July, 2010


26
Jul 10

It’s ours! All ours! And the bills too!

We sat in a little, windowless room and filled out the paperwork. There was the woman who stood in for the closing attorney. He was on vacation.

There was Shane, our realtor, with whom we’ve become friends. Our financial guy, who’s been steady and awesome and terrific throughout the process. He’s married to one of Shane’s colleagues, who was supposed to be our realtor, actually, but she had her baby just as we began shopping.

Across the table there was the nice woman who was selling her house. We got a good deal. She’s leaving a cute little move-in ready house in a terrific neighborhood. She’s getting married and has already moved out of town. We compared notes. Her realtor was there, too, on crutches. I was sitting opposite her, pushed way back from the table. It isn’t that I’m disinterested, I said, I don’t want to kick you.

We chatted. She signed her paperwork. We chatted some more and then she left. And then we had to sign our paperwork. This is enough to make anyone feel bad for famous people. Autographs just aren’t that fun.

Though, to be fair, most autograph seekers aren’t thrusting mountains of legalese into your face. The financial guy remarked that no one had read it all before, and I had to give him something to go back to the office and tell his colleagues, so I read it all. I tend to read a bit on the slow side typically — because I enjoy sentence structure — but especially so when reading something in legal language. This made the process run a bit longer than it should have, but we’re homeowners.

But that’s not enough for one day, no. We’ve decided to paint a few things and get it ready for the big move. So we took our new keys, made our way into the neighborhood, convincing Boris, the heavily armed gate guard, that we live here now.

The very nice lady from whom we bought our home left us take out menus and a list of places that deliver. The last menu was from Applebee’s. I question her taste.

Publix cart

We bought groceries. The Publix is just down the street and has been here about 15 minutes longer than we have. Also, it is huge. There are guides on all of the carts.

We made a list of things we needed from Lowe’s. We have a wonderful friend who is overworked at Home Depot, so we figured it might help her out a bit if we shopped at the competition. Also, Shane thoughtfully gave us a gift card there, so it worked out.

Having shopped online in every store in town and Amazon, I bought four ceiling fan lights, the most affordable ones I could grab. We picked up paint supplies. We ordered a carpet cleaner.

They came out this afternoon, two guys from the Stanley Steemer office in Columbus. I realized, after we got off the phone with the booking agent where I’d erred. I cleaned carpets in high school and as a former employee I accidentally ruined their commission. Here’s how to help them and get the best deal. Call and ask for the minimum. It is usually a two-room package. When the guys get to your house, tell them you are willing to upsell with them — for extra rooms or scotch guard (which I suggest) or deodorizer (if you need it) — and then haggle. You’ll get a little more out of them. He’ll get the commission. The person sitting in the nice, climate controlled office answering phones won’t take his money. You’d be surprised how much the guy is willing to haggle in this set up. Everybody wins.

And he gets to stand inside, in nice conditions, and haggle. Those trucks aren’t built for comfort. We were talking with the guys that visited us and they said they’d never had an air conditioned truck. That’s about right. At the much larger office where I once worked there was one truck with air conditioning, and that was the boss’. So we fed them plenty of water, apologized profusely for making the mistake that deprived him of commission and talked shop.

One of the best parts about cleaning carpet are the stories you hear or the places you find yourself. One of the guys that worked for us today was a college student doing this as a summer job, so he didn’t have many stories, but he’d heard about them. His colleague was a company man, and he had stories. We spent a few minutes trying to one-up one another. We settled on a draw.

After they left we wiped down the walls for paint. Already, serious progress has been made.

I borrowed a six-foot ladder from a friend’s grandfather who lives nearby. Installed two ceiling fan lights before it got too dark to see. By chance they just happened to match the lights already in place on other ceiling fans. I replaced all the locks on the house.  (And only locked myself out once in doing so, simultaneously proving levels of both ingenuity and stupidity I hadn’t realized I was capable of achieving.)

It rained.

The neighbors, were they listening, were probably a bit concerned about the mix of Korn, Queen and Abba they heard coming from the new people. I blame The Yankee.

She made a delicious dinner and we sat on the floor in our future library, eating on a stack of shelves I’ve removed from a wall we’ll paint tomorrow. It was wonderfully romantic in that way that everyone forgets when the furniture and the boxes interfere.

Tomorrow, we paint in earnest. (That’s a great shade, by the way, you should look into it.)


25
Jul 10

On the road again

So we drove down to Auburn this afternoon. We’re spending a few days there, which meant packing in the midst of packing. Meta-packing, by the way, is a task best left to the professionals. Where are those extra pair of socks, anyway?

We’re spending the night in an extended stay hotel, where a very nice young woman checked us in. She asked us about our visit. We’re moving here.

“I would live in Birmingham over Auburn,” she says.

Why?

“There are no jobs here,” she replies.

