone taking place here.

Edward: There’s no rush. Bella: I’ve chosen my unlife. I want to start unliving it.

Bella: I’ve always felt out of step. Like I wasn’t normal. That’s what social awkwardness does to some, unfortunately.

They lifted the score from a jewelry commercial, just so you know.

People halfheartedly clapped. They seem ashamed.

In the final analysis, this movie was the best of the series so far but in no way justifies the utter dreck of the first two.

I liked, based on this movie, everything that doesn’t involve Bella. The backstories, the rivalry, all interesting. Bella-Jacob, don’t care.

Bella-Edward, care even less. The central character is dragging this down. Ironic that the human is the most wooden of all.

And I am not interested in the vampire or werewolf genres. The setting remains beautiful. They’ve done that right throughout.

It has so far achieved 4.3 stars out of 10 on IMDB and 52 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. That’s about right. Eclipse isn’t terrible, but is easily forgettable. I can only hope the follow-up makes more unfortunate turns for the entertainment value.

If only they’d gotten it right the first time …

honeymoon / movies / Wednesday — Comments Off
19
May 10

Crossing the Atlantic takes a while

On the way to our trip

We finished our packing this morning and wrapped up the last of our errands — the bank, the last minute store run and so on — and then headed to Atlanta.

We met up with Dr. Erin Ryan (now at Kennessaw State, who was formerly one of The Yankee’s professors at Alabama). We had lunch in the car on the way, but had an early dinner with Erin at a place called the Paradise Cafe. The sun was still out, the roads were quiet, the place was empty, the music was good and we sat on the deck, eating our last bit of American food for two weeks.

I’d voted for Chinese.

I had a light meat and vegetable thing. The Yankee had something that vaguely resembled Mexican.

Erin took us to the airport after we dropped our car off at her place. They say allow yourself two hours on international flights — because that will give you plenty of time to enjoy the splendors of an international airport — so we were early, for a change.

So we checked in with British Airways (who’s cabin crews have been threatening with a strike for weeks, now). We checked one bag each, carried a small roller on board each and our backpacks. Therein we have clothes for 17 days. Somehow we made weight.

The Yankee had to readjust her packing to do it, begging the question of the point. She still carried the same amount of luggage it was just organized in a slightly different fashion. That one shirt and bathing suit that got her under the checked bag weight is just now in the passenger cabin. With physics thwarted we made our way to the gate. Where we waited.

I received a phone call from a college while we waited. I’d sought out a bit of information to a program offering master’s degrees in military history just to see what it was about and they called me this evening.

I was just curious. I’m wrapping up a doctoral degree right now, so I’m not exactly your top priority right now.

“Understood.”

And then there was the great plane line, where we all vie for position, eye each other to determine strengths, weakness and possibility. We do this while not at all considering how we’re all going to the same place and will all arrive there, more or less, at the same time.

But being ahead of that guy is important.

Our plane is a 777, which means big. There are four compartments. One for the big spenders (they have the recliner sleeper). One had a few seats. The next section had a slightly more dense population of seats. Our section, they called us world travelers, I prefer the romance of the old nomenclature and call us “steerage.”

There are four compartments, which begs the questions: Why can’t one of these be for kids? And how aerodynamic is soundproofing material?

Kicking, screaming, overnight kids directly behind me. This child was destined to spend the entire trip being held, uncomfortably, in her mother’s lap. The screaming child directly in front had impressively inattentive parents. Joy of joys.

The chief cabin steward comes on the PA system to discuss the entertainment options and apologize — profusely and repetitively — for the food. It seems that the threat of strike, which had been avoided, had altered their logistical planning. The food, he sniffed, would not be up to their usual standard. It was still better than anything available on a U.S. airline in the last 30 years.

Now. I should tell you that the flight is an overnight deal, so all of these details blur together. This entry will deal just with the first leg of the flight and we’ll pick up with London and then on to Rome. So that leaves us with the movies I watched on the plane. British Airways gives you headphones and they run maybe seven or eight movies on the channel of your choice. In the next cycle they change the movies. This is the way to travel.

Without the kid kicking me in the back, I mean. The one that’s in her mother’s lap. The one that’s kicking me in her sleep. All night.

At least one of us got some sleep.

I took the movies.

