But, yes, when you’ve given up on teens as unreachable, that is illustrative of quite a lot. Maybe we should have cultural conversations about that, too.

Wow. Just, wow.

I’d almost be tempted to re-read her column, looking for signs of meta-irony. Is she trying to make a point about the thick-skulled “not getting it” culture, with a wicked parody of their thinking?

My point of agreement with her is that coverage of these cases does tend toward the shallow. Focus on a few lurid details to titillate the copy, be obvious in your gymnastics about deftly keeping the victim obscured, because then part of the story is your heroic protection of the innocent. There is a much larger realm of interesting observations a real journalist can make about the contributions of culture and upbringing.

Then she exposes this startling insight:

By the time they get to be teenagers, you can no longer influence them.

Um, no, Kelly. Just no. If you’ve lost your ability to influence them, please don’t project that on the rest of us. Please don’t destroy your whole sordid justification for your “introspective cultural sidebars.” If you really believe kids can’t be influenced, then the whole narrative of your Scared Straight “good kids gone wrong” cautionary tale is neutered as a non-starter.

Sleet, I have walked in sleet and that is demoralizing, so I am sure I wouldn’t care for riding in it. I rode in a hailstorm last summer, just before I fall-down-go-boom. And that was pretty funny, to hear the pinging on the frame and the clonking on the helmet. And then the big dime sized hail started hitting my back and cutting my fingers a bit. Hail wasn’t that much fun after that.

But rain is pretty great!