It is a college town, small place, lots of young people willing to work jobs with flexible schedules and low pay. She had lime green hair. Fortunately The Yankee and I long ago outgrew that stage of life where you move somewhere first and found the job second.

Mellow Mushroom

We hit Mellow Mushroom for dinner. We split a sausage, house special pizza and pretzels. I love Mellow Mushroom and that is the best wood carving in any of their restaurants. Each one of the franchises has one, most relating to the local mascot or, failing any particular ties to sport and culture a giant psychotic mushroom. The eagle-on-tiger motif is the best of the bunch.

During the eventual post-apocalyptic period some enterprising young college student will burn precious fuel to make his way there, break into this place, sample the beer taps and load that sculpture onto the back of his pickup truck. Sure, he might lose a friend or two to the zombies in the process, but it will look so sweet in the fraternity house.

Fin joined us for dinner. We’ve drafted him to help us unload things when the truck makes it to town. It is good to have free labor at the other end of your long day.

We had leftovers for our refrigerator in our little room and DVDs to watch. Tomorrow we’ll wake up and hit the realtor’s and then the lawyer’s office where, I’m told, I’ll sign approximately 97,000 pieces of paper.

I forgot my signature stamp.


24
Jul 10

Little by little, it all gets boxed

On a packing break I sat down on the sofa, reached out, pressed the power button and a crease of thunder scorched the sky. Not a little thunder, but the ominous, rumbling, “Thor’s coming” kind.

So I pressed the mute button, hoping that would somehow keep us out of the rain. It did. I did not know my remote control was that powerful.

We’re down to the portion of the packing where you’ve put away everything you can live without for at least a few days. This is also known as the portion of the packing where you look around at the things you think you need to live comfortably over the course of the week and wonder “When am I going to pack this stuff?”

I started shredding documents this afternoon. I have a simple little home shredder, surely not meant for industrial use or volume, but it has been resting up over the last several years when I should have been shredding, but postponed the chore. So, today, I looked like a military general, destroying papers as the invading army made its way into my compound.

I shredded a lot of paper. Some things, I picked up the remnants and shredded sideways, just to see what would happen. (Confetti.) I filled three bags with little ribbons of paperwork filled with varying degrees of important material. The years 2000 to 2004 have all vanished, bill-wise. This emptied an entire box and a two-drawer filing cabinet.

There’s still one large box to address at some point in the future. Somehow I’ve convinced myself that this was a good use of a significant portion of my day.

Tomorrow we’ll spend part of the day in the car. Anything to keep from packing.


23
Jul 10

Friday photo

Allie works out

Just another day of packing, shuffling, organizing, discarding, agonizing over discarding and scraping skin on cardboard.

I think the cat has figured out something is up.


22
Jul 10

Remembering radio

Of the many things that have recently floated to the surface in the cleaning and packing are stacks and stacks of cassette tapes from my years in radio. I broadcast for eight years, what seems like a lifetime ago. When I consolidated the tapes in the cleaning of the garage it turned into one impressive box full of old material.

I’ve been hanging onto them because I’ve promised myself (for years, now) that I’d one day listen to them and digitize the good stuff. Somewhere in all those many tapes there has to be two or three good air checks. The world needs, I figure, dated jokes, aging soundbites and hard news leads delivered in a young man’s voice.

Mostly I keep the tapes to keep me humble. Putting one in and pressing play would crack me up, or make me grimace, for hours.

While I learned early on I was no disc jockey, thank goodness, I did turn into a strong news anchor and sports reporter. I had another dip into that memory today, when I had dinner with my radio mentor Chadd Scott. He taught me a lot, because he learned from a great one, who learned from two greats. We learned a lot together because when we worked together Chadd and I found ourselves in a position where the bosses left us alone to make mistakes. We created more successes than failures, though.

He’s in town from Atlanta for SEC Media Days. Since he made the trip, we’d asked him to pick us up a bookshelf from Ikea. He drug it across the state line, crammed into his car with his colleague and intern. I think he made his intern go fetch the bookshelf from the store, which would be the silliest thing I’ve ever had an intern do.

My own internship at ACES, once upon a long time ago, was an excellent experience. There were three communication specialists and me doing the job of six or eight people. I built web pages, produced television, practiced photography and dark room skills, wrote for newspapers, cut audio for radio and more. The least consequential thing I ever did was to collate photo copies, and that was a necessary thing for my projects. My internship was so useful I’ve always been conscientious to help interns have the opportunity to receive a similar experience.

And now some young man has been sent to Ikea to pick up a bookshelf in my name.

We had dinner with Chadd and Chuck Oliver and others tonight.  We talked Internet, where just maybe I returned the favor and gave Chadd a little practiced advice.They are working on a big project, one I’m looking forward to seeing this fall.

The Yankee and I each enjoyed a frosty for dessert. I recorded two voiceovers. (Anybody need voice work? I used to be in radio, you know … ) We watched a bit of television and packed more. We’ve only a week more of this to go!