I watched Crazy Heart. Ordinarily I wouldn’t watch a movie about country music in any capacity. (The Thing Called Love having ruined all others for me.) While I can enjoy the musical genre some things just don’t translate well to film. But Crazy Heart was well received and won two Oscars, besides. I’m a captive audience, why not? There’s a catchy tune or two in the movie, though one of them will be stuck in my head if something else doesn’t come along and bounce it out.

The better movie was Book of Eli. Not a bad film for the post-apocalyptic genre, but the end really makes the entire story.

So, because of the movies and the kick-around-sound provided by the four-year-old behind me I barely dozed. This will make for a long tomorrow, but at least I’ll be tired in Europe.

Friday / movies — Comments Off
14
May 10

Friday is Pie Day

Wednesday was my last day of classes. Summer began. We were out of town yesterday for a pre-planned trip.

So on this, my first day of the summer, I went back to work.

But only for a few hours. There was a camera to be checked back in. There were a few more things to do around the office. There was one more cafeteria lunch to eat. Fridays are two buck lunch, featuring delicious fried chicken, vegetables and two full desert bars (which I narrowly avoided today). That can’t be passed up.

And then the boss and I sat down to do a little research. We’re looking for living relatives of the founder of the original journalism program at Samford University. Jasper Hutto started the program in 1916. His youngest daughter died just last year. She still has two sons, Hutto’s grandson’s living today.

We’re hoping to find out if they have any memories of their grandfather that we can add to our department’s history. (Samford’s journalism program is one of the oldest in the country.)

So that was the afternoon of my first summer day. Not a bad use of time. I’ll probably go back one day next week to do a little more work.

Finally got a haircut this afternoon. I tried earlier this week, but the wait was too long. I returned to the same place today. I drew the woman with the two pack a day, big bottle of bourbon habit. She’s a nice lady, very talkative. Her voice is deeper than Bea Arthur’s.

She gives a good haircut, though.

For Pie Day we visited the Homewood Jim ‘N’ Nicks. The McAlisters were there. So was Andre. This was the restaurant that was in the Western Sizzlin ad I put on Tumblr last week.

We came home and watched The Dark Knight, which I picked up at the library last week. We’d watched it opening weekend and again at the dollar theater. I’m still finding new things in the movie.

We watched Swing Vote last night. I feel asleep toward the end, so I don’t know if Kelsey Grammer or Dennis Hopper was elected. I have a theory that anytime you fall asleep in a Kevin Costner movie that’s a sign you shouldn’t watch it again.

I was going to watch another movie tonight, but I felt the urge to nod off during a history of Appalachia. That’s also a sign.

movies / Samford / Wednesday — Comments Off
12
May 10

The end of spring

One last hint of winter over the weekend. Sunday and Monday, in the second week of May, we never got above 60 degrees. All that’s over now. We touched 86 today, and it felt warmer. The gentle kiss of mild temperatures will go the way of the cool soon enough. Summer is almost upon us.

I know because the semester ended for me today. One last set of final presentations this afternoon, just like yesterday’s, neatly wrapped up the term.

It has been a productive one — taught two classes, worked with the paper, took two classes, presented six papers at conference — and it seemed to stretch longer than usual.

Finished the newsroom’s recycling, wrote up a policy memo or two, had a big lunch and worked on cameras with the rest of my day.

I bobbed and weaved my way through rush hour traffic. Stopped by the hair cutting emporium, where the wait was too long. I have a strict half-hour wait policy on cheap haircuts.

So I went to the library instead. Picked up a big stack of movies for the next week. I started with the television series and then moved from the A’s and moved all the way through the Z’s in an orderly, alphabetical fashion. Got nine DVDs, went through the self check out and escaped the library without anyone even glancing in my direction.

The Yankee and I visited the grocery store, where I learned there is such a thing as pure blended fruit to go. I’m a bigger fan of Van-zilla. I also learned about mojo chicken, which we had for dinner tonight. Pretty good stuff.

We watched Hancock, from the library. Zeus on a bender is a funny idea. Superheroes with consequences is worth considering. And, sure, this is a comic book movie, but it could have been better.

After that there was Leatherheads, which was OK, but I’d expected more. The blurb on the back of the DVD case promises “hilarious screwball antics!” I remain unconvinced.

On IMDB Hancock earns .4 more of a star than Leatherheads. In a real star that would be a lot of hydrogen. Amongst Will Smith fans and the forgiving nature of community movie ratings I’d think the distance is pretty narrow.

That sort of depth of insight will only improve around here now that the summer is upon us.