To finish the joke about comedic timing from yesterday …
When I was in high school and working at Stanley Steemer — oh, the stories those people can tell about the people they meet on a daily basis — I befriended this guy who was about 10 years older than me. He had the best music and stories and he’d been places and done things and was just a very interesting person to talk to. We worked well together, made a lot of money and someone made a running joke that he was my father. This was funny because the age difference wasn’t that great and, also, because he was of recent Japanese descent.
So Jon would say these worldly, funny things all the time and we eventually starting ripping off a Saturday Night Live/Kung Fu joke. It was an SNL bit from before my time watching the show, but I caught on to the shtick. He would say something interesting and I would say, “Ah yes, but Master, why do you call me Grasshopper?”
He would close his eyes and say, “Because you are ugly, like insect.”
This went on for months.
And then one morning Jon says, “Oh, and the master’s blind.”
You had to be there.
Busy day today. Had lunch with The Yankee, who was hosting students at a conference, and our friend Brian. After that I finished my class prep, taught, ran this errand and that. The day gets away from you when you never sit down.
And, you’ll be proud, I taught so hard I hurt my back.
Still not sure how that happened.
This class last Thursday was canceled because of ice falling to the earth without having the decency to melt. So I felt compelled to get part of that session in today too. There was the social media presentation, and a big handful of other things to discuss. Got them out on time, though, and knocked off all but two things on the list. After two small meetings after class there I retired to my office and listened as the staff put their newspaper to bed. This is the week of Step Sing, the big song and dance revue which dominates Samford for the first part of the spring term. Everyone puts a lot of time into, and a lot of the paper people are involved. They’re all working hard in about six different directions at once. They’re tackling it all with good morale, though, so that’s encouraging.
Did a lot of administrative stuff today. Followed up on phone calls and Emails and marveled at how that job never seems to end. I got one step closer to putting one of the big outstanding projects behind me. I’ll knock that out tomorrow. Another I should also be able to soon finish and pass along to others. This is good progress, resolving the things eat into your best intentions. That’s where I am now, on the edge of being able to pull myself up that ledge, so I can proceed a-pace.
A-pace being something slightly more productive than treading water. Until you get there, though, you just have to try and stay afloat.
I don’t know how it is now, but I did these summer day camps at the local YMCA when I was young. One of the programs at our Y had to do with the wonderfully over-chlorinated indoor pool. Yes, this has changed. Anyway, there was a graduated system of developing swimming skills. You achieved things! Got a membership card! And a cool fish name! At the top of the scale, of course, was the shark. I believe there used to be a dolphin or porpoise in the mix, but if so that’s gone. Somewhere along the way toward the top of this system we had to tread water. I think it was for six days. Or 75 minutes or an hour. Whichever was most agonizing.
I hated that.
I also seemed to remember having to inflate a pair of jeans and float on them in some bogus boat-rescue exercise, but I could be conflating that with lifeguard drills.
Anyway. I can keep my head a-float and a-pace like nobody’s a-business.
Lots of things have changed in the ol’ swimming game, just to veer off to something random because when I think of pools I think of warmth and the current temperatures are the opposite of that. The Yankee and I were both certified as lifeguards once upon a time and we occasionally shock people with this story.
When I certified, lifeguard training and the protocols they used for rescue were a lot more aggressive than they are today. If you were in distress the lifeguard came to get you. If you panicked and fought the lifeguard off the lifeguard might fight back, because you ruined his or her tanning lotion. Or, on a really good day, the lifeguard might put you under the water (which ALWAYS adds to your clarity). A lot of people are shocked to hear this. These days they throw in a float and tell you to grab it. If they do get wet, they are trained to wait until the person goes under before going in.
This just takes all the fun out of it, and is when I lost interest in the lifeguarding game. Not that I ever had interest, really, but the mountain was there, and so I learned how to climb it.
There. Aren’t we all warmer now for having heard that little story? It is going to snow here tomorrow